~wherever, whenever and forever for Sally B.~


"Don’t urge me to leave you.              "If I could, then I would
To turn back from you.                          I'll go wherever you will go
Wherever you go,                                   Way up high or down low
I will go,                                                   I'll go wherever you will go
And where you stay,                              Run away with my heart
I will stay.                                                 Run away with my hope
Your people will be                                Run away with my love
My people                                                I know now, just quite how
And your God                                         My life and love
my God.                                                   Might still go on
Where you die, I will die,                      In your heart, in your mind
There I will be buried."                          I'll stay with you for all of time"

(Book of Ruth 1:16)                                  (Charlene Soria Lyrics)


Let it be writ,
Let it be sung,
All should know,
This I swear,
Where you are,
So, I shall be too.
Your hope, my hope.
Your heart, my heart.
Life and love,
But one.

Where you run,
I'll shall follow.
Now, today,
Forever,
If our bodies apart,
If our hands cannot
Grasp each other,
Yet, still,
In your heart,
In your soul,
I will be,
I cannot leave.

Where you are,
So, I shall be too.

I lose you
like I lose my mind-

effortlessly.

You look into my eyes
Saying so much more than words
I wrap my arms around you
Feeling your curves and your warmth

You twine your fingers with mine
Somehow a perfect match
But you still hold the hand of another
Of a man you love so much

I gaze at you when you're not looking
And smile when laughter lights your eyes
I wish you could always be mine
I wish I could be the one who makes you smile.

tonight is one of those nights here you can feel your own heart beating.
where you lay on your bed and wonder why you're still here.  why you're so still, how you continue to breathe, how your flesh is still somehow loosely pinned onto your bones, how your hair hasn't all fallen out yet or how your fingers move quickly enough to write the words you're thinking. it's one of those nights where you constantly ponder the dreaded thought of being forgotten. of being replaced.  it's when you think of your future and what it might hold for you. where you conjure up scenarios you want to happen, even though they probably never will.
where you miss people.
where you dream a little too big.
where you have small hopes to conquer the big dreams.
where you think of what you'll have for lunch tomorrow.
where you listen to music and sing the lyrics out loud.
where you cuddle your pillow, because you don't know if you're broken or put together.
where you're lonely.
all because of a heart beat.

Oh how I ache
Of a broken heart
Something is missing
And that is how it will start

I have some news for you
Yes, I'm gay
I promise not to change
And that's all there is to say

I wish you'd understand
Why I can't love a man
Why woman are what I love
And that I believe in eve and Ann

I don't want to loose you forever
But that's what its coming too
Can't take another rejection
Just know that I love you

I found someone who loves me
Gender doesn't matter
I wish you could meet
Or my heart might shatter

Acceptance is my prayer
Love is what I need
I wish you'd stop rejecting me
So I didn't have to bleed

You're ruining what'd we had
But I'll give you one more chance
Just accept that I'm gay
So you can see our first dance

maybe i'm just exacerbating everything

i don't know if this sadness is real
this social anxiety
this fear

this never-ending ******* fear

i just want to get away from it all
get lost in someplace beautiful
someplace safe and someplace good
someplace i can call my home

when will this struggle ever end?
do you think our hearts get stronger?
do you believe there's something beautiful
on the other side of the fence?

my faith exists
but so does fear
and constantly they wrestle in my mind
and sometimes the voices in my head
just won't shut up

i believe there's something good out there
life ***** sometimes, i know, i know, i know
but hope is more powerful than anything i've ever felt

so i guess the struggle will end
and our hearts get stronger
and there's something beautiful
on the other side of the fence

i don't know how and i don't know why and i don't know when

but i believe it'll get better,
and for now that's more than enough for me.