Accomplished fingers stroking the strings
Vibrating the air, adjusting the stiffness
Ribs of willow securely placed between my knees
Enbowed and concaved
The amplification like ,embroidered words  
The flawless cello harmonious
As I grieve the instrument ,  I weep

The sweet madness of unbalanced seas
Like a day dream illuminating towards me
Stars that melt
In the wine of day
The worlds on a journey the sea has broken it away
Curves of her back swallow me away
Through violet forests scattered the flowers
Facing the horizons and unraveling into the limits of the stratosphere
Made of petals that resmble your flawless skin
The tones are trembling and everlasting
The rivers let me sail and distant from that time
Vaguely lit by the summer moon
As the stars of sea infuse and I start to see the sky
Backwards I go emerging into sleep
Completely full of delicate pearls

Beating wings of the caged butterfly
With powder so perfect and clean
Tears begin to stain my wings
Don't smother my veins
I need some time to evolve
Shed my layers
Gathering the strength I will need  
I'm becoming speckled with shades of green
If only you could see
He unobtrusively empties my grace
I try not to encur his madness
I do have eyes I can see

I'm heading north
I will not be returning in the fall
My fragile body will soar soon
Swaying in the powder blue sky
Drinking sweet nectar

In circles I begin to glide
Dreaming of escaping this space
The freedom was always there
I know it's not right
I return
My essence is splintered  can't you see

Stains of the drifting stars
A burrow of flesh
As my funeral fingers exhale ashes
Jumping that mortal rope
As my flaws twist and burn
Silhouettes erupt
I see a window of clouds
The simple shape of fear
Spiraling in the smoke
I see my own demise

The sea is tattooed with sunrise and sunsets
Boundless shadows frost the horizon
Silent church floors and breastfeeding mothers
Hickory hilltops with flecks of honey

Your promise means nothing to me
You say one thing and do another
So sick and tired of it all
Tired of excuses you won't admit to own
I see the blood that lays on your wrists
Traveled down to your stomach
Cutting yourself thin
Why do you bury yourself under this disguise ?
I have tried countless times to help you
But the waves come so close
Only you will know
I have observed you in some many states
If you find your mind then give me a call
I can't be responsible for your death
This ailing skeletal body that you call your own
It don’t belong to you
It’s the man in the moon
Flying high in the same clothes
I won't approach you when you hold that spoon
The space where your smile use to be
Blackened rotted teeth without a smile

I'm wounded by his kiss
This alleyway is isolated and adrift
No sanity in these streets
A growing seed filthy and bleak
Flooding me trying to find a home
The embryo sank
Violated all that I had
I hope for a angel in the womb
A starving intoxication  controls my brain
Scribbled thoughts wrote in my head
Panicked tears hypnotize me

We are connected you and I
I held you with my spirit and mind
My heart is heavy I miss you so
I know that I don’t have to let you go
I loved you from the beginning and this will never end
I may not see you by sight
But in my heart you always take flight
You get to laugh and play
Mommy will be with you one day
I have envisioned you on so many nights
Fly with the angels my sweet tiny one
Dancing and playing within the clouds
Touching the angel wings as they embrace you near
Your always in my heart as you already know

Faded perfume tonight on your neck
Shattered spine heartless and torn
As a wintry frost unfolds
Shamed moans that I believed
Leaving scars in the lowest trees

Johnnie was not much of a talker in fact at times not much of a walker

He seldom caused humor, but he has brought death

Dressing in scarlet and Tuscan sun colors

So neat and straightforward or so I thought

Underneath it all was a facade

Removing my clothes and stealing a kiss

I knew the risks, but yet, I allowed myself to taste

I yearn to swallow the amber nectar's spice

I frantically need to know why your sightless?
You don’t envision color
But do you feel touch?
Can you define a vision?
Languor is what you’ll become
When you wont you let anyone in?
I know you feel faulted
And sometimes I deny
But why walk away? Perhaps it could die
I have tried to gather my dreams and carry them
But it consumes me and that is not what I wish
It is summery and light I need you so
  I need you to have sight
Closing my eyes enjoying  the fragrance of this earth
You could be the sea and I could be the shore
Keeping you safe on your way
The vestigial has begun to disintegrate
You can’t set back and fourth
We need to instill something that can be sincere  
And not set and wait
Because then it may be to late

I bleed out of my womb
Restless and incomplete
No token of contentment
A heart that don’t beat
Out in the distance you can hear the cry
The wailing of the babies
The forgetting of it all
Do I follow or lag behind?
Go into the water watch myself drown
Would I die?
Frantic to stay alive
Consuming the air as I try and shove it into my throat
Breathe don’t choke
What a callous soul you have here
Do you whisper yourself to sleep?
Let the demons control your dreams
Or I’m curious do you hear the screams?

Confined to this turbulent path
Ancient and hollow
Afflictions  in the  sweet frost  
A contorted reflection of the river is you
Snowflakes glistening, leaving prisms in the sky
The  certainty of  winter  resuscitates  ones  vitality
The  greater we flutter  
The higher we fly

Why do I devour you so?
Foundation's of lost years
Restraining me refusing to let me go
If I were a shield
I would draw my sword
Mentally defeated, spouting my existence
Submerged in hypersomnia

Where has all the grace gone?
People that say excuse me and please
Men that act like gentlemen and get the door
Women who wear elegant dresses and leave something to the imagination
When people had poise
Walks through the parks and family rides
Flowers in the hair and boutonnieres
Picnic lunches and love notes
Music that makes you sway
Cold lemonade on a summers days
Sunday afternoon after church gathering around
Small quaint towns where everyone belonged
When kindness and empathy was taught to the young
Values were still in place
Long before the grace had gone

The city lights cried
The bridges were beaten and bare
Rocks cast adrift
Fragments inside the concrete forced me to breathe
I frequently disdained the soul of my death
The lips of ink scraping my day

As the contour of the sun reflects from the windowpane
The layers  of the sea burned
Death in a jar
Distracted and bruised
As the whiskey smoke invades my space
Hands trembling on the glass
This dull fabric of my soul is smudged
With lacerations of my past

Eyelash powder flowing  loosely
As the window of wishes  is dusting the breeze
Fingertips with scars that one cannot see
Lips  that shudder with waves of pills
  Swallowing a maze that  one cannot  follow
Malicious  force  when one is weak

Fevered lips
Hungered hips
My swollen teeth eat your *******
Your bones lay upon me
As you ******* milk
Humid thighs that know my secrets
Distended belly
That continues to crave
You and I

Lonely, elusive,love
In a shapeless silhouette that saunters
In hands full of prayers
Beautifully fluttering to speak
Paper thin promises on the horizon of reprieve
Through broken sunsets and flowing streams
Twines made of a language I can't speak

Washing away the chill of birth
As afternoon daises dance with the breeze
Birds cry in the wheat
Ship wrecked and weak
A yellow circle of seeds follow the train
Cramming the world into my face

A delicate fabric
Developing into me
Pursuing promises of light
As my lungs begin to  perforate
A rebel moon uninvited
Spitting pieces of ropes into the wasted clouds
I become frantic with the thought of relapse
With reflections of vulnerability
Starless twisting my departure
Boiling my foundations as the ashes bleed
The remorse of my demise seeping out my integrity

Eyelash bones swimming, into pockets of etched memories
As earths skin nourishes me with mother nature’s stone

Winter is a fraud to me
I had no right to love her
Yet when we come together she incites me
As a child she kissed my frost nipped cheeks
Made igloo tears and iced up fuzzes

Then I caught sight of her with make up on her cheeks
She warmed me through and was awe-inspiring
Unbreakable and reassuring like an old friend
We said our farewell for this day  

It seemed as though time scampered away
She distressed me we had a quick chatter then we where on our way

Chilled to my marrow she stayed in the air
Becoming senseless at great lengths  
Beginning to distort my state of mind
I'm brain sick
The sun never seems to shine

Spilling my soul into static whispers  
My lover has hands of stone
Sailing into the smoke of my shame, oppressing my fate
The mouth of the river inhaling flames
Soulless shivering guts, laced with faded faith
Wandering into the depths of madness
A boundless existence
Intertwining reflections of the universe
Spoken fireflies slipping from the earth
Fractured heavens with poetic knots
Blossoms twisting in the field of the moon

A smothering indistinctness of agony
Once we drank the innocent
Virginal and bloodless
But your thirst disintegrated
In a horrific cloud of bitterness
Follows bones to contradict the animosity
Love ground to a dust  
In a torrent of hate

I'm making love to you
As the candle light
Sways  like a graceful ballerina
Off the sweetness of your curves
I want to touch your love
Your smell flutters in the air
I reach for you desiring to behold you
Your skin so delicate and pale
I Swim into your eyes
As they take me away
I inhale our scent
As you ******* tongue
You  begin to occupy my mind
As I swirl in a river of you
Your hunger will be fed

The vision of a loud sleep
Howling in a  evolution spirit
As the corner of wars acquires a silent danger
Society of concealed disdain, succumbs when  freedom disappears
Where mindless premonitions shriek
Erupting with desperation
Dreams jars full of color
Decomposing perceptions with shreds of fate
The map of my introspective is a harrowing walk
Twisted in a weave of deceit
Trying to stifle the air of depression

Hallway of moon beams
The valley of your ribs
Shadows under my depression
A journey of immortal growth
Climbing your vertebrae
I'm the silhouette on the trapeze into space
Drinking from your collarbone
Hollowed space in between hips
Tissues of your joints
Your curtains of skin that uncover letting me in
Settled in your lungs is seaweed
As you waited long in the bottom of the sea

Chains of tears
Sickened with fear
As my journey fades
Sprouting wounds full of shame
Your skeletal exhausted hips
Praying at there reflection
Getting closer to slipping in the dirt
The explosive truth is unavoidable

Rain-less lips and disintegrating teeth
Your gaunt face that I barely recognize
Your bloodless eyes are rendering
I stroke your emaciated limbs
Trying to recall you in my head
You were so lovely
You were my home
Bones barely breathing
As the distance begins to climb
The years become fogged
As I'm swaddled  in this mystic cocoon

I don't want magnetic eyelashes
I want magnetic poetry
No Botox for me
Let me wrinkle let me age
It's alright to become who I'm suppose to be
Don't want fake extensions my hair is its own
It will grow out one day at a time
No need for microblading, highlights or ****** scrubs
Won't curl my lashes or disguise my wrinkles
My skin can tell my story through native lines
The burden of beauty is a fools game
I shall use my smiles lines as a accessory
Wrinkle creams will not fix your personality
I refuse to fake fuller lips
Acid peels are not for me
Cheek fillers full of botulism
Skin lasers to erase me
Hair removal will be with a five dollar schick
Keep your tanning beds and keep your Melanoma
Don't need Chanel or Louis Vuitton not paying 2,000 dollars for a handbag
I will be just me

I sweep my bones under the rug with my sanity
Off it goes through the door and down the drive
Tumbling screaming towards the mass confusion
I have dreams that I have held carefully in my hands
But I ran with them and watched as they collide
I have overdosed on love
It drained me so
At first I needed and desired
Now I need more
Caress my mind freeing my soul
Its been a cold war
I have confessed sins that I already own
Use my skin look within
Rich colors that glow
Underestimate my perceptions
Blood buries the lies that reside in my veins
Eating at the shadows
Hiding only at night
I overlook you
Wished the worse on you
Climbed inside of you
Kisses make me weak and weep
Holding my head down until I’m in the ground
Digging my nails through the ***** soil
Aching  in disbelief as I stride to be alive
I need fumes to make this right
Inhale the scent of your sweetness
Waves are crashing down on me
Sinking to the bottom peaceful and free
If I’m gone to long don’t you  look for me

In the darkness I can’t tell a lie
When your fingers make me raise
Skin that tingles
It makes me warm feeling no fight
I lay still let you take me
I’m yours
This bottle I have is starting to ache
No pills can take away this disaster
No dulling this pain
What if we don’t do this and it gets to late?
No regrets moving forward
Facing the pain
As you place your hands on me
I can manage the truth
Let you have my flesh
Dancing in the moonlight let it be
My cool bare skin that you worship and need
My lips tug at your mouth
I’m so hungry I need
I want you inside of me
To live and never escape
Are you my truth?
Perhaps when day you’ll be a stranger that I never knew
Until then you’re my need

A victim of humanitarian living
Where the faith is dipped , with the wounds of pain
Those who chose ignorance to ignore the truth
Destruction at the execution
Yet so many ingest the virus
Malnourished and vanquished
Stained with hunger
My death is Interlaced with my Eternal Life
With a passage to follow into my burning death
Tranquil departing at last
The fatality gives me a reason to live

Caged with a seductive regret
We magnetically connect
With old open wounds
We have perfected  heartbroken qualities
I reminiscence soaking the sheets
And smelling your taste
Enchanted fingers that knew love
We tangled together in honey
Chaotic with flaws
Burning deeper with a fevered rush
As destination spins I overflow

The spinning of eyelids, fractures sleep
As the canvas of a caged masterpiece, drifts into the wind
Slivers in the pockets of illusions, tormenting core of winters seed
Footsteps knot the strings of kaleidoscopes
Reincarnating the heartaches of before
Silhouettes of moon stones jumbled on the wings of space
Galaxies of meteorites entering the atmosphere interlocking fate

I hear your seduction
I taste the sensation
Shivering with the reverberation of desires
Witnessing the carnal combustion
That resides in your teeth
The torrid tangles surrounding my heart
Curves of flesh that you spill unto me at night
Spinning and sprouting as we weave into each other
Your mouth climbing the tips of my *******
Feeling you beginning to descend
I roam my fingers over your hips
As we discover one another
You cluth and grab me as I drink from you
Arching your back we press together
We join into  esctacy like no other
I writher beneath you as we become one

I want a invitation to give up
No questions asked
No guilt just freedom
Free at last

Floating across the invisible winds
The river is delicate and sound
Unhinge the hunger of my desire
This tragic pattern has to vacate
I glance at your face
Furrowed lines of pain
I traced that face with fingers of grace
Your eyes are my voice
The sheltered layers
Unstringing me one knot at a time
Feeling exposed yet reborn
I thirst for you as a fire burns
Floating trying to simplify
This delicate thread

I fall so quickly
I have no time to prepare
Although this is nothing new
As I fear

My hands that feed our babies
And cook the food
Suddenly has to protect
I crawl upon the floor
Picking up the remnants of my tooth
Tears strain to appear
Forced to clean up the blood I made
As the rag soaks up the red
I hurry to be done

My son finds pieces of my tooth
He is excited the tooth fairy will come
I wish something magical would occur

Some ask how do you love him?
Why don't you leave?
I love this man with all I have
If I leave he will **** me
Besides I have no power over him
He is strong and I'm weak

My eyes were given to him now he can see
My mouth was given to him now he can breathe
My heart was given to him but nothing changed
On that cold winters day
The shot gun was so loud it made me fade away
I got the message loud and clear
The only thing I owned was fear
I don't wear it well ,in fact it don't fit
I never looked good in black and blue

We sit in the kitchen its a quiet night
You get angry and flip the table
Glass is everywhere I try to clean
You put your large hands to my face
As my heart does a race
My skin feels like it will tear
I hold still my eyes are in pain
I struggle to speak
I have no voice
This is not how I want to live
Hands are suppose to be tender
A kiss should be soft
Not a bite of the lips
I'm so weary
I'm lost
It's time to move on
I shall never return

He wants me one last time
I remain still as he undresses me
Pulls my hair as he enters me
Filling me with his sickness
I begin to bleed
Dressing myself as my whole body aches

Mysteriously he agrees
I know this may not be the end
But I walked through the door
Had my babies at my side
Something magical had happened
I became alive

Bitter planets nailed to the stars
The earth's cage shadows
As collarbones crack
Rushing delusions over a birds tongue
Gypsy girl sneering through hollow yellow teeth
Drunken footprints in my eyes
Floating through unfathomable distress
My milky skin ingests  hallucinations
Trembling  in this transparent fairytale
Whirling layers of silence hibernating in a state of hysteria