don’t try to act all ******* heroic
like i was a tragedy
like you knew me
like it’s affected you


i never knew anyone
and i was born with an empty room for a heart

i feel ******* disappointed

by
everyone

'it's so loud'
she screamed
over the silence
'everything keeps talking
and yelling
at me'

it's really quite too hard to leave the door open
when it's winter
and the frostbite comes nipping
you never know when
cold rains will blow
if you leave the door open

so please close the **** door
on the way out

how many chances has the ships given the ocean
before being relentlessly tossed to the coast
rocking back and forth,
splintering and breaking
the boat in half

how many chances has the ships given to the ocean
before being violently slammed in to rocks
water rushing through the cracks
spilling the sailors
to their depths

how many chances has the ships given to the ocean
to forgive, to promise not to hurt
yet the ships never learn,
and continue to sail

heavy footsteps
his hot breath
keeps me frozen

i grab his wrist
but i'm a feather
and he's a beast
and he pushes against my collarbone


the lamb cries
and the wolf is done his hunt

him: Have you ever been with a girl?

No. I've thought about kissing her a thousand times. She had hair like cotton candy and her voice was like a nightingale. Whenever I was sad, she'd sing me songs and put my name instead. Her skin was so pale like snow and she hated the veins on her eyelids, the ones that looked like lightning crashing. I counted her freckles every night before I went to bed. She was the love of my life and she loved me unconditionally for Gods knows what reasons. And then I messed it up and left, because I got scared. When I begged for her back, she said no.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She had a narrow waist and long brown eyelashes. I kissed them before as she slept. She felt warm against me and I traced the outline of the ink on her back, the bouquet of flowers. And when she got high, I put her to bed and got drunk by myself. We ****** until morning and we watched the sunrise together, over the city skyline. She fed me wild strawberries and we shared the same cup of tea together. When I woke up, she was gone.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. I met her in a club and I kissed her outside a supermarket. She devoted herself to me. Called me. Adored me. And I, selfishly, didn't give a single ****. I never responded and if I did, I was far away. My mind was never on her. When I finally apologized, she never texted me back. She said I wasn't her usual type and though I didn't say it out loud, I agreed.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She kissed me on the subway and gave me flowers. When I drank too much, she cleaned up after me and put me to bed. She still kissed me after. She was wild. Reckless. Looking for trouble and I ignored it. I adored every part of her. One day, she whispered I Love You to me when she was drunk. She never mentioned it again. Her eyes darkened over time and I came home to find only someone who looked like her. When she left, I wrote poems about her and burned myself. I got drunk every night alone. I continually slept on the bench in the park, just to be somewhere where we hadn't been. My heart was breaking and she kept smiling.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

me: Yes.

him: That's hot.