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 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Max
we are monster in these indigo beginnings
this space and time you forget by dawn
brilliant cracked universes show in your eyes
stop
scream out thy wild dreams
inside blue stars death stands by
look for consequences burned sweet, because
lovely explosions ain't free
difference threatens with pathetic marches
breath yellow dust
ghosts of fantastic commentary
playing in your head
music never gave such blithe
fire crackles, up up it goes
naked hunger ends your soul
but people will hold you intact
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Max
Invisible
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Max
I gave my identity to a man
who stabbed me with it.
I gave my identity to my friends
who tore it up into little pieces
to show everyone.
I gave my identity to my mother
who would not touch it.
Every time I would give it away
I would find it crushed
and beaten.
So now I never give it away.
I stay invisible, that's my goal,
and I'm pretty **** good at it.
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Max
I still remember the day my friend sat me down
and told me my life story, this time void of
*******. She wouldn't let me make excuses.
There was no, "Yeah, but that didn't matter because--"
No, "They didn't really mean it."
She told me, "I know they ****** you up,
and you hate them for it. They got inside your head
and shook it like a snow globe.
And I know that now you can't trust people
or let people touch you without flinching
or be tickled without having a panic attack.
You were starved and thrown around
and told you were worthless.
You did the best you could.
And you were scared.
I know."
She knows.
I don't know if I can let it go,
but she knows.
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
authentic
Lately I have been searching for inspiration
Waiting patiently in the corner of my bedroom
I trail the walls, paint them different color in my mind
Wonder if I can write about change
I stand back in Times Square
Gaze at the lights, follow the people, count their footsteps
I wonder if I can write about the city
Then I find myself checking my phone
Email overflowing, social media always the same
And your name
I wonder if I can write about you
And I can, but I know it is only empty words
Because I know you won't read them
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
thymos
moss on the rocks
fed by the stream passing over
—slip
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
thymos
i grow tired of my repetitions
i grow tired of
well, you know.
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
thymos
ashamed
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
thymos
ashamed of my face and all that lies behind it.
every mirror a reminder.
what a waste of time.
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Tupelo
Hips
 Apr 2015 Heliza Rose
Tupelo
I watched the moon creep across your chest,
Held your hips against mine,
Bare and alive we shared the twilight hours,
Tangled sheets among thighs,
Read poems beneath your waist,
Felt the shiver of your spine,
Heard nothings in the holy of night,
Gave way to the thought of forever,
Kept me awake till the sun
You are not helpful when trying to write
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