Hello, anguish.
Long time, no torture.
How have your travels been?
Tell me, did the fires burn
Too hot for you?
I thought, for once,
I had banished you
To whichever pit
Of Hell
You managed to arise from,
So that you may
Find me so easily,
As the goal of a hunt
Caught in your crosshairs.
I should have known better.
Well, while you're here,
Please have a seat.
Sit anywhere you like.
Anywhere but THERE!
You must be a well-seasoned guest
To know exactly which door to knock on,
And exactly where you want to rest.
So of course you pick my heart,
And lay your feet upon my soul.
I do so hope you're comfortable.
Insistent *******.
How have I been?
Why, how kind of you to ask.
What's your motive?
I've been fine, really.
A little sporadic uneasiness
Here and there,
But mostly on the fast track
To regaining my peace of mind.
Well, I was actually
In the middle of it
When you arrived.
I sound like I'm talking to a therapist.
Yes, I need 10 milligrams of Stop Talking To Inanimate Feelings.
Oh, don't be sorry.
As if you ever are.
I don't mind the company at all.
I do spend so much time
Alone these days.
I was well on my way
To finding my resting place,
My place of solitude
And productive thought,
A fragile teacup
Of a space
In the landfill
Of the world.
Some days are better
Than others.
What's that?
A gift, you say?
A souveneir, perhaps?
To hell if I'm keeping whatever it is.
What might you have for me this time.
Some sort of anxiety, I'm sure. But what about this time around?
My schooling? My finances? My family? My relationship, matters of the heart?
Oh.
Uncertainty.
Well... it wasn't
what I was expecting,
But still, it's nothing less
Than what I would expect from you.
Uncertainty about what,
Though?
There's no label this time.
.........
What do you mean,
It's a gift for identifying?
And WHERE are you going?
No.
NO.
You cannot simply leave this here,
Resting upon my weary shoulders,
Which bear so much already,
And leave me to figure it out.
You mustn't simply waltz off
Into the unknown blackness
Of the recesses of the human mind,
As if you haven't a care in the world.
You are a terrible guest,
Showing up uninvited,
At a most inconvenient time,
Bearing gifts of unneeded,
Unnamed weight,
Leaving me to figure it out.
Fine. Leave.
You wretched, vile creature.
See if I let you in again.
Begone, and let every door
Hit you on your way out.
May every jagged rock
In your path
Catch your foot in your
Sadistic, carefree walk
About the earth.
May every web
That spiders weave
Entangle you
Beyond rescue.
Yes, goodbye.
Now, what of this....
Thing?
It has no name,
Yet I am supposed
To know what it is.
Hmm.
Feels like...
Questioning.
Yes, there's questioning here.
Many questions.
But of what?
I have questions about
Many things,
As my curious nature
Must have it so.
Also feels like...
Emotion.
Unwanted emotion.
How that little beast
Does manage to bring
The worst gifts to me,
At the worst times,
Is beyond me.
He needs a hobby.
Let's see... emotions
Of the heartfelt kind.
Of the deep recesses
Of that bipolar *****
Which no ne trusts
And everyone breaks.
Emotions and questions.
Oh dear God.
No.
No, I must dispose of it
Right away.
This is the sort of thing
I fear most.
HOW did he manage,
Also,
To get fear in there,
As well?!
No, it must be thrown away.
"Do not yell your curses at me!"
"Who are you to say that I
Haven't an idea at all
What I want, and when,
And where, and why?!
What judge are you,
And with what authority
Do you claim I am divided,
My side unpicked,
And that a canyon
Lives within me?"
"Petty fool, you are not welcome here!"
I know what I am doing!
And I shall make the rules,
For it is I who must obey them!"
Alas,
There are no rules.
None to be made,
And none to be followed.
Even more tragic,
Is that I know not
What I am doing,
And I doubt I ever will.
For it is these,
Of all horrid gifts,
Delivered without
Notice,
At the precious price
Of losing sureness of mind
And peace of the soul,
That may not be returned.
The gift that keeps on giving,
Until I decide it shan't...
A decision I cannot bear to make,
While in company
Of battered spirit,
Fearful heart,
And overconfident,
Incessantly calculating mind.
For now that he is gone,
I must entertain them, too.
*How did I ever get so lucky?