Don't play Russian roulette with a full chamber

Why don't you dig that ***** a little deeper
Drive it into my heart
Pierce me straight on through
But darling it don't hurt like it used to
I'm a big girl
That is so extremely fake
Barbie might be jealous
You are the cause for that but
Like I said
It don't hurt like it used to
Then again,
I don't love like I used to either

I sat upon my bench so black
So battered
So lonely
My brother sat in the chair to my right
To my consciousness
To my awareness
On his way out I asked him to **** the lights
**** the distractions
**** the white noise
And I sat in the dark after opening that dusty lid
Sleek lid
Smooth lid
And there were my emotions
Poured out into my foot and flighty fingers
I closed my eyes to deepen my thoughts
To clear my mind
And for the first time in a long time
I felt my soul being touched
Being warmed
Being remembered
I prayed outloud as the strings of the piano
Reflected the strings of my heart
I allowed the tears and mascara to freely run
And the anger to burn fiery red
Fading into an abusive purple
Melting into a blue depression
And finally waltzing into yellow hope
Splattered with a foxtrot of grey forgiveness
In the dark basement
All alone tonight
I found myself again
"I thought you were lost"
"I wasn't lost, you just needed to search"
Fortisitisimo might have sounded like truth
But the most sacred things I've ever learnt
Have been in life's rare
Pianissimo moments

I don't believe in gender roles
Because how are we supposed to societally grow
If we set restrictions on
What can be done and by whom
Simply because of their anatomy?
I don't believe in quitting
Because how is anyone supposed to learn
If we just allow
Giving up on hopes, dreams, goals
Simply because, "it's too hard"?
And yet we make life a cage
Too small even for a canary
Choking ourselves with regulations
And stereotypes
Striking fear into our own hearts
We live in the land of *******
Where we claim
We can be whatever we want to be
And do anything we set our minds to
Yet here we are
Not much further along in our
Backwards thoughts
That originated pre oppression
Amd long before we boarded the Mayflower