He waited in the alley way
ready for a feast
She walked down the streets alone
not anticipating a beast
He licked his lips, closed his eyes
breathing deeply of his prey
She plodded on, in her ears a song
not caring she never walked this way
He pulled his frame up tight
tightly coiled for the pounce
She continued upon, walking blind
in her step, a little bounce
He waited an eternity in the cold
for just one tasty bite
She hardly ever walked alone
and never ever in the night
He saw her as she broached the alley
recoiling against her dewy scent
She simply kept her eyes down low
not perceiving the imminent threat
He let her pass then stepped beyond
the alley where he would choke
watched her shiver in the dew
then offered her his cloak
She startled at the deep rich voice
that rumbled in her ear
turning to face the mountain man
that crowded her, so near
He murmured his apologies
for frighteninging her this eve
She accepted his 'so very sorry'
putting one arm through the sleeve
He helped her on with his cloak
She scented his dissent
He motioned for them to walk on
She pretended to ignore his intent
He talked to her as he walked
She nodded and she smiled
He grinned at her responses
She giggled all the while
He bought her home, safely
forgetting she was his meal
She bought him back, from the brink
turned around to show her heel
He clasped her hand to his heart
whispered 'There are others, such as I,
while tonight, you arrived home safe,
it's more than likely you'd not survive'
She took his palm from her heart
pressing her lips dead upon its centre
then licked up to his fingertip
asking 'But, who would remember?
Who would ever remember the girl
found broken in some alley way?
If you're not the one to remember,
please... *Stay'

I liked everything about you

your body, your soul,
your poems, your kiss
your not so gentle touch
your brushing fingertips?
your secrect smile,
your irreverence
your ability to sing,
your inability to dance?
your shy way of smiling
your angry way of
communication
your cute way of saying
*I'm not your exhale
but your inhalation?

I stepped left when I should have stepped right.
It was a dance that ended my life.

I just want to wrap my hands
around your neck
and squeeze too hard for so long
that the petechial hemorrhage
that burst like an exploding universe
in your eyes, cries me a river of blood
My fingers simply twitch
to slap you for your travesty
so your head whips around
to look back on yesterday
I want to lay you down
like a spike strip on the highway
of my nightmares
so you can share the feeling
of being run over at 60 mile an hour
just so you know what it's like
when people stop to stare
at the car wreck of life
I want you to be the test dummy
of the most ill built car
and watch your spine snap
as you hurtle into space
at the dead end of a trap
I want you to be the fish
with the hook stuck in your gills
floundering, ill equipped,
unprepared to breathe air
I want you banged up, mangled,
discombobulated, eating dirt
and when you try to take
your next breath
you may know a fraction
of my hurt

two eyes to behold
two arms to hold
two legs to wrap tight
one soul to recognize
what is right
believe in it I must
love at first sight
one chance
to make it right
two opportunities
*Day and Night

wear that
                  wear this

Smile

don't laugh

don't. even. think

about the                aftermath*

little princess
in your pretty dress

little prisioner
naked beneath satin

little faker
pretending less

little liar
it's not the end

the note would fall out of a book
published for her one true love
rarely ever opened,
hardly ever looked at
by the one she writes of....

the note was quite verbose
and spoken in the first verse

I never loved anyone last
You were forever my first.
So here shall sit this broken letter
trying to explain a tapestry past,
crazy stitched upon cheap fabric
bleeding upon the broken glass
that litters our yesteryear
which I continually crawl upon,
every word whispered on my body
beats a rhythm of our song.
Soul deep and penetrating
bleeding notes that lull like crack
and when the sweet torture
splits your veins apart,
there is nothing you'd take back.
So grant me this peace in misery,
read the words of the book
where you find the note
because I wonder how long
it would take you to find it,
I feel it should have been
the first place you looked

He never found the note
because he left the book closed.
Yet he continues to cut her
a single rose, from the bush
she planted years ago,
because he thinks
it will bring her back
If he'd only opened the book
he'd know that,
*She really said Good-bye

She speaks in whispers
nobody knows why
but she lies

She thinks in actions
others don't understand
but she can

Captured demons bleed
minus their razored wings
but she sings

There she lies, battered
cracked and broken
No. Words. Spoken

Her demons stand sentinel
over her ****** sacrifice
but
      she
            holds

**the knife

I reveled in the smell of sulphur like that of a struck match. Then I remembered I gave up smoking 2 years ago.

I saw everything you did to me, the cut of the knife, red blood dripping down my legs, my heart beating in your fist. Yet the only intact thing they retrieved from the shallow grave was the blindfold.

You touched me lightly on the shoulder, I thought you woke me for a kiss. Then I remembered I already kissed you before they closed the coffin lid, 6 months ago.

I always smile when you speak to me in German. It's the last language you learned before you died in 1942.

My dog is always able to tell me when we weren't alone, he'd wag his tail in Hello or he would growl when a stranger was near by. He's growling now, even though he died, a year ago.

I screamed at the oncoming light! I wasn't frightened until I realised you had tied me upon the railway tracks.

I wanted to wear my Mothers wedding dress. Even I can't remove the dirt stains.

I sit in the corner of our bedroom staring at our bodies entwined. I see you tilt to the side, to text message your girlfriend, while I'm oblivious.

They used to embed bells above ground for those that may have been buried alive. Mine is missing its ringer so I just continue to scream.

I removed all the trees from the side of the house. Still the scratch at the window keeps me awake.

Married in White, Buried in Black. I continue seeing you in shades of Gray.

we had different opinions
but the moon set us right
we see the same silhouettes
under the same filtered light
we saw different shadows
but the sun saw new meanings
we danced beneath the moonlight
in shadows that were fleeting

When repeating from an unknown source, it is still respectful to say
"These aren't my words"
of course, just borrowed thoughts

We built this city
On the blackened ash
Of white splintered bones
Thrown out like trash
On piles of rubble
Never built to last
Sleeping with one eye open
And one foot in the past
With walls made of glass
And foundations of false hope
We built this city
Hoping for synchronicity
Never realising it was a slippery *****!

This will not be a flowery prose
Wrapped in an imaginary love heart
This will be my new beginning
Writing this will be a start

This is not a love story
That people love to hate
There is just the start and then the end
In between does not even rate

This is not where I will beg
With flowery words of love forgotten
This is where I’ll say to you
To me, all we had now smells rotten

This will never be a love sonnet
Whispered through the sands of time
But to me, as I remember all to be
It will remind me of you, you slime!

This is not a love poem
No longer even a love song
The bitterness of my tears
Have dragged on far too long

This is not the happy ending
I dreamed of to be true, so
This is where you kiss my ***
While assuming I’ll pine for you

I check my followers every day
and when the clock turns back
it makes my heart sink

because it's not that I think
that I've been unfollowed
I certainly don't think that
no, as my clock ticks backwards it's
because who I follow also declines
by each tock, according to the stats

So yeah,
every time I lose a follower
my heart shrivels inside my chest
because another person I admire
has laid down their pen to rest

he sat in the chair
beside her bed
gently holding her hand

she stared at a face
withered fingers
could not trace

as he whispered

I Am Your Man

he sat by her
as she dreamed
he held her
as she screamed
he bathed her sweated brow
repeating his sacred vow

I loved you at first sight
Even though I didn't
get it right, but even now
as the sun sets, I'll get it
right now

She heard his words
riding the glittering rainbow
of Pain
she knew the same
she had given the same vow
to him long ago
she knew in the now
it was time to let go

Her last words to him
wrapped in delight
and delivered on a first kiss

She said to him

if you remember nothing,
remember this...

*I loved you in darkness
I loved you deep
I loved you in sorrow
in happiness my heart keeps
your soul, which I shall borrow
but to my shame
I'll keep it until tomorrow

wanting to see it all
from top to bottom
sitting in the stands
smelling something rotten
leaving a nasty taste in my mouth
a moue of disappointment
under appreciating surroundings
feeling a loss of entitlement
wanted to taste it all
wanted to speak its language
wanted to experience it's thrall
felt nothing except banished
saw nothing but heartache
saw nothing but fear and pain
felt nothing in my exile
wings beating hard, here I remain

Just had to cut open
my pack of cigarettes
**with a knife

lah de dah de dah de dum
lah de dum de dum de dah
lah de dah de dah de dum
la dah dum de lah de dah

they called it a stroke
even then, I understood
but I never got the answer

You never spoke again
so I interpreted for you

*My journey has just begun
I travel, but not far
My journey has just begun
You must stay where you are

She ran towards the rocky cliff
that bit beneath her feet,
crying for somebody
to give her wings
so she could meet
her one true love, just come ashore
she promised him they'd meet
she flew across the rocky cliff
leaving a ****** trail
beneath her unshod feet

He stood upon the ships prow
praying for her arrival
He'd given up hope of arriving
nearly dead in his survival
Marching upon the broken backs
of bothers that had fallen
he stood upon the ships bow
hearing her sweet voice a calling

She dodged the farmers cart
and weaved amongst the miners
slipping and sliding in the muck
looking lost to the finders
skirting around the grubby children
chasing each other in the street
****** footprints in her trail
her one true love she will meet

Until she falls on cracked ground
and plants her hands in the mire
looking up to the ice cold sky
glimpsing the raining of fire

He saw the glow and felt the heat
of Hells very own righteous fury
far from home, knowing he was beat
but remembering his duty

She stands, this day, upon the cliff
waiting for his ship to sail in
He stands upon the ghostly bow
waiting for her to meet him

Dear Life,

*you're not worth it

when you speak
a tiny little spark
erupts into flame
a mute scream is not seen
and pain is not plain, but
words are an aphrodisiac
to a weakened state of mind
little tiny bubbles of pleasure
fizzing in sizzling veins
leaving all the troubles behind
talk like there is no tomorrow
you must say all that you think
chatter non stop
and the world will pop
like little thought bubbles
floating on a raging stream
cry like your heart is dying
as it sits in the hand of a lover
beating it's last
for it stood fast
before it knew it was over
scream like it hurts,
like it lusts
like it will never be the same
scream like pleasure finally
became pain, then scream once again
when you once again
become sane, if it still hurts
scream until your insane

*do it all, even if it hurts
do not dispute
never, ever become mute

Where I sit is an empty place
a space full of no meaning
a seat that is reserved for one
devoid of any feeling
Where I sit is a lofty stoop
characterized in concrete
just a single placed chair
a place to put two feet
Planted upon unforgiving ground
and rumored to be true
where I sit is a lonely place
but could be shared, by two

What a hearts thinks?

What it really feels?

** L O V E
         O
         L      
         A
         T
         I
         L
         E

"If you had a gun, I'd ask you to shoot me right now"

If I had a gun, I'd put it to my own head
Just so I could never hear those words again

I'll never forget laying at the foot of your bed
As you spoke about dying or the things that you said
Halfway through your contemplation of your life
You fell asleep and I was left laying like you stabbed me with a knife

But I laid there, at the foot of your bed
waiting for you to repeat everything
you said, I laid there in dread

Then you woke and continued
like you had never spoke
and asked once again
"Do you have a gun?"*

No, I don't have a gun
I can't pull the trigger
on all of your nightmares
but somewhere, out there
you've hallucinated
all of reality, it seems
you were unable to leave
until I aimed the barrel
between the eyes
of all your dreams

You don't get to judge me
by my outward appearance

Unless you live inside of me
and live what I experience

You don't get to laugh at me
or shed a tear at my pain

You don't get to know me
unless you live inside my brain

You don't get to know me
unless you appreciate where I stand

You will never get to know me
by ignoring my outstretched hand

I said to you I Love You
As plain as words can be
You whispered back softly
Why do you love me?
Hesitating ever so slightly
How do I form the words?
Expressing a lifetime of happiness
Into just one tiny clause…
To turn the world upside down
With only a small smile
A light inside the darkness
To make it all worthwhile
A laugh to capture the moment
Where happiness is complete
A smile, a shrug, pride in hand
A solid stance against defeat
A tear that’s shed for all that’s lost
A heart with a room for tender
A sigh for all that has gone before
A place of all remembered
You ask me why I Love You
Three words that gave me pause
A secret smile will touch my lips
To utter…
Just Because

~21.07.2010~