to love someone is to love with your whole heart,
to recognize their flaws and accept them otherwise,
to realize that a person is a perplexing mixture of good and bad
to love is to find compatibility between the incompatible
to love is not to just admire strength but tolerate weakness
there is no one that ‘deserves’ you more
for real love you can give to anyone
anyone willing to receive it

I don’t think it’s you
It’s this part of me that wants to be so deeply loved, regardless of how much it hurts
So that one day I could believe that I am more than enough.
I want you because you make me feel wanted but it’s not the kind that you feel sure of, it’s the kind that you have to remind yourself every single ******* day that’s it’ll be here, it’ll stay if you're good enough
But how much do you give to be enough?
When all you’ve ever done was be there, be here, believe that it’ll always be this good
But will it?
When will you see that this isn’t the kind of love you want
This isn’t the kind that’s underneath all the chaos, it’s what feeds all this chaos in your head
It’s what makes the pounding in your head louder than it needs to be
It’s the kind that feeds off what little love you have left for yourself
The constant reminder that this will never last because it’s you and you don’t deserve this
Or do you?

you had asked me once
"don't worry about it" I responded
knowing well you should be worried
for these lines that had contoured every inch of my arms had more to say

Tired of feeling numb, succumbing to what was never there.
Do you get tired of just having to exist in reality that is not your own?
Or is it the reality you’ve created you don't like?
Might it just be the motion of life continuing when you don't want to?
Whatever it may be it’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to feel restless.
Sleep it off
Cry it off
Do it for yourself
No one else