im alone...
in a an abandoned factory.
with lights so dim only a cats eye could see.
I can hear the chains clicking
while the light flickers in the distance.
the air is hot and choking me
my hair's falling out and so are my teeth..
im describing my disease,
which is basically consuming me.
the scale is God
food is the devil
and I have sinned

I sit atop my bed
Filled with hopeless dread
Wondering what life would be like
If I myself were liked
What if I was popular
What if I was cool
What if I made all the boys at school drool
Instead I'm sitting on my bed
Watching baby birds get fed
Wishing I were dead

big brown eyes
full lips
rich skin tone
gorgeous white smile
intoxicating cologne
why do you do this to me?
you make yourself so desirable,
but yet I cant have you.
when you look at me your eyes don't sparkle the way mine do, even when I see a picture of you.
just like my grandmother you to sing to me:
"you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
you make me happy, when skies are gray.
you'll never know thee, how much I love you.
please don't take my sunshine away"
please release me of the shackles of your embrace.
your personality is a fountain of gold and silver.
you light up my day better than the sun does....Wow.
why don't you love me?

they tell me my hair needs to be waist-length and
that I need to feminine with a man's strength.
that my skin needs to be crystal clear
no matter the season.
and that I must always keep my composer no matter the reason.
that I must wear heels that hurt my feet
to beat every other woman that must be beat.
that being a woman is all competition, and you must get first place.
or die alone and never feel the grace.
the grace of getting married
or grace of being called beautiful
or having an amazing family.
they tell us to have these things we must be "PRETTY"

if I starve myself my bones will show
if I cut my thighs no one will know
theyll check your wrist for cuts and scars
but none will mend the broken heart.
ill pop the pills and die real slow.
quietly, so no one will know.

here your only memory lies
from your funny stories
to your lovely lullabies.
from the times that we laughed
and the times we cried.
we went through all of this just to say goodbye.
but in my heart you will always be
till the day I die and see you in front of me