You asked me if
I could remain?
I asked you if
you felt the same?
You asked me if
there was another?
I asked you if
it would be a bother?
You asked me if
you were a start?
I asked you if
you had a heart?
You asked me if
we had time, or space?
I asked you if
you knew the perfect place?
You asked me if
you could be my friend?
I asked you if
you were perfect at pretend?
You asked me if
We should just kiss goodnight?
I asked you if
you thought it would make it right?
You asked me if
things  could be different?
I told you
*Get bent

what do you do when you find out
your first love,
the one you love
doesn't love you anymore.

what do you do when you find out
that boy that cares about you so much
way too much,
does it to every other girl.

what do you do when you find out
the ones you think love you,
cherish you
just pretend to get what they want.

what do you do when you realize,
how stupid you were
how very stupid
to fall for such bad boys.

-te

you know that feeling where you don't want to get out of bed
you don't want to open up your blinds and see the world pour in through the sun's rays
because you know deep down it wouldn't make you happy anyway
you have nothing to look forward to
nothing to smile for

that is how i feel every day these days
and i wonder when it will go away

everywhere i turn
i am disgusted
my life seems to but nothing more than
a collection of disappointment and lies
soon enough it will drive me
off the edge
and i know i will go crazy
there-is-no-turning-back crazy
just like esther in the bell jar
that's what i think
that's why i sympathize and empathize with her
she is just like me
a person muffled and choked
by customs and expectations

A butterfly lives for a single day.
If she thinks, perhaps she thinks
It would be easier to stay cocooned.

But I like to imagine that every atom in her
Yearns for that fleeting moment
Moves towards the light
With wings outstretched, blazes for a second
Awaiting admiration, fully alive
Soars into the sky, aware that time is fleeting
Simply quivering with joy.

ash in rainclouds dripping air
lilac perfume in her hair
clipped on limestone as a marker
parades of silence growing darker


in such delicate hours
when u breathe in whispers
        and morninglit frosts
your ponytail neck
and
        hibiscus flowers
spill your time in glassine
fingers drowning moments
                       as nothing lingers

We can be lovers
Or strangers
Never again can we be at peace together
in each others company.
I miss resting my head on your shoulder
No awareness of the heat between our bodies.
I miss when you and I meant less,
Meaning more.
It seemed so unimportant, what we had
But now I mourn for when I could be with you in a room
And not yearn to move closer.
We were so careless with our calm moments
Never suspecting that everything could change
And suddenly, the charged air between us
Makes it difficult to breathe.
Breathe with me.
Breathe life back into what we have lost.
We'll starve these other thoughts of air
And let them die.