You can’t see her, you can’t taste her
You can only breathe.
A temporary resident, a pleasant resident
Filling the empty pockets in your lungs and life.
Ultimately you’ll have to let her go,
For her to regain her freshness, and all her glory,
And everything that makes her breathable.
Feels very selfish using her and poisoning her with the poison of our own creation,
But for me to survive, selfish is what I must be.
Her selflessness, her ability to embrace without judgment,
Is what I adore the most.

I looked at you, taking a new breath
My heart started pumping a new kind of sensation,
The very moment your fingers ran across my body.
You changed me the way you wanted,
You used me the way you wanted.
You compared me, you criticised me,
For the things I couldn’t do,
For the things I was incapable of achieving.
And then came a day,
When you carelessly let go of me,
The same me, whom you adored,
The very same me, who kept all your secrets hidden from others.
Me, who stayed up all night with you,
To show you that someone did care for you.

And now you have a new,
Someone who looks very different from me,
But somehow, exactly the same from the inside, like I used to be.

Always looking for that special someone
To share my deepest secrets,
To share my fears and conquer them.
But I ask you, my Heart,
Do you really need that special someone?
Is it so necessary to find them,
Them, who will forget you and your existence
With a snap of their fingers.

I must tell you, my Heart,
I have and had so many around me
Who care for me, selflessly.
I have so many memories to cherish,
I have shared my victories
My joys and my sorrows, with them.
I’ll hold them close,
Even if the storms shakes the earth,
Even if they push me away.

There comes a time
A time when you keep thinking,
When you go over a thousand sentences
Just to spit out one.
You keep thinking about their outcomes
Things which are out of your hands.
Yet you pursue this madness,
The same madness which drains most of your energy,
Energy, that was meant for you.

A hope for carefree uttering of mind
Is it still there? Or is it long gone?
How long will I be a slave to this self inflicted suffocation?
I do not know.

As the day ends, I find myself looking
Looking for the things I've missed
Those missing pieces
The ones I feel will complete my story.
The one piece I found,
Made me genuinely smile.
Yes, it made me smile,
And the piece was my death.
Yes, my death.
Sudden and swift,
A relic from the past of what we call life.
Long forgotten will be my worries
The worries that haunt me,
That keep me up each night.
Soon my memories, my troubles
Of this not so cruel world will be gone,
Faded into a misty wind
Misty wind which erases all the hopes,
All the impossible possibilities with it.
Yes, I smiled when I figured the missing piece was death.

As the day ends, I find myself looking
Looking for the things I've missed
Those missing pieces
The ones I feel will complete my story.
The one piece I found,
Made me genuinely smile.
Yes, it made me smile,
And the piece was my death.
Yes, my death.
Sudden and swift,
A relic from the past of what we call life.
Long forgotten will be my worries
The worries that haunt me,
That keep me up each night.
Soon my memories, my troubles
Of this not so cruel world will be gone,
Faded into a misty wind
Misty wind which erases all the hopes,
All the impossible possibilities with it.
Yes, I smiled when I figured the missing piece was death.

The loneliness consumes,
Devours and eats my thoughts,
Even before they can take their first breath of life,
Even before they can become their true self.
Why do I feel this hollowness within me?
That lack of the person I can call mine.
I think the better question I should ask myself is,
Can I call myself mine?
Or am I just existing on other people's borrowed time?
Do I even know myself?
Do I even have the conviction to do something which will make me proud of myself?
I think you are asking the right questions.
It's not about being with someone,
It never is.
It's always about being with yourself, whatever that is.
Define yourself, work on it.
Maybe it's not something you like,
Then change. There is always a choice.
Just don't stop. Just Keep moving.
Because,
People come and go, and mostly go.
You have you. And you don't go anywhere without that you.