It's 2:02
And once again I have
No idea what to do
The ground has once again
Started to shake
And the vision of my
Blood stained eyes
Are the first thing
That signals the start of
My demise.
The hallucinations
Are clouding
I feel the perspiration.
I feel my chest cave
And my wings tear
As I get dizzy
The air gets warm and I see everything blackout..

I'm sorry if all the remedies I use
Are the same remedies
That can ****,
I'm sorry you hear me scream at night
I thought the nightmares were real.
I'm sorry that I care so much,
I'm sorry I can't save enough.
I'm sorry I'm the worst angel,
I'm sorry
I really am

italic*
i keep saying im fine
that nothing is going on.
i keep saying forget it
nothing's wrong
but no matter how many times i tell myself thaat im fine,
i cant force myself to believe it.
im an emotional wreck
and nothing in the world
can fix me.
an adopted child
an oldest sister
a daughter
a girlfriend
a monster
what the hell is wrong with me
people keep saying that itll be okay
but its not!
and it never has been..
but hey ill play pretend with you
if you promise not to make me tell
a secret.
ill wear the fake smile
that you gave me
and i wont open my heart to you.
ill just be wasted space.
dont mind the blood
dont mind the tears.
theyre a figment of your imagination.
believe in me
when im gone.
i was the one walkimg down the hallway
living in sleeves.
not talking
unless spoken to.
emotionless.
breathless.
but i wont say a word
ill play pretend
but you gotta play fair.
you wont miss me when im gone.
so dont worry
keep a smile
dont cry.
you are my best friend
but im sure you can find another
im no one special
trust me.
its ok.
dont cry
dont shed a tear.
ill be gone
but i wont dissappear
this isnt goodbye
its just until next time....
until next time

I'm drowning in a pit
Of heartbreak and despair.
I can't tell you why
For fear that you'd care.
I'm like an avalanche
I can feel myself go down
In falling into the flames
And I'm the only one to blame
Forgive me for caring
Forgive me for my sins.
Forgive me for the fact that I don't blend in.
I'm sorry.
I'm like an avalanche I can feel ~~
Oh, no..

ne more fight in this ******* house.
i swear to Satan i'm going to blow
my ******* brains out.
im tired of your pathetic pity and selfishness of lies
you spread them like a disease.
beg me to hit you
i dare you please.
you kick
i punch
enough is not enough.
slap me
kick me
beat me where its gonna hurt.
wring me out
choke me
give me what i deserve
oh mother, tear me apart im begging you, please!
give me the hard love
give me what i need!
ignore my cries
silence my screams.
give me the pain that
sends me to my knees.
**** me off
wont you hit me again?
im not tired.
i love the way you hate me.
i want to feel the hate
the anger
the aggression.
why apologize
when im gonna **** up again?
oh loathe me
i continue to show my face.
ill stop since im such a disgrace.
same time tomorrow?

I have a lot of nightmares,
Sometimes I dream of you dying in my arms
Sometimes I dream
That I'll never get to see
The end of the war.
I plug in my headphones
And try to listen to a different tune.
But somewhere along the way
I end up playing the same old blues.