My emotions change. For everything and everyone. My love for him begins to subtilize , and I start to second guess my feelings. Is it worth staying with him, when I feel so guilty. I love someone else, but I love him too. Four months with someone, and you build so much trust. One week with someone, and I don't feel the rush. I don't feel the rush I had when I first started dating him. My feelings are now subtle. And I feel like I am a cheat. I can't determine what is real, and I think I am beat. I am cheating.. myself and them. I don't deserve any of them. My heart skips the beat when I see him in front of me... but it's not the one who is new.. it's the one I've been with four months already and I don't know how to say that I am so.. so confused. I don't know what to do.

Cry
It isn't an easy thing to do
it only happens when someone or something
is true to you.
Don't expect the tears to hide behind your eye
let them fly
Crying doesn't mean that you are weak
and incapable
it show you are human and you aren't
afraid to show what you're made of.
It isn't always over something bad or sad
it could just be something that needs to be had
Crying is what makes you human
and if that can't be shown
maybe you better take a look in the mirror
and see why it's not being shown
Don't be afraid to cry
even if there is no reason why
its not something that makes you weak
it's actually proves you aren't afraid
at almost anything or anyone
it's something that makes you who
you are: a stronger person than before
someone who isn't afraid to be strong

It isn't always easy
but if it was
that would be a lie

I may have sad feelings
that make me want to cry
but in the end we're not saying goodbye

It's hard to think
that seeing you everyday will change
but in the end
it will all be okay

I am happy that you made it through
and are on to great things
even though I am a few steps behind
I am glad we survived.

Nothing will change
between you and I
except the fact that you are you
and I am I

I may get mad and say goodbye
but in the end that not what I stand by
We are friends like no other
me and you are unique
and were like no other.

Change can sometimes be good
even if its miles apart
You and I are strong
and we aren't going to drift apart.

I love you with all my heart
and that won't change
because were not at fault.

Please don't get mad
when I am mad
because in the end it's not going to change
the friendship we have

change will come and go
and our friendship will survive
because in the end
you are you
and I am I

You
You are alive
Even if you don't want to be
You ARE

Crazy things happen
and they make us want to die
but in the end
we are
alive

The answer
The answer to all my problems
One cut
Two cut
Three cut
Four
Suicide is knocking at my door

Hang yourself
Hang yourself
Hang yourself from a place very high

And then write your goodbyes:

Goodbye
Goodbye to all to which I spoke
and the ones I loved the most
I'm sorry to have left you all
knowing that most of you will forget me and all

Life will go on
you all will move on
leaving all your sorrows and memories behind
life will be better now that I am gone
you will be able to live very long
no more focuses on my life
you are the ones who are alive

suicide is my answer
and now you all know
but that doesn't mean that it is the end to your show
just because I am the dumb and stupid one
doesn't mean you all should follow


Killing myself is my answer
and that's all I know
I would say goodbye now
but
it isn't time yet to end my show.

It may be near or far
but all I know is
it's just like a star
stars burnout
and so do I

I will burnout like a star in the sky
and now you won't be able to see me fly
Die
Die
Die
Is my heart and soul
and so I will be what I am in my soul
I will burn out like a star in the sky.

I don't know what is scarier
the dark thoughts or the happy thoughts
they both make me very conflicted
and most times I don't know the difference

Dark Thoughts

They consume 99% of my mind
there isn't a time where they don't leave my mind
**** yourself
**** yourself
they scream, suddenly I that's all I think in my mind
Next thing I know,
there I am doing what is being thought in my mind
Slit the wrist
Slit the wrist
turns to be what I do..
**** yourself
**** yourself
and so,
I try to

Happy thoughts

My mind doesn't have many
but when it does it's very scary
Be Happy
Be Happy
the thought wants me to think
but it isn't the type of dream I can believe
Happiness doesn't exist
Just like my first kiss.
When the happy thoughts do come along
they do not last very long
they flash through my mind
like when the wind rushes by
it's there one minute but not the next
and so I am left with a crazy mess

I don't know what to think
but the happy and dark thoughts is what it seems to be
They are scarier than the days that come and go
mainly because the happy ones never show
dark ones always appear one way or the other
and so I do
what they have told.

You

You are a star

Sitting in the sky,

Carrying many bad memories

While you fly by


You last for many years

Coming in and out of my life

You sit around

You make me cry



Then

Then you burn out

Leaving a nasty hole

A big hole in the sky

When you burn out

So do I

When you burn out

You leave the sky


When you burn out

You leave the sky dark and lonely.

When you burn out

You leave me dark and lonely