I still dream of you sometimes,
the same way I did before,
you choking me
and I turning
the color blue.
I dream it in 3rd person,
that hasn't changed at all either.
The cheap mattress,
dusty floor tiles,
and the belt grasped
tightly in your slightly small
hands, coiling it like a boa,
the fan spinning,
my head spinning,
all things spinning,
you strangling me, wickedly
smiling, laughing, you on me,
then I wake up,
no one is there,
but I'm still hard.

When all the world had lost its senses,
There was always you.
When wars are raging,
Children starving,
I lost myself in you.

When I envision your sweet face,
Loving eyes, saving grace,
I knew at once I found the best,
I knew at once I found some rest.

Our love will grow with double pains,
Double pleasures,
Loss and gains.
The hate in love is love's regret,
The love in hate we both beget.

     (the separation is setting in;
      you lie above, no need at all
      in narcisstic love.
      I cringe below; sullen and sour;
      I don't know)

Yes, passion's desires get caught between
Our reason and emotion.
What can I do? what can I say?
I'm dumb-struck with devotion?

Are you sought after, my dear?
Are you one to catch the eye of all those around you?
You're mysterious, yet vulnerable.
You are intimate, yet appropriately distant.
You're the perfect mate,
A catch worth catching.

Enthralling as you may be,
I'm left wondering...

Just when will it be my time to be the catch,
instead of the lonesome fisherman.

I'd love to be your beltloops

                                             *so you'd come to me first when you're nervous

I walked for eternity
and could not find one place
to sit and rest my tired bones in peace
that did not have car atrocities echoing in the distance
and did not have styrofoam cups poisoning the ground.

For once, I would like
to know what it would be like
to find a clear creek and
scoop up the crisp water
with my bare hands and naked soul
and drink its essence
without disintegrating
from the chemicals.