Tremulous stars on the raw moon, kissing the grief away
My absent lover ran toward the Northern lights
I begged him to stay, I will paint visions inside your head
Azure coils with bands of seafoam with orchid shine
I can inflame ,swirl and glisten
We can find the skyline and live upon the atoms
As my paint brush bristles faintly float away

The acid sunset
My eyes are weary
Murdered branches raked violently
In the faded gloom
Death is broken with the blood trees
Faceless ancient spirits
Dying starts unsuspectingly
Sharp dandelions and silent turns
Crushed boulders on the edge
Where my identity is erased

I whirl and weave myself into circles in my brain
A space that nobody knows
Into someones arms I go
But I can't find my home
No place for me to get shelter from this storm
I'm hungry for need
My delicate parts as they bleed
A portion of my desire is met
My ***** is lustful and shamed
Do I look the same?
Carving the needle inside my veins to hide the truth
Keep the need
Trembling as I speak
I can't seem to express or seem to cope
The patterns of my insight are a maze
Like a rational being I should know what to do
It may be a obtuse dream
I surround the avenue of my thoughts
Making me more confused and feeling so lost

The lies live in your windpipe tonight
As the stars pop and the birds fly  
Lingering in suffocating guilt
Beneath grace where flowers sang
Stones on our lips we stay

Clocks that ended with the pain
A willow tree full of tears as we weep
We travel to the country side
A dead breeze held us away
My lips are full of flaws
In this blackened room without fight
The smoke began to apper
I beat the earth with all my might
Go to the top of the moon
To find the forgotten place

I often wonder why ?
You slipped away so slow
It ate at your pores and poisoned your blood flow
Your skin became lifeless as your eyes would weep
I would try and hold you but you were much to weak
I seen your hair fall one strand at a time
Wishing I could change places and make this mine
I often wonder why ?
This had to happen to you
All the times you sat in that church pew
As others prayed for you to be healed
I can’t help but wonder why  
Your gone and I’m still here?

Frantically unraveling into the throat of the earth
Throbbing molecules quilting the fabric of my minds eye into infinite horizons
Spoonfuls of dust embroidered in my hair
Branches woven into the groves of desolate despondency
My body clutching feebly into a mute embryo
My tongue  silenced into a spinning crimson ocean
Tilting uncontrollably kissing the hard gravel

Lonely hallowed summer
A song over the river
This quiet world of mine beholds the wind
Thriving like vines I could climb
Poetry seeds the winter season
As I wander and wither through sacred earth
The lonely intuition through the peace season
A gentle loves thrives beneath the dark
Leaving me with a thirst

Hamlet my lightening rose
Summer on my lips
I tunnel and tangle inside you
Drinking from the basin of your youth
Earths saliva scribbles upon my dust
Cosmic beauty with a creatures face

Sitting on the front porch, the light wind is tickling my hair
I see you with the kids and think of us,  and where we have been
The life were trying to get right
We would walk the streets hand in hand
Picking daises to put in my hair
Long conversations over dinner and wine
Such a mystery you were
Years later you became defeated
That day that was tragic and real
I know that the voices admired you most
We could not escape
With medications that made you high
While others made you sleep all day
Watching your decline was so hard to see
When you painted the children's rooms
With blood that day
It was such a delightful day
We gathered in the yard
I watched the kids play
So innocent and sweet
Playing, having ***** feet
Climbing trees and chasing one another  
I relive those moments in my head

I have lost all I had
The sun has died
The clouds are not in the sky
I ran to the store the kids needed milk
How they drank it to grow
Big and strong just like dad
You seemed better to me
Home from the hospital
The doctor promises your medications are right
I'm tired and drained
I leave the kids at your side
Who would have thought that day would be


Searching the house looking for them
I see a blood filled shoe
Tiny hand prints and torn skin
I ***** all that I have  
My body seems to shut down
I fall to the ground feeble with pain
An unimaginable disgusted and hopeless feeling
I sob and scream
Please God, this has to be a bad dream
I run to the phone, I know its to late
My little tiny angels that I need
I weep everyday since they been gone
Why couldn't I be the one

I suffer everyday and think of them so
He sits in a hospital but I refuse to go
Voices are so strong , perhaps he didn't know he was wrong
My life is done I'm not complete
I shall go to sleep
With a bottle of ***** and his medications
I go falling slowly then quickly I descend
I see three beautiful faces my babies once again

Substance free
Regretfully gazed at the galaxies
Rebel raised
Rejected promises
A flawless fight spun
Patterns painting in my throat
Departing at midnight to help with  god's thoughts
With glacial , temple moons
Mentally splattered  
Chemically misplaced
Split apart chest
I no longer exist

A empty place
I stand barefoot
Using my hands as a map
This earth will make me free
Limbs scratch my legs
Yet I move on
I surrender myself to this place
Take all I have
It's not enough
I know
Words  pound down like rain
Humanity is not free
I missed all those years
When I sold my soul
I embark on this journey
Trying to see the way

He did my make up today
As I got ready for work
He said "honey you look great"
I going to be an hour late
I feel his hand strike my face
My light delicate skin is now a shade of blue
At work everyone knows
Who falls down twice a week
I need a new excuse


He is shouting and throwing things
Has me by the hair
I see little eyes peeking from under the bed
In my mind I know this is wrong
My voice is clear at times in my head
Yet the memories are always there

You nose-dived into my mind, through layers of affliction
Removing the knots from my heartstrings
My lips quivering
Freebase powder flowing loosely,across my disguise
I have perfected impersonating whom, I use to be

I have scars
I wear them so proud
They are paper thin
My nails touch them so gentle so clean
Passing me by are the stars
In my mind I created you
Watching you stand all alone
But  I’m stranded here between relapse and recovery
I have looked into the eyes of your soul
Many times before but always ask why?
Can I find a way home?

Biting my nails at the age of three
Peach fuzz is what you called it
You sick *******
Why is it I'm the one living inside a grave ?

Sea salt hair with windchime charms
Fireworks in my chest the solar system in my  hip pocket flap
Tobacoo coat stained green with stones from my throat
A daughter of the North with toothpick heels
Sunken ships and bruised lips as I curse your name
Scar you with my thoughts
Regurgitate our  indifferences in this Melancholy sea
Stardust loveless and lost
I weaponize your words

Frost carved a harmonious poem among the trees
As withering driftwood, thirsts for color
The petals weep with ink
Dank obscured whirlwinds that wish to stay
In fields of everlasting growth
I would disentangle my reasoning

Beneath the blanket of sleep
Where we drank from the dredge
Underneath our historical stamped bones
All the distance that we drove
Seeking the pedigree of the past
Voices recovered that once had been scraped and unheard
Brittle souls branded with dejection
As our hearts sweep away into the atmosphere
Flowers drift with the breeze
As the earths ghost crowds and disfigures
A slow, rare, river patterned with regret
Intense shame beneath fluttering space
Wishes tasting like temptation
A fatal dreamer suffering from unbearable pain

Silent eyelids on  galaxies of wings
Spinning meteorites entering my tears, into the white scented moon
  Pockets  full of soft kisses and kaleidoscopes strings
Weaving stones and heartaches into my muse
Spoken through poetic teeth

Steeples of flesh in my nightdress
Unleashed wanderlust stirring up my sheets
Exhaling swirls of poetry
As the fire of you dips into my throat

I stuff you inside
Tasting and purging on your taste
Shoving down words that I never knew
I try and get further from you
But I come back again
My belly thrives because of you
Stripes that began to appear
When I see them I feel you
You are the trigger I don't need
The trouble I can't explain

God's spokesperson
Disarrayed hair, untouched nerves
A science teacher as well
David, Saul and Noah
Men I learned about
I trusted the words of the parish
Until the words " Gays are evil where spoke"

I gorge on the river bend
The liquid bones are opened wide  
I wear my skin to tight
Driving with a fork and knife in my hand
I smell hunger

Prisonor of fire
Bloodbath fevers
With mouthfuls of bourbon and trembling convictions  
A lovers gaze upon her midnight *******
Wandering through starlight fields  
A womb of silence holding the recipe of my tears

Elegant eyes
Natural beauty speaks
You create poetry as you move
Naked white shadows drift
Clear lips that dream
I would go into the darkness
Struggle and bleed
To empty you into me

Eyes of perfection
With a soft echo breath
As the wings dust the breeze
With a vision of the womb in your heart

Sweltering groins in the church pew heat
Dolorous gospels outcry
Lines of blackberries spread as the morning grows
Daylilie's hanging on for dear life
Men's brows wiped hastily
Silence that deafens a room
In this temple of my homestead