I saw this article
It screamed
Leah Shipman, Ex-Teacher, Marries North Carolina Student She Was Accused Of Having *** With

I read it and now I am furious
I am sick
I am disgusted

She had *** with him when he was 15
She gets married to him Yay for them
But for me

I am prohibited
Not allowed
Restricted from marrying the guy  I want

Good Job Society
Good Job North Carolina
Good Job

I have never been more afraid of the dark than now.
All the emptyness that occupied what should have been light
made me realize that I myself am empty and filled with foolishness, filled to the brim with nothing but foolishness.

Late at night when all are asleep
I lay in the bed and the thought of you knocks on my door.
Should I open and let my imagination fill in the void?
Let your invisible arms wrap around me?
Let your fingers play with my hair as you breathe into my neck?
Or should I not bother at all and let you keep knocking?
Let you get tired of knocking at my door that I refuse to open because letting you in is like letting the bugs in?
Let the thought of you float in the air but not bother to reach out and grab hold of it?
Let myself be lonely because I know that in reality this would never happen?

All these questions I don't have time to think about
Because I already opened the door.
The impulsive and lonely part of me already took the initiative and let the thought of you in.
I snuggle upon your chest and take in your cologne.
I hug you and bury my nose onto your neck.
I begin kissing you and letting my instinct take over I whisper your name.
I feel you. Feel your presence. But I also feel the air.

The memory of you is the ripples that always echo.

Jack Frost nibbles on my ears, on my fingers, on my nose
I sheepishly cover what I can except my nose.
He gets angry, cold even, and resorts to chewing and gnawing what's exposed.

I can't keep on with him trying to harm me. I must hide.
There is a room to which I walk in so I can hide.
But Jack the stealthy being seep through the cracks, made it inside.

There is no where to run.

He creeps closer, closer still and as his presence becomes more evident my body beings to shake.
But not in fear, for I have no fear of Mr.Frost, but because he has that effect on everybody.
His mere presence can induce anybody's body to shiver in his wake.
He makes you want to cover yourself with the clothes on your back to protect yourself from his bitter iciness.

That is  Jack Frost's job.

Enemy in sight and I crouch behind the tree.
Sweat rolls from my forehead onto my cheek.
There is a thumping in my ear and I realize that it's the blood being pushed quickly by my heart.

I whisper to my sweet Roger
He is ready.
The Enemy is in sight.
Does he know that his life is about to end.
That each breath is closer to death.
That each second that goes by is a second closer to death.

I **** Roger and he clicks.

The enemy stops all movement, stops all vibrations.
I have a shot.

I take it.

The shot echos throughout woods.

He is dead.

Finally
Ignoring
Something
Happened for me to forget.

The audience sits taking in the last scene of the show.
The strain of the chairs echoed.
I guess that's it.
We ran a great show.
You were a great cast member.
Tonight is the beginning of the end.
Tomorrow, you will be on Broadway
And I will sit and write screenplays instead of performing.

The wind shreds at the tattered remains of his heart
And steals the pieces, scattering them every which way.
What's suppose to be the agonizing perception of being in pain
is the perception of relief.
No longer will tears hit the the broken remnants to play the somber tune of heart break.
No longer will words be able to salt his exposed arteries.
No longer will he feel the silence dance around him getting closer and closer when he is alone.
For not bearing a heart
leaves no heart to bear scars
and perceive pain

Love is nothing but a word
It doesn't feed you in the time of hunger
It doesn't heal a wound once you get cut
It doesn't hold you when you need holding
But, who loves you does

Who loves you will be there when you need to feed your heart
Who loves you will kiss the wound and tell you it will be better
Who loves you will hold you untill you fall alsleep in their arms
Their name is a word worth saying
Worth loving with every ounce you can give
Worth saying it is more than a word

Left with nothing save a memory folded neatly in my pocket
Only this and nothing more.
Very slowly I take it out and feel the ruff edges and soft sides.
Every now and then I open it to see the rose that is drawn inside.

Left with nothing but a token of what could have been.
Only this and nothing more.
Volumes are spoken on this paper with every curve
Every line drawn.

Let it, I let it fill my heart with wanting and longing, let it shower me with the love I have
Only to feel my heart heavy with all the feelings I don't want but want.
Vexing this is, I don't understand it.
Every Time I see you I hold it close to me.

I don't mean to hurt people
But I end up doing it anyway
One way or another.

I don't mean to be how I am
I try everyday to better myself
But it seems what I am slips through the cracks.

I guess this is an apology
for hurting the people I do.
For being how I am when the
Person I am is a selfish *******.

I am sorry.

She isn't my sister,
the girl from Ohio.
Biologically we are no kin.
But her blood smeared against asphalt
has shimmering dots
revealing that
We are family.

This is to her and others like her.
The ones from before
and the ones after.

My sister will never hear these words
But as long as its known

I love her.
Even if the world wasn't ready for her.

“Are you the boy? Or, Are you the girl?”
Society has a notion that being gay
(In the sense of the new translation of the word)
One must be the “boy” while the other the “girl”
As if masculinity cannot be share by both parties as well femininity.
But in the case of myself
In truth a girl will create a wedge in the relationship if not terminate it
For I rather, (and I hope he agrees), there be two guys.

I thought I was done
but love aint done with my yet
when is it ending?

Making a living they sell knick knacks
While others sell fruit for snacks.
They come to you wanting the chance
to make you ,once you leave, money lack.

And I have kept the drawn rose
in a book i barely open.
But today marks a year since its creation
so i opened the book and light revealed the drawn rose.
with a swift gesture i closed the book.
A year it has been but why does it still hurt?

Let us
Let us play with your look
Let us love and sing and wonder
Let us reason ministries
Let us go then you and I

Sometimes there are still faint whispers of love
Attached to a name
No matter how hard you try not to hear.

The time I thought I had left
Skipped in front of me, blue raspberries
and went without a word.

With your head rested upon the pillow
I hear the thoughts you never tell.

With your chest exposed to the cool night air
I hear the secrets kept in your heartshell.

With your feet slightly uncovered
I see where you been.

With your lips partly opened
I hear his name.

I am leaving in the morning before you wake up
and make the coffee.

I am leaving before the kiss that should leave me grinning
as I leave for work.

I am leaving before you go out again.

Thank you sleepless night
for showing me the truth.

Some days I just want to take my life and cut the cords that connect me to the world.
Rip my roots from the ground and shake off every memory that makes me.
Some days I just want to let my breath be the last breath and slowly drift in the wind to be carried to someplace that is better than where I am.
Some days my head whats to explode but I take that pain and shift it to my heart and let it explode there; its already been destroyed by the bombs every one kept sending.
Some days my tears are not enough to fill the hole in my already broken heart and they just slip on my through the cracks.
Some days my smiles cant cover the frowns and the paint just falls off.
Some days I want to be left alone so I can let the silence be my drugs to get me to my high.
Some days I rather have a laugh in my pocket than in the back of my throat.
Some days I don't know what I want.

Flames scorch my heart.
I hear the crackles and smell the smoke
Remember when you told me that I was the only one?
Ever think of what I would do?

Forgive? There is no forgiveness to give.
I can’t believe you let me believe in truth that was a burning lie.
Remember when you held my hand, when you confessed your love for me?
Ever think of what I would say?

Feel the intensity? I do
I can feel myself being consumed by what blazes inside
Remember when I told you that I loved you and wanted only you?
Ever wondered how fast love burns out?

With everything that has happened are you still on your feet though they ache from the miles ran?
Are you still looking up with the fire in your eyes though the tears fall and strike the ground, marking your struggles?
Are you still inhaling the air though you want to rip your lungs out, suffocate on nothing, and just wither to nothing?
If you are then you are strong.
Stronger with every mile, tear, and breath.
You are strong.

May I use my uncertainty of my future as my eating utensil? I can okay.
Family problems sprinkled on top of my mom's non acceptance.
Anthony leaving as a desert
and my feelings in a cup full of ice to cool them off so I can drink them before some notices how I really feel.    
Thank you

The hills, a chain of ups and downs, touch the sky
While the clouds go about their business.
The water, without taste, runs out and into the jugs
while the birds talk amongest themselves.
I watch the hills once more and have that memory of water without taste in my mind.
While the sun goes down just a tad bit.

Mama , the weather outside speaks hunger.
The air whispers in syllabic groans
as it holds my bloated stomach.
I've seen the sun with cheeks full of food
but it wastes the food  by ejecting globs at my face
whenever I gaze upon it.
Perhaps the air can carry me through this winter.
Perhaps I can go to sleep.

“Are you the boy? Or, Are you the girl?”
Society gets this idea that being gay
One has to be the ‘Boy” while the other the “girl”
But in truth one cannot be the girl.
For there are two guys.

My heart has travled a thousand miles.
A thousand words. A thousand Feelings.
Never really tiring as it travels further into the unknown.

And each day it feels the heat.
And each night it feels the loneliness.
And each day it feels complete.
And each night it feels emptyness.

My heart has travled a thousand miles.
A thousand words. A thousand Feelings.
Never really tiring as it travels further into the unknown.

I am a fugitive.
my thoughts are my crimes.
Silence is my punishment.

When I shake my head I can hear it swish and I know I let some out but there is still more
My hands are not yet cramping, are not yet begging to be rested
I must keep on going until I shake my head and it makes no sound.

Some say that every minute is too much
Some say everyday is too much
But I say it's not enough
it's better to have too much then not having any at all

So I keep on writing whatever comes to mind
I keep penning love poems
I keep typing acrostics

You can never have too much

With the tears barely dry
with the pain barely gone
you say
Forgive me.

With my words all tangled.
With my mind still turning
You say
Forgive me.

But I can't forgive you
Not after this.

I finger paint the craters of the moon with hints of your smile. Whoever said to start counting sheep can never fathom the importance of keeping track of the times your name is exhaled. I can never play connect the dots with the stars for I will only spell yours right next to the wishing star. I pretend the universe is paper and fold it. I am closer to you than ever before but the stars are crossed.

The pillow became you and the blankets your arms.
I slept with the safe feeling you get once you are kept away from harm.
But then it was time to wake and stop dreaming about you
Face the reality that you are not love true.

Tonight the pillow will once again  be you
and the blankets my sanctuary
as your arms stroke my heart and keep me warm.
In the morning  
The pillow will be pillow
blankets dead weight that smother me
and they cycle will repeat
once I go to bed.
Again.
and Again
And Again.

If you were to leave today,
Pack my love in your suitcase
make some room and tuck it nicely so it won't wrinkle

If you were to leave today,
Don't say good bye to me
But instead say I  will see you later
Because the idea of you leaving for good
Makes me want to cry

If you were to leave today,
Leave slowly and keeping looking back
So I know you yourself didn't want to go

if you were to leave today
I would want you to know that I would miss you terribly
I would be the bird who's wings got clipped
The dog without his bone
I would want you to know I will never forget you
If you were to leave today

You were right
When you kissed my arm
My blood pressure shot up
leaving me behind to try
and avoid your eyes.

Considering you a fallacy is a hollowness in my chest
a bent-out percussion instrument, it's quality won't be the best.

This is to my followers and the likers
Y'all are the ones who keep me going
keep me moving
Keep me glowing

Y'all are the ones who leave me hopeful
Leave me laughing
Leave me boastful

Y'all are the ones who make me smile
make me chuckle
Make my time worth while

So Thanks, Thank you all
For giving me support
For giving me likes
If I met y'all I  Would assort
with y'all

So thanks again
my followers and likers

Let the ignorance
be the repeated subject
through out history.

No one bothers to
Look through all the pages
Go through the chapters

To see that we have
Done this time and time again
Time and time again.

However long it's between you and me I will always love you
Of the times we spent together, I chose all of the them to represent you and me
Let's hold each other, you hold me and I hold you
Don't ever let me go and if you have to just let me down easy

Most of the time I think of you just holding me of us just resting together
Every moment spent is a moment I love to the extent I want you to hold me and never let me go

At night, the Cool night,
The solitary night
I wait for you.
The crickets mutter
and the wind plays amongest the leaves.

At night, the cool night,
The lonesome night
I wait for you.
The stars send hidden codes
and the moon, the luminous moon
talks slowly.

At night, the cool night,
The confided to myself night
I wait for you.
The creatures do not stir
For they hear a sound so foregin
The clouds protect the stars and the moon
Clouding what they might see.

I catch my breath and
my lungs cool over.
"Its me" you say
Its you I say
At night, the warm night
The acompained with my love night
I run away with you.

Never have I ever thought that you would be gone.
The notion of you leaving me didn't enter my thoughts because it was never welcomed.
You were never going to leave me. You leaving me is like the Sun leaving the Earth to be blanketed by space. It was just never going to happen
Until It did.

Once it did, I was at lost for words.
It was as if i was left to be blanketed by space.
It was as if a part of me was torn from my soul
Once it did, I was lonely.

All that I have left are the memories that we both share.
The laughter, the tears, the I wish you were my sibling,
I visit each memory like an old friend and have a cup of coffee with him.
I relished the fact that I could still hear your laughter in the corners of my mind.
I don't regret a minute, a second, a millisecond of the time we had together
And I hope you don't either.

Body

When the days seem to gray
As clouds rolled in over head
I let all escape except the thought of you

You are the sunshine that fights through the cold clouds
You are the warmth that makes me smile
You are in my mind

Just the thought of you makes my flowers
turn from brittle thirsty plants
To thriving, blooming vegetation

The thought of you is all I need to turn a day of hardship
To a day of happiness

I am paper.
You, scissors.
And you shape me
like a snowflake
Perfect,
Symmetrical
but
one thing
you forgot
to shape
was
my
inconsistency.

I am paper
you, scissors
and
you
shear
off
my unpolished
bent
"this is how i am"
edges

Do they make you uncomfortable?

Where do the scraps go?

Why do I have to be
a perfect snowflake?

How would you like to be paper today?

I heard them songs you's been singin'
Them low time lonely kinda blues
I heard them songs you's been singin'
As you've been tuggin on them shoes
It ain't no problem to have them low time blues
Only, make sure to tug em right them holey worn shoes.

Now, how comes ya hollerin' 'bout someone done done you wrong?
Just take all them feelings in ya heart and turn them into song.
How comes ya writin lyrics with voodoo curses to cut like knives?
Just wish 'em a blessed day and go on with ya life.

I heard them songs ya been singin
and I says time to change up the tune.
I heard them songs ya been singin
You low time lonely kinda blues.

And life just goes on
But hearts that are anchored deep
Can never move on.

As I looked upon the mirror and noticed its mimicking, I found a splotch of dirt where a shirt pocket should have been.
I dabbed a cloth in suds, I'm told its substance is the best
but no amount of vigorous scrubbing
could have removed the splotch.

A memory
was planted in the soil.
The memory died.
I sheared off the roots.

Some say the United States is comming to its end.
With all the legal issues becoimg the norm
Mary Jane
Same-*** marriage
Is it coming to an end?