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oh, how you shine

ten billion stars
all in your two eyes
when I reach for you
it's zero gravity
nerves like electricity
what covers me, is
ten billion stars tingling
i can feel nothing else
entangling yourself to me
ten billion stars
have shown me
enlightment
oh how i want to love
each and every atom
of every dead star
remember every birth
ten billion is a lot
but here, in this moment
i can taste your worth
I wrote this listening to Day One by Lights and that song feels like *** in the middle of space
hope you're listening right now
can barely hold my tongue
for the **** we do
could warm the sun
at night
twisted in a melting fall and
sleeping with the scratching claws
your words
let me know you're feeling me
and seeing all the things I see
You know me all too well
I'm terrified of what that means
If you'll see through my walls
You will, won't you?
Because let me be honest
these are no longer walls
they are windows to my soul

and you're bound to figure me out.
Honestly,
I'm not alright
And you aren't helping
Catching symptoms as though
I am the common cold
Sniffling, sneezing
Worrying about me
I'm okay, okay?
This is my everyday
I don't escape my
thoughts are ever present
I can't turn off my brain
But man I wish I could
Stop thinking about you
And wishing you were
Nonexistent
Just go away
I am the common cold
But I will never dissipate
And you'll suffer
Until your untimely death
It's the fear that keeps me going
the fear of failing
fear of never falling in love again
fear of slipping, deep into despond
scared to lose my breath,
or my balance
watching as the sky vanishes
above me, barely missing rocks
as waves wash over my face
gasping, aching and reaching
but finding myself alone
that fear
that keeps me going
cold breeze
finger tips across
these goosebumps
"you are" he sighs
lips part to my skin
miss the space between
your eyelids where I lose myself
forget about my life
your teeth dug in my shoulder
as I lay there simply yawning
you are right
I am cold and disinvolved
I write my loneliness in poems
you think I'm nothing else
But I, I am
I miss the feeling I get when I'm standing five feet from Lights & she's singing a song that's touching my soul.
I reach to the sky and feel alive,
singing every word I know.
Blood rushing through my veins like electric pulses, my feet can't touch the ground, my knees are shaking now;
she reaches out and in that split second -
I grab on and don't let go.
Ill never let go.
Love for music is bigger than any other love I've ever felt. Brighter. Softer.
Easier to hold onto and harder to lose!
Ill never let go, Lights.
You helped mold me into who I am.
You helped me see that my goals can be met.
You give me strength when I am weak; love when I am cold. I will never let go.
Forever & always a fan.
Idek for my bae Lights, you make me happy.
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