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kain May 2022
**** hustling
**** getting the bag and not looking back
**** money before *******, money before love
My lover and I are resting
We’re relaxing
We’re waking up together on a Sunday morning curled up in bed
And laying there,
Letting the day come to us

So **** the eternal grind of the capital machine
If I am to be a cog in the depths of this device
I will make the metal around me
A loving and warm home
kain May 2022
Can't stop feeling like I lost something
Every time this song comes on
Pounding through my eardrums
To the place in my head
Where a thirteen year old still remains

The worms and the freaks
Ripped up sheets
Of notebook paper scrawl
Drawing suicides and broken hearts
On my binders and my arm
Thinking about lost kisses
But not lost for me

Nights that lasted forever
Blaring music in my bed
Writing scars and mascara tears
With a plain face
Not old enough to wear makeup yet

Misery is the most frequent company
But not my closest friend
Melanie Martinez rock version nightcore
In the back of last period
Scattered colored pencils
And shared wicked smiles
We were thirteen and thought we were evil
Thought we knew everything
Title from the songs by Zedd and The Cab.
kain Apr 2022
You make my throat hurt
Aching up from my core
Slick and soft and smooth
Picturing you kissing and licking into my mouth
kain Mar 2022
Easily disappointed
By my own too high too low standards
I hate my imperfect skin
I should be loving the flaws in me
But I can't bring myself to
Staring at the stickers
On the back of my teacher's computer
Waiting for time to pass
Until I can go home
Lay in bed
And wait for time to pass again
Title from the song by Afourteen and Regret Boy.
  Mar 2022 kain
Mikey
i stared into your eyes and declared my love for you
i felt my soul leap out of my throat
and my heart pound against my rib cage
i said i love you with all the air in my lungs
with all the marrow in my bones
i said it with all of me
and you said it back, with none of you

so now i stare at this navy blue prom dress,
hung up in my closet
and curse to myself
how could you be so stupid.
kain Mar 2022
"And I don't really feel like you came back..."

We fade to black
I wake up on the other side
Tears crusted and stinging around my eyes
You are disillusioned to me
I'm without a jacket and I'm cold
I want to go home
Doing my best to forget
The time we spent together
Goodbye
kain Mar 2022
The soft lines of your face
The rough wisps of hair
Sticking out from under your beanie
Someday you'll read this
And ask me what I was thinking about

I'm thinking about you, dove
The crooked line of your nose
The cadence of your voice
You're talking and I'm listening
But I'm also wondering
Can you see it in my eyes
How in love with you I am

The bouncing of your webcam is now a comfort to me
And maybe I'm obsessive
But I'd rather be obsessed with you
Than be anything else
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