One

I hopped into my senses

And there was you

Two

You glanced over your shoulder

And there was me

Three

We stared for a blank moment

And there was no four.


h.s.

All I saw

were splinters of your former love

throwing themselves into my skin

and wounding everything they landed on.

h.s.

Pretend that you’re crying.
2. Actually cry.
3. Cry until the marks of your tears dig streams across your cheeks.
4. Learn that crying isn’t for people to see. Talk to yourself. In front of the mirror. To the ceiling. Talk about the unsaid. Say it.
5. Learn that your eyes hold feelings that need releasing before they explode into thousands of pieces of shredded memories.
6. See the proof of your feelings on your wet pillows.
7. Cry some more.
8. Know that your tears are not weakness but gift of love.
9. Learn that you are actually okay except for some hurt strings of your brain. Yes, brain. Not your heart. It just pumps blood, and pretends it feels.
10. Don’t be okay too soon. You’ll get there.

h.s.

I will tell you a secret.
I haven’t moved a bit from where you left me
Loving you is the cancer I chose not to treat
So let me tell you why:
I have loved you all along and I will love you until I have strings in my heart that move to the sound of your footsteps
I will love you until my deathbed is an altar of withered feelings and candles tired of watching tears dry up in the ground
I will love you until love is sick of being love, hearing my whimpers, screaming your name like holy verses praying for salvation
And you will die with me
Your life inside me will die with me.

| h.s.