The strength in which you created to bare us,
became the strength in which you need to bare us.
No book could've prepared you
for the disappointments,
the nights we don't come home,
for a hysterical rush of tears,
bullets straight into your shoulder.
Torn apart in ways more than one,
you never even saw it coming.
We are your blind spots;
the cause of constant and unspoken worry.
No longer possessing innocence,
but still demanding your blind trust.
We're sorry we never call,
and for growing up too fast.
But I promise, we're okay,
and you've done a perfect job.

I think I finally understand why you'll always love us.

i had to swallow the words
choking my throat
the first night i ever saw you cry.
luckily i had your tears
and a bottle of wine
to help wash down the knives.

i remember the way your soul died
and how your arms were child-sized.

it was the first time you told me you were
scared.

i should’ve ripped the air with
“**** yous” to God
and
“i believes” to the devil
but they’d already been ingested.

working with precision,
sterilized tools

carving scars in stomach lining,

words are hands of doctors
words are cutting through me
doctors through my Grandmother,
your Mother,

e x t r a c t i n g  the  c a n c e r

carving scars in stomach lining,

yet all the while She’s saying,
“help them” to God
and
“stay away” to the devil.

why a poet?
because a poet
hears the words
which sing the
purest harmonies
because a poet
paints their portraits
in pastels
of phrases
because a poet
dances their agonies
into leaps of faith
and pirouettes
of passion
because a poet
sees
the beauty
in the commonplace
and captures
the moment
in a snapshot
of ink and white
because a bloodless world
cuts itself
a thousand times

and the poet bleeds

Morning rises over Philadelphia
and cracks the sky;
untangles legs once intertwined.
Sun beams pierce through the window,
Revealing two bodies withdrawn to distant sides
of the hotel bed,

The night spent chest to chest
will forever be kept in the dark.

Drowned in sensory.
Internal explosions bring
the first breath of life.

-

Transitory world.
Realms warping, realms vibrating,
encased inside mind.

-

The wall is shattered.
You: transcending, flourishing.
Break free from axis.

-

Blueprints mapped in stars.
Secrets of the intrepid
travelers rush in.

-

“This is existence.”
The cosmos engulf you in  
esoteric truth.

-

Electric surges
deaden all concept of time.  
“You’re immortal here.”

-

The universe speaks,
Your body is listening,
This is life’s essence.

-

You begin return
to physical world with eyes
of new perspective.

Warm breath lingers under sheets,
hugs gentle
and whispers,
"I'm sorry."
I lay here now
within the fine line boundaries of this love
and a piece of me must mourn for what may never be.
But I have found there is more truth to this holding
as it speaks for all the words that have gone unspoken,
all the unanswered questions.
I breathed you in deep,
awake to remember your skin.
Intertwined in ways more than just the extremities of our Earlthy bodies,
my soul is at ease knowing a piece of you
will always be held within a piece of me.

“The Unveiling”
A name so inconsistent for what it represents:
The pinch of the IV injection
The instant heaviness in my head
Wobbly knees
Being assisted to the “Treatment Room”
Its bitter sterility
Shedding my clothes
And all sense of control
The chill of the cold metal bed
The goose-bumps crawling over my skin
The stick of plastic beneath me
Luke-warm water
Slow pealing of ****** bandages
Sharp stings of pain
Quick to come again
And again
Soiled runoff dripping down my legs
Pop music playing over the speakers
The discomfort it caused me
Yellow curtains
The little boy on the other side
His screams filled with agony
Clenching a towel between my teeth
How it didn’t help either of us
Slowly examining the new skin
Black, blue, and bleeding
The smell of its rawness
Nausea
Hot tears on my cheeks
They burn
A team of doctors
Their impenetrable staring
Hearing them mumble, “It looks great.”
My disagreement
The gnawing desire to ask
Why
They give an utterly gut wrenching experience
Such a grandeur name