When I took in
One
Deep
Breath
I felt nothing at all.

ODB made my mouth muscles cramp.
I had hiccups
All night.
I couldn’t breathe. Accept I could.

One. Deep. Breath.
Is everything I love insignificant and irrelevant after
One deep breath?

The mind spins won’t
Stop
Unless you give them A
Reason to.

I can’t hear
You.

Bird
Fly so far and so fast
So that when you look back,
You can't see me.

Fish
Swim so deep, and and so away
That you're lost,
And you'll keep moving
Forward anyway.

You
Will fall asleep and
Forget
Every moment we've had.

I am the shadows around
and in the foreground.
I will be found
When you love me.

You love me?
Or did I mistake our heart for
Mine.

Mine?

And in the end,
The sun went down.
We never walked off hand in hand in hand,
We never moved.
Sitting with out legs glowing in the fading light.
Hearts never quickened,
They remained steady and reliable.
We, all of us, remained
Just as we always were.
Elbows digging into the arms of our chairs.
Words fall heavy at our feet,
Laughter dances into the sky.
Our breaths steady and reliable.
We tore the elephant apart
And ate it whole.
We didn’t need company, didn’t want it.
And in the end
I didn’t have to love her.
˙oʇ ʎddɐɥ sɐʍ I ʇnq

Can one swim forever
In these thunderous waves?
Can one balance on a
Cloud, upside down and waiting?

Is the water rising or am I
Falling
Slowly?

Are these impacts making me heavier?
Each breath of no air
Sends me reeling in madness. Sitting in the darkness
Where I can’t see my company and I can’t feel their
Sympathy.

Do I have gills that will let me
Drown my lungs with salty
Sorrows? Gulping the world forever.
Standing on one foot, 5 years above
You. Beyond you.

Will I be a whale, beached and
At their every mercy?
Or will I float forever?

It started with a series of sighs
And one slow blink.
It ended in clouds of emotion
Building in my head
Until one final bang. One loud sound in the endless
Silence.

It's identified as small indents
In my very matter. Whether I
Matter or not.
My busy brain bleeds
Overwhelmingly.
My fragile fingers do not
Find
What I'm looking for.

The Realization is
Nothing short of
An invasion of privacy.

The potholes in the roads of my
Mind
Are footprints.

Your footprints.

Your skin is the walls and
Your voice builds halls
That never end.

You remember the days when there were ways
Around. People around.
You remember the things, those important things,
All piled on top of each other.

You can’t smell the garden you planted.
You can’t read the book you’re writing.
You can’t hear your laughter, after.

The dust fell like a blanket
And you were too scared to move.
One crack, and you’ll never go
Back. Never leave as you watch the
Leaves dancing.
As you watch them all running.

Your room is the garbage can
Of your life.
But at least it’s not empty.

A day, a night, a frightening fall.
A cry, a fight, a scream too small.
A beacon, a light, a stranger’s call.
A crack, a fright, a sound down the hall.
A scratch, a bite, a rip in a shawl.
A child, a kite, a distance too tall.
A breath, a height, a path to crawl.
A search, a sight, a protocol.
A will, a might, and yet you’ll still lose it all.