sometimes they tell me, riley,
you're a true artist,
when you grow up
you should paint for money
everyday
can't say why you think that
i don't like painting,
not painting like that
and they call me an artist
and from inside i scream out no
not like that
i don't want to have to do this
don't want to make and share
this
not any of it,
not now
so i put down my brush
and i walk away from paint
and in my life i decide
what's important
what's important
and i tell you that i don't know
whether my brushes will paint gold
or silver
or bronze
they do what they want
and i don't want them to do it
not today
maybe in a week or two or four
but today
i am myself, not "artist"
So many people have pressured me into taking art courses I am not interested in, pursuing a career in art, and drawing photos of them. I don't understand why I should do something just because I am good at it. I don't enjoy it as much as they think, I guess. They say, "don't waste your talent, you have a gift" but at the same time their eyes are saying "you have to do this, we are choosing your future for you, you have no choice," but I do have a choice. I have a choice to learn other skills and do what suits me best. Of course I'll pick up the paintbrush every so often, but that is not my life.