The elixir of life
Chased down my throat
With cheapened words
For your understanding

Chased down my throat
Like some bottom shelf burbon
I know I'll be recycling soon.

Yet-
Still I drink it
Still I say it
Knowing it's all coming back on me.
(One way or another )

I suppose in life, this is how I learn
But-
Do we ever learn?
(Don't think so my friend, just don't think so)

So I'll sit here
Drink my drink
Say my words
Saying
That we'll never learn

Cheers
to never learning again
Cheers
to never hearing your thoughts again

As I choke down these words
Chase them with spirits
Suffocate with the real hopes
Filled with lies
Of cheapened words
Just to satisfy your ego.

There's a lot more in being alive
Then walking and breathing
There's also knowing

Searching, and it may never stop
For if it stops then you simply have failed.
Purpose
Purpose reformed
For we cannot deliver performance once we stop to search
Is the search over?
Without search once purpose is found is the time to deliver our performance in lewd of getting the message.

Looking to
The mirrors reflection  
To find
What I've been searching for
All this time.

Wisdom lies deep behind our eyes as it brews in the soul.

I judge you not from
Your past
I expect nothing from
Your future
I accept you
For the now
I live
For the now
I judge only
For the now
Never to compare
The past or present
To my now.

His ears are bleeding
His throat on fire
From the lies trapped deep inside

The words so violent
with breath of delusion
And eyes of fog
Making it hard to see


The mind cannot  be free
Once beaten not to think

Like the soul
Hidden in the darkest shadow

Trapped for life
Confined in a corner of abuse

No remorse,  no regrets
His feet  murderous weapons
Stomping on others dreams
Leaving them, once he is done
Looking like a trampled flower garden.

With their roots torn
And beauty now hidden
He looks in the mirror

His razor like un groomed nails
Tare into his cheeks
As teats run from his eyes
Blood runs from his cheek

What have I done?
Who have I become?
I am unraveling
I've become undone.

The ground is damp,
My heart gone cold.
The sun don't  shine
Through the darkened clouds soul.
With fog filled eyes
And a near beaten heart.
My thoughts of you, grow further Each step, as we part.
The wind blows, to create a whirlwind of thoughts.
Questions to remain, forever,
To be answered in time - never.
For a new beginning,
With a vacant heart.
Moving on, alone,
For a brand new start.


My world has changed,
Yet my thoughts
Stayed  the same.
Evolution, revolution
-Round and round
Explain please, why did you choose me?
To live this life?
The question  - I scream
From the pain, built through the night.
Evolution,  revolution
-round and round
Disrupting  concerns,
Of your damaging behavior.
Like a prisoner, in his cell.
I'm trapped with you-
To live in your hell.
Evolution,  revolution
-round and round
Torment my nerves, strip them raw
Turn the rest of this world,
Against my every thought.
Evolution,  revolution
-round and round.

The day is dark as night
Once your heart grows cold

Your dreams, out of sight
wanting to reach, but feeling to old

The light that would once shine
Dims in the darkness,  
Trapped in my mind.

Never to escape,  
All these thoughts, left so far behind.

The darkness is the only one to show us the stars that we dream if one day reaching.
Our darkness helps us see the light in our future, the light we need to focus on to reach all that we dream.
So please do not interpret my darkness as morbid. When it's the most important thing I have to help me find serenity and peace through my minds dream.

I see everything behind you
I know all about your past
I know all you have gone through
For I am and have your back.

Hearing the thunder
Feeling its rain
Watching the lighting
Realising my pain.

Smell of rain
Cleanse my lungs
Wash away memories
Of who I was.

Wind shifting sky
Keeping closed, my eyes
Nothing more then dark to see
Letting nature come cleanse me.

Released is my soul
Open arms to grow
Understanding is my heart
For the two, to never part.

Father- look to the sun for the  answers my boy.
Son-why would I ask for answers from something I can only follow.
Father -because it is big and strong and can pave your road.
Son- my road is paved, paved of uncertainties and challenges which I openly accept.
Father- why would you not take the road we all chose for generations? Why must you disobey?
Son- I've seen all the damage caused by being followers, your once clean roads are now my bumpy travels. The abuse and misuse of generations have made a once easy choice almost unbearable. I chose to make my own mistakes,  on my chosen path, to learn and teach my generation and our future it is o.k. to think and live for "you". I will never condone a life in the sunshines shadow.

She wore a green dress
I asked her name,
She replied,  Eve
She reminded me a lot like Christmas.

Once the love has died.

The love I have, is a love to last
My heart will last, for the love I have.
My heart beats and strives
For the soul of you and I.
I see our radiant orbs
I feel our pulse
Rhythmic experience
Pulse to rhyme
My love now can live in life
And strive.

Once darkness falls
is only when the eyes are truly open
Look to the moon
See your face in its light
Have a prayer?
We'll sing it to nature tonight
Once darkness falls

Once darkness falls
Suns rays turn to moonlight
Warm summer breeze
Turns to a cool nights wind
Happy thoughts,
turn profound
Once darkness falls
Is when I'll be found.

The darker the sky
Deeper the lie
Summers sun can't hide
The heartache inside
Once darkness falls

Rain mixes with tears
To help cover the fears
Unknown to most
yet so familiar to me
Where one can run and truly be free.
Once darkness falls.

Night...as cold as the  shattered heart
Her soul..follows, keeping it hidden and living in the dark.

Once the sun use to glisten off her pale white skin.
Now she lives in the ally ways darkness.

My face is beautiful  (she says) reflecting in a pool of fresh spilt blood

Words
Money is ******
Melts down a wall
In the ambulances light

Bullets spray
silent words never heard

Her story read
in her Writing , on her walls
Of her home, on the streets
Where killers roam.

Swelling eyes of red
Running nose
Quivering lips

I will miss you.

Mist green seas
Sky of red
Mislead life
In side my head

Air so dense
Crushing my lungs
Wishing I were someone
I was all along

My head is spinning
My mind a race
Getting claustrophobic
In my own space

Wanting not knowing
Having yet stealing
Laughing as I cry
Sitting here grieving

Sky of read
Life mislead
Stuck with living
Inside my head

I see miles and miles of vibrant colors in blue.
across a still sea of unexplored possibilities.

I would travel that sea to get to you.
a path of still blue
blinding to some, the unknowing future may be

I would take the most treacherous of paths
just to say I am free

Once I got to you
I would truly understand
that all the obstacles I have hurdled
to get to you
have made me who I am.

Bringing together the vibrant possibilities of us two
now creating a new vision of blue.

I wrote my thoughts on this paper,
They're no good, just dreams, memories and hopes of brighter days.
This pen I hold helps me remember my goals and dreams, my life's belief.
I try to do good, to live life the best I can,
I try to be strong, and accept all of life's challenge,
The best I can.
All is all,
And all will be,
Roll this note,
Send it to sea.
My bottled hope,
Will float, and float
To be found perhaps,
But remember, I won't.

Eyes meet one more time
Soulful minds alive with love
Heartbeats thump like bass

Sadness from my eyes

Only God and fools take lives.
we may never know the reasons why,
To be brothers and sisters we must try.

Her heart strays
Alone for so long
Crying for love
In desperate puddles
Of unheard tears

Her shields are up
Protection against hate filled word predators
Humanity is un-heard of
When greed fills our thoughts
Saying pleasantries
Until her victims guard goes down.
Then-
Pounce for the ****
For another un-pronounced victory
Not caring for the amount of damage left behind.

Violence doesn't only show on skin
It also shows on bruised hearts
Ugliness doesn't only  lie in our brain
But, contaminates our bloods stream.
Carrying its infection through our entire body

Now-
No one can hear, no one can see
As her heart screams for love
In a hardened world
She calls her soul.

The wind blowing so strong that day
It violently tore the page of ideas
From my notebook.
Now they're just thoughts
Traveling through the sky
To be forgotten.

God brings us in the world as a new body
Our spirit may be old
But his terrain is new
Flesh is just the souls jacket
The mind its amplifier
Vocal chords its speaker
Heart its energy

Our soul is a traveler
It may travel for years even centuries
Never to be understood
Untill it finds the right mindset
To trust and call its own.

If you truly understand
You will see many roads
If you barely understand
They will all be closed.

I am a imperfect person
I have flaws, I am impolite at times
I am flawed in every definition of the word.
I have scars deep in my skin
From fighting and acting the ways I once did
I have scars from surgical problems and pain
I cover them with ink from a needles name.
I am just a poet, being wise or a sap
Dosen't matter much anymore put my story's in a sack.
Mix my words and my memories thoughts
Put together my poetic life
Being a poet is tough.
I won't lie, or let you down
I will write my life
Until
In my ink I drown.

It's not about what you've done.
It's about what you're doing.

The world - our window
Its people - its soul

All people - together
For our strength - to grow

Hearts - warm as sun
Oxygen as important - as the soul

Take my hand, we'll be the bees
Polenated with love
Spread with a sneeze

Like a wild flower in the snow
Any where- our love will grow

Making a land of all colors and blooms
Where we all live as one
Where being born is our only due.

You are my everything
He whispered
As she walked away

I've never been to me
What I've always been to you
I wish I could see the beauty
you see
I wish I had the strength
That you think I do
I once had - the love of your heart
The strength in my soul,
The vision in my mind.
Now I stare in the mirror,
Knowing I can never add up to these expectations - anymore.
The love in your heart,
Sees more then I can give,
More then I am worth.
What I have always been to you
I can never be to me.

The love I have for you
Is indescribable.
Your strength, your caring,  your being
You.
You are the one who brings me life
You are my whole.
The love I have for you
Is relentless.
Your beauty, your giving, your understanding
You.
You are my life
You are my heart
You are my soul
You are
My definition of love.

I am the night
I will wrap myself around you
and hold you
in darkened times

I am the night
don't be affraid of what you heard
for rumours
have caused both our definitions
to be turned

I think for a time my brain was rotting from all the poison and toxicity that had once surrounded me.
Now with my mind being healed it may clearly think.
My visions are now vivid, and all my once abuse I am able to face.
The more my body heals it feels as if I am peeling layers like pages from my mind.
Each layer being a story from my past. As I confront the storys truth it then leaves me and erases for good.
The memories flood to my mind, I need not try to think of them.
I give credit to my newly built mind and soul for letting me know it is okay to remember these things that hurt me one more time and to know now I'm strong enough to let these memories no longer be in my life.
Just because certain people were once in my life doesn't mean I need the anymore. I wish nothing on no one and only peace for myself.
My peace now lyes in my mind without the clutter and poison of the decades of abusive memories.
I let them go - freely
Never to be thought of again.
Now I am healed and stronger then ever to never be anyones punching bag again.

I learned to walk soft
Not to disturb the present
While speaking softly
Not to disturb my presence
I don't use filler words
And speak to my point
Not in anger - To scare
Not in greed - To gain
Not in question - to agree
Just in my own tone
And in my belief
I won't shout at you
So please, don't shout at me
For I will only block your voice
If only my one answer suites your question
Perhaps then you should go and ask another
For I am an expressive being with thoughts
Thoughts that very
And answers of more then one
To the many narrow minded believers
In which our society has become.