There is a certain absence that echoes when it rains
I can feel it, in the storm of my life
And I can feel your absence as much as the rains'
You, today, I knew you were looking for me
When the bus pulled up and our eyes met
And it was like this chasm between us
Was closing and reopening in turbulent uncertainty
And we smiled at each other but with such sorrow, too
We spoke and laughed and I could almost forget
How terribly imperfect things between us are
I forgive the you that I know no longer lingers
I ask you forgive yourself, achieve inner peace
If we could escape to other lives and exist together
recreating ourselves far from judging eyes, I would
I would ignore the scolding of my mother
And the wrath of my friends
They don't know you like I do, don't love you like I did
I don't know if I still love you, or if it is just twin souls
Connecting again in joyous reunion
But I was looking for you, too

Here we are, shadows of ourselves
screaming desperately into a void
hoping that our echoes will reach the ******
and they, in their curiosity, will return
but the void is just empty dark
and no ghosts nor angels dwell here
it is just as empty, and lonesome
as your brittle heart now is,
the same heart that jumps with excitement
when the returning voice screams back
"COME HOME"
alas, an echo from shadow
the void is empty my dear

we are shouting at the dark.

**** them fake ******* that ditch you first chance
i never caused any unnecessary drama in a friend group that was all about friend hate and backstabbing, i was a ******* peace keeper in a garden full of snakes and forreal, what do i got to show for it?? diddly ******* squat. fml. I tried to be there for everyone i could at all times, tryna make sure everyone was happy, so WHY THE FUCCKK is it that im the one left alone? IM the one with no one left thats my friend. everyone's got their own little friend groups and ive got ******* no one. hows that ok? sick of this man, i like my own company but just got 4 years of friendship thrown back in my face. nah man. **** that.

Let the anchor drop
I will stay rooted to this murky water
until the tide comes in, a forceful fury
and washes me away with the ocean
I will ride the currents to distant lands
and live by the sun and stars,
with the moon as my compass
I will wax and wane with it
ebbing and flowing, in constant creation
like that current that swept me from shore
I will live my adventure, by hell and high water
and I will follow those stars, wherever they lead
But the book must close, the adventure end
and I will return to that anchor and murky water
and live a mediocre life far from ocean's reach
in a mediocre town; country; continent; earth
until my great journey fades, hazy and distant
tucked away under cluttered memory, remaining,
like a dream I once had,
one where I didn't fear the sea.

I don't want to be here anymore
In this skin, in this body,
in this house that doesn't feel like a home,
in this useless world that makes me hate myself
in this system that reduces living to working
I don't want to be here anymore
I want to be where the stars are,
where the rain will never reach me
and the light burns bright and golden
thats where I want to be
but I don't know if I could bear to go.

My life will end
as a blank canvas
on an empty wall
in an empty house
in a street that no one remembers
I will fade into the endless black
drowned amongst
the many nameless
forgotten by all
who once swore
to remember me
I will lie dying
in a potter's field
with a wilting flower
and a first name only
I will never publish my words
and I will never show my art
And I will forget to leave this town
fading like every other here
who had big, but fragile dreams
I will always exist
but forget to live.