Dear God,

When you were making love to the idea of
Creating man, did the ******  break?
Thus letting little Steves run amok
inside the ****** of the world

Do you acknowledge their existence but since you already made it clear "effeminates" won't inherit the kingdom you refuse to pay child support?

Or

Do you await the day when
the world will shut the hell up with her constant
attacks, shaming Steves into thoughts of "must change to please my father" so you can hold them one good time and tell 'em " I don't give a rat's *** what your mama says"
Your My flesh and blood
I love you

Sincerely
A Steve

And then the silence crept in
looking around to make sure it wouldn't be disturbed
But it wouldn't for awkwardness sat in the room with us
enjoying our nervous stares and movement.

But then there wasn't anything left to say.
All that could be said was said
while the words that were said before hand drifted away.

I thought I was done
but love aint done with my yet
when is it ending?

And I have kept the drawn rose
in a book i barely open.
But today marks a year since its creation
so i opened the book and light revealed the drawn rose.
with a swift gesture i closed the book.
A year it has been but why does it still hurt?

The world is a painting.
We are merely blots of ink.

I don't mean to hurt people
But I end up doing it anyway
One way or another.

I don't mean to be how I am
I try everyday to better myself
But it seems what I am slips through the cracks.

I guess this is an apology
for hurting the people I do.
For being how I am when the
Person I am is a selfish *******.

I am sorry.

I can't breathe.
Words flood my lungs.
I can't brea-
(dead)

Guarded I am now for there is an empty presence surrounding me
      It whispers in my ear. Grabs the memories and scatters them all around.
Hours it wasn't before this presence manifested before me.
       It walks towards me with a smile, with open arms, with a nudge
Only to dissipate, leaving a sadness to cover me as it's residue
        Leaving me to head to the restroom
           To get in a stall
                   To close my eyes and cry
Sometimes when the ones we love leave,  a part of them stays to remind us
           To torture us
                To love us
To make their memory survive but do they know how much it hurts to know that
        the  Presence will always remain but never the real person?

Sometimes there are still faint whispers of love
Attached to a name
No matter how hard you try not to hear.

“Are you the boy? Or, Are you the girl?”
Society has a notion that being gay
(In the sense of the new translation of the word)
One must be the “boy” while the other the “girl”
As if masculinity cannot be share by both parties as well femininity.
But in the case of myself
In truth a girl will create a wedge in the relationship if not terminate it
For I rather, (and I hope he agrees), there be two guys.

Love is nothing but a word
It doesn't feed you in the time of hunger
It doesn't heal a wound once you get cut
It doesn't hold you when you need holding
But, who loves you does

Who loves you will be there when you need to feed your heart
Who loves you will kiss the wound and tell you it will be better
Who loves you will hold you untill you fall alsleep in their arms
Their name is a word worth saying
Worth loving with every ounce you can give
Worth saying it is more than a word

Jack Frost nibbles on my ears, on my fingers, on my nose
I sheepishly cover what I can except my nose.
He gets angry, cold even, and resorts to chewing and gnawing what's exposed.

I can't keep on with him trying to harm me. I must hide.
There is a room to which I walk in so I can hide.
But Jack the stealthy being seep through the cracks, made it inside.

There is no where to run.

He creeps closer, closer still and as his presence becomes more evident my body beings to shake.
But not in fear, for I have no fear of Mr.Frost, but because he has that effect on everybody.
His mere presence can induce anybody's body to shiver in his wake.
He makes you want to cover yourself with the clothes on your back to protect yourself from his bitter iciness.

That is  Jack Frost's job.

Making a living they sell knick knacks
While others sell fruit for snacks.
They come to you wanting the chance
to make you ,once you leave, money lack.

May I use my uncertainty of my future as my eating utensil? I can okay.
Family problems sprinkled on top of my mom's non acceptance.
Anthony leaving as a desert
and my feelings in a cup full of ice to cool them off so I can drink them before some notices how I really feel.    
Thank you

Tear here, and tear there
Rip here, rip there
Keep going until you can't
Then throw those lies down the drain

Cry here, and cry there
Sniffle here and sniffle there
Just wipe the tears till you dry
He can't cause no more pain

Smile here, and smile there
Laugh here and laugh there
Keep on going don't look back
You are done with that game

You are done with the lies
and watch them as the go down the drain

With the tears barely dry
with the pain barely gone
you say
Forgive me.

With my words all tangled.
With my mind still turning
You say
Forgive me.

But I can't forgive you
Not after this.

Flames scorch my heart.
I hear the crackles and smell the smoke
Remember when you told me that I was the only one?
Ever think of what I would do?

Forgive? There is no forgiveness to give.
I can’t believe you let me believe in truth that was a burning lie.
Remember when you held my hand, when you confessed your love for me?
Ever think of what I would say?

Feel the intensity? I do
I can feel myself being consumed by what blazes inside
Remember when I told you that I loved you and wanted only you?
Ever wondered how fast love burns out?

You were right
When you kissed my arm
My blood pressure shot up
leaving me behind to try
and avoid your eyes.

Let the ignorance
be the repeated subject
through out history.

No one bothers to
Look through all the pages
Go through the chapters

To see that we have
Done this time and time again
Time and time again.

The pillow became you and the blankets your arms.
I slept with the safe feeling you get once you are kept away from harm.
But then it was time to wake and stop dreaming about you
Face the reality that you are not love true.

Tonight the pillow will once again  be you
and the blankets my sanctuary
as your arms stroke my heart and keep me warm.
In the morning  
The pillow will be pillow
blankets dead weight that smother me
and they cycle will repeat
once I go to bed.
Again.
and Again
And Again.

Never have I ever thought that you would be gone.
The notion of you leaving me didn't enter my thoughts because it was never welcomed.
You were never going to leave me. You leaving me is like the Sun leaving the Earth to be blanketed by space. It was just never going to happen
Until It did.

Once it did, I was at lost for words.
It was as if i was left to be blanketed by space.
It was as if a part of me was torn from my soul
Once it did, I was lonely.

All that I have left are the memories that we both share.
The laughter, the tears, the I wish you were my sibling,
I visit each memory like an old friend and have a cup of coffee with him.
I relished the fact that I could still hear your laughter in the corners of my mind.
I don't regret a minute, a second, a millisecond of the time we had together
And I hope you don't either.

"love is a battlefield" they say
But they fail to mention that it is a blood bath of a war
They are careless to tell that in this war
Not only is your heart broken but you mind and your spirit also

They don't tell you about the hole that is left
The scar that has to be worn as a reminder of a battle lost
Or when two fight for the same prize
One is happy and wears the crown with triumph and pride
While the other is left to clean up the mess
The broken remnants of their heart
No all they say is "love is a battlefield"

You have to find out by yourself
That love is a war fought with handgrenades and missles
Fought with poisnious gases and deadly two-face spies
Love is a war fought fire with fire

They don't say that one might never be happy again
They don't say that one might feel as if life is over
No, all they say is "life is a battlefield."
The rest you must learn on your own.

However long it's between you and me I will always love you
Of the times we spent together, I chose all of the them to represent you and me
Let's hold each other, you hold me and I hold you
Don't ever let me go and if you have to just let me down easy

Most of the time I think of you just holding me of us just resting together
Every moment spent is a moment I love to the extent I want you to hold me and never let me go

“Are you the boy? Or, Are you the girl?”
Society gets this idea that being gay
One has to be the ‘Boy” while the other the “girl”
But in truth one cannot be the girl.
For there are two guys.

I finger paint the craters of the moon with hints of your smile. Whoever said to start counting sheep can never fathom the importance of keeping track of the times your name is exhaled. I can never play connect the dots with the stars for I will only spell yours right next to the wishing star. I pretend the universe is paper and fold it. I am closer to you than ever before but the stars are crossed.

If you were to leave today,
Pack my love in your suitcase
make some room and tuck it nicely so it won't wrinkle

If you were to leave today,
Don't say good bye to me
But instead say I  will see you later
Because the idea of you leaving for good
Makes me want to cry

If you were to leave today,
Leave slowly and keeping looking back
So I know you yourself didn't want to go

if you were to leave today
I would want you to know that I would miss you terribly
I would be the bird who's wings got clipped
The dog without his bone
I would want you to know I will never forget you
If you were to leave today

With your head rested upon the pillow
I hear the thoughts you never tell.

With your chest exposed to the cool night air
I hear the secrets kept in your heartshell.

With your feet slightly uncovered
I see where you been.

With your lips partly opened
I hear his name.

I am leaving in the morning before you wake up
and make the coffee.

I am leaving before the kiss that should leave me grinning
as I leave for work.

I am leaving before you go out again.

Thank you sleepless night
for showing me the truth.

Some say the United States is comming to its end.
With all the legal issues becoimg the norm
Mary Jane
Same-*** marriage
Is it coming to an end?

Let us
Let us play with your look
Let us love and sing and wonder
Let us reason ministries
Let us go then you and I

There will be the emotion of agony
as his steps that increase the distance
Jag their way down my heart  and hers.

There will be tears flooding our hearts
as his words that once were always there
become whispers lost on the wind.

There grief will stifle our voices
as the memories we have
are what we go to in mornings, afternoons, and nights
when he's no longer here.

I was taught many, a many lessons ago
To fall in love with the first one I meet.
To obey the orders and not question the theme.
To follow the Simon and follow my dreams.

I was taught many, a many realities ago
To lock my heart for the one with the key.  
To break the rules when arise a need.
To be the Simon with achievable deeds.

When the days seem to gray
As clouds rolled in over head
I let all escape except the thought of you

You are the sunshine that fights through the cold clouds
You are the warmth that makes me smile
You are in my mind

Just the thought of you makes my flowers
turn from brittle thirsty plants
To thriving, blooming vegetation

The thought of you is all I need to turn a day of hardship
To a day of happiness

She isn't my sister,
the girl from Ohio.
Biologically we are no kin.
But her blood smeared against asphalt
has shimmering dots
revealing that
We are family.

This is to her and others like her.
The ones from before
and the ones after.

My sister will never hear these words
But as long as its known

I love her.
Even if the world wasn't ready for her.

The audience sits taking in the last scene of the show.
The strain of the chairs echoed.
I guess that's it.
We ran a great show.
You were a great cast member.
Tonight is the beginning of the end.
Tomorrow, you will be on Broadway
And I will sit and write screenplays instead of performing.

Some days I just want to take my life and cut the cords that connect me to the world.
Rip my roots from the ground and shake off every memory that makes me.
Some days I just want to let my breath be the last breath and slowly drift in the wind to be carried to someplace that is better than where I am.
Some days my head whats to explode but I take that pain and shift it to my heart and let it explode there; its already been destroyed by the bombs every one kept sending.
Some days my tears are not enough to fill the hole in my already broken heart and they just slip on my through the cracks.
Some days my smiles cant cover the frowns and the paint just falls off.
Some days I want to be left alone so I can let the silence be my drugs to get me to my high.
Some days I rather have a laugh in my pocket than in the back of my throat.
Some days I don't know what I want.

A memory
was planted in the soil.
The memory died.
I sheared off the roots.

The morning dogs whine about being let out
but I am too lost in my dreams to even care.
Hairspray and Vampires **** play on the TV
but remnants of my dream are what I see.

Lost in eyes that chill me over
Lost in the ice covered sea.
Lost in a dream state that let's me be
in an embrace as I rest on he.

The moon was surrounded by it's servants
scattered every which way.
Some stayed stationary as to protect it
others rushed by to chase some unseen enemy.

The hills, a chain of ups and downs, touch the sky
While the clouds go about their business.
The water, without taste, runs out and into the jugs
while the birds talk amongest themselves.
I watch the hills once more and have that memory of water without taste in my mind.
While the sun goes down just a tad bit.

With everything that has happened are you still on your feet though they ache from the miles ran?
Are you still looking up with the fire in your eyes though the tears fall and strike the ground, marking your struggles?
Are you still inhaling the air though you want to rip your lungs out, suffocate on nothing, and just wither to nothing?
If you are then you are strong.
Stronger with every mile, tear, and breath.
You are strong.

You took your G-O-O-D B-Y-E
Flung it at my heart and now its shattering.
What falls is the shards of my heart cutting the arteries.
While my endless tears cause my internal bleeding.
And while you left your delivery, with unintended cruelty, I stood there suffocating
Slowly drowning
Slowing dying
Anthony you killed me with Goodbye.

Body

What was it about you?
Off in my mind dreaming that i would have you
What was i thinking?

Whatever it was it's gone now
Off to some distant guy who will crush on you
Wow, thats all i can say just WOW

This is to my followers and the likers
Y'all are the ones who keep me going
keep me moving
Keep me glowing

Y'all are the ones who leave me hopeful
Leave me laughing
Leave me boastful

Y'all are the ones who make me smile
make me chuckle
Make my time worth while

So Thanks, Thank you all
For giving me support
For giving me likes
If I met y'all I  Would assort
with y'all

So thanks again
my followers and likers

How can you look at me
   With those cool ocean eyes?
Whenever you do
   It hits me every time.
I get lost in your seas
   With unrequited waves
hitting me
drowning me
There's no way to save
   No way to save
There's no way to save
It's this heart's demise
It hits me every time
Those cool ocean eyes.

I am paper.
You, scissors.
And you shape me
like a snowflake
Perfect,
Symmetrical
but
one thing
you forgot
to shape
was
my
inconsistency.

I am paper
you, scissors
and
you
shear
off
my unpolished
bent
"this is how i am"
edges

Do they make you uncomfortable?

Where do the scraps go?

Why do I have to be
a perfect snowflake?

How would you like to be paper today?

I am a fugitive.
my thoughts are my crimes.
Silence is my punishment.

Do you remember what you have said?
I do for your words dance in my head.
The lights they illuminate your heart
You're distant but I known it from the start.

Won't you take my hand and let the fire burn?
Hold me close with no concern
of what the others have to say
Will you Save Me that Dance today?

I glide 'cross the unrequited shores
Tears crash on the open floor
Emotions drown my train of thoughts
But here you come my breath is caught.

Won't you take my hand and let the fire burn?
Hold me close with no concern
of what the others have to say
Won't you Save Me that Dance today?

Darlin' I have waited with misery coursing through my veins
I have breathed a hundred doubts and exhaled pain
But here you are long at last
Darlin' I implore you save me that Dance today.

At night, the Cool night,
The solitary night
I wait for you.
The crickets mutter
and the wind plays amongest the leaves.

At night, the cool night,
The lonesome night
I wait for you.
The stars send hidden codes
and the moon, the luminous moon
talks slowly.

At night, the cool night,
The confided to myself night
I wait for you.
The creatures do not stir
For they hear a sound so foregin
The clouds protect the stars and the moon
Clouding what they might see.

I catch my breath and
my lungs cool over.
"Its me" you say
Its you I say
At night, the warm night
The acompained with my love night
I run away with you.