to try

is to waste the last of my energy.
as i lay broken and exposed on a cold floor,
i cry until the heat on my skin is enough to
shatter the building.

to try

is to tear out the hearts of
pure people.
as i burn too bright to handle,
i darken the souls of angels.

to try

is to make the stolen kisses
last too long.
a kiss on the lips of that gorgeous girl,
knowing she's a *****.
a kiss on the lips of that perfect boy,
knowing he's to be married soon enough.
a kiss on the lips of death,
knowing that there's no reason to continue.

to try

is to make the drowning go faster.

to try

is to die.

why do you try to tell me what to do,
when i've been trough so much that you'll never be?
please,don't act so smart and mighty,
while you are infront of me.

I'm fairly sure I don't need a degree
to tell you what's wrong with me.

It's a pretty long list,
I'm pretty messed up, huh?

I don't need to hire a doctor
to tell me I hate myself and why.
I can name each and every reason why.

I don't need a doctor
to tell me I'm traumatized from my past.
My nightmares assure me well enough.

I don't want to talk about it,
I don't want your medicine.
I'm not alright and that's okay.

An ordinary touch
filling these veins
as they turn to stone

Markings on my heart
leave scars seared on
the red velvet lining
of the outer shell.

The Earth carries this mark
in it's womb endearing us
to those who live beyond

The ink bleeds from the pen
creating a whirlwind of thought.

I screamed.
No one came.

This is ruthless world,
and no one will be there
to save you when you need it.