to love you at the end of the time,
to make sure you happy forever,
to make you my last lover ever.

how cruel i am,
how cruel you changed.

yet so far, so deep,
i lost, lost you, mostly lost everything,

its slowly breaks, into a hole deep scars,
left me your name and memories,

wondering, asking, begging,
can you come back and stay?

For stop chasing you,
For not always stay by your side,
For denying I love you so much,

For ingore the flowers you bought,
For stop dreaming the worlds is our,
For not enough times to spend together,
For just holds your arms when we walk,
For ingore when you talk,
For step back when I give you hope,
For never believe that we'll make it works,

For giving you a hope and run again,
For making things even worse,
For letting go the chances,

For no reason at all.


*Regrets for just for nothing.

You can talk about my talent,
How teribble I am with painting,
But you couldnt talk about my heart,
How I truly blessed to create such amazing piece.

When I paint,
I paint those all my heart,
Those calm sounds of wind,
Those texture of the square canvas,

Those flickering of brush
The colors was everywhere on the table,
Appreciate you never will,
Cause you never shows it at all.

A part of my heart left with that canvas,
Those square heart of canvas,
Combination of Pablo Picasso and Theo Van Doesburgh,
The line, shapes, red, blue and yellow combine it together.

I can't describe,
My memories of that painting,
Is fading. Is fading away.

Hoping, you never throw it away
Hoping you always looks at it,
everyday and every night.

Bring it back to me when you never need it again.

Actually, Im right there,
in your heart,
Im right there,
Standing in your line,
Right there, by your side,

My heart felt,
Insecure, and so much sadness,
and hope.

Been stuck by your humanity,
Pure, love and revenge.

I love you with no reason,
No reason at all.

There is this glimpse in my eyes,
When I scroll my timeline and I saw you,
There is love that left behind,
Shows that I was still in love with you.

You did left me,
Neither do I,
But your name always remain the same,
And I still keep missing you everyday.

I keep wondering,
Why I always have this feeling,
Are you felt the same,
Or am I the only one that feel this way?

Everytime I close my eyes,
I see your smile, I see those eyes,
Did you ever feel the same?

I always feel crazy,
Crazy in love with you.

I never move on. I never did.
Maybe because I never want it.

You should chase me that day my
lover. Save me, save me so I will never
ever feel pain again. How I try not to
care, how I try so hard to ignore.

You keep on coming sweetheart. No,
no, actually you never left. Save me,
save me so I can show you my love.
Beyond everything, I still in love.

My eyes burn, in pain. I miss when
you lend your shoulder next to me.
Save me, save me and tell me I have to
be strong and brave.

I miss you until I lost my words.
Until I lost my breathe.
Save me please save me.
So I can be with you tonight
And forever.

Scars that scare me,
I left it behind me,
Pouring all the memories in it,
So I wouldn't fell regret about it.

Its darker place I ever been,
Cherish wonderful day,
With tears through my face,
Tough mean brave,
Rough means deep,
I swallow all my pain.

Its never always okay,
Even you say you fine thank you,
How I good in lying,
To the smoke that hit my eyes,
Then I cry so hard,
Through all what I had done,
I still cant stand all by myself.

Today, is bright day,
Bright just on the outer,
Cant feel my heart in the inner,
Why I cant let all this go away?
Just one day one night, ya,
Just for today.
Because it should be wonderful day,
To me. Just for today.

Both pretending,
Never showing,
Both keeping,
Never giving.

I thought I can,
Be always by your side,
But actually I never will,
You actually can live without me.

Did all those memories just passed by?
Or it lingering in your head just like mine?
I never regrets met you that day,
I regrets why you never came back until today.

At first I thought I'm in love,
With your beautiful eyes and lies,
But then you didnt care at all,
Left me your heart and knife.

I wandering when I will forget about you,
You left me your memories just around corner of my mind,
I thought I might just erase it if I can,
But I forget, your name had been glued in my heart.

I might be so strong you see,
But no one knows whats my heart speaks.


; I lose you already and I will lose your memories someday. Try lose those memories till I lost anywhere.

Hearing the breathing
Seeing the dreaming
Create an imagination
Beyond the expectation

Last year
Lighten candle
Sweet muffins
Birthday's song
; Almost perfect

This year
Uncertain feeling
Untied bond
Sad songs
; *Forever bleed

People made stupid things,
Like running at the highway,
Although, everyone knows
; it is not for run.

You heard the crickets of the early eve
They lurk around the opening in two's and three's
Clementine told you not to move with the breeze
I'll take you down to places where we dare not speak

Make time change
Fill the empty space
Make it worth waiting
Fell the pain by running

I smile for three seconds
I got your attention do I?
I felt pressure in my heart
I make you thought about me did I?

Imagine, my heart
Beat faster than usual
Imagine, your heart
Still got me unusual

How do you do it?
Made my heart skipped a beat?

Rose bloom even in dawn
Never withered once in my heart
How I miss October so much
The time you first give a roses to a girl name I

I never wanted these to ever happen
Cause I know I really need you most of the time
How I miss October so much
I try to comfort that you will be the last of my life

You, crossed my mind everyday, every night
I, try ingored it everything and everytime,
How I miss October so much
Cause, this is the month I met you the one of my life

Everything moving too fast
Even faster in all the time I got
How I miss October so much
Cause everything change between us

Each time I tell myself to let it go
My heart don't ever want to try to
How I miss October so much
Even you never ever be mine

I try and try to moving on
Forget memories, also forget ours
How I miss October so much
Because I know I dissapointed you very hard

I keep dreaming about you in the darkness night
You never leave me all the time I got
How I miss October so much
Even you never want me in your life

How much I feel regrets for everything
Hoping all these things doesn't change much
How much I blended the beginning
Trying to comfort my heart, it will change more

I know it seem peaceful one time
Try knowing everything will solve that time
But the truth is there is no time
Then hopeless things I feel this time

I be so mean to my own world
Beginning can't change me at this ending
It will never be my world
And I should left and forget everything



Even the Beginning.

Each drops, each one
Its like the worse teardrops
Mixed with the symphony
And remixes melodies

Create the own version of ochestra
Flying bows everywhere
Flickering hand every beat
Up side down back every seconds

I almost forgetten
the part I most lost
Its never been
and I never want to lose

My heart kindda
Raindrops
Once rain ;
Its hard to stop

I cried too much lately
And I still cry now
My heart breaks into so many pieces
But you seem so **** heartless

What would happened if we still be together?
Would you ever treat me as your perfect lover?
You haunted me in my dream every night
Have you ever think of it tonight?

I regrets everyday about my hard complicated life
Why you confessed to me in the wrong time?
I been waiting the words from you in so many ways
Is it not enough love you prefered from me when we are away?

Everything I spoken seem so useless
Now you gone like, today and forever.

Being in love with you, the one of my life,
Every moments, every breathe, I feel it so much,
The most love that I could possibly fight so hard.

I never saw you came by,
Knocked this little door's heart of mine,
That time I knew you put others things a side,
Then, you put 110% your efforts to impress my heart.

I know its been moving too fast,
Unexpected things happened between us,
But I know, as long as I have you in my life,
Then I should not overthink anything else.