I wake up in the middle of the night
silky moonlight flows into my room
through a gap between my satin curtains
the stars are beautiful tonight
I check my phone lazily
my tired eyes scan the bright screen
no new messages
I push myself out of bed
and shuffle to the bathroom
my head is throbbing.
I swing open the cabinet
where did I put it?
ah, there it is.
Tylenol.
I ****** up the bottle
and put it in the pocket of my pajama pants
stumbling aimlessly out into the hall
I eventually find myself out on the patio
gazing longingly up at the moon
I dig the bottle of Tylenol out of my pocket
shake, shake
the pills tumble out of the bottle and into my palm
one, two, three,
**** it, I'll take the whole bottle
my head hurts
everything hurts
I squint my eyes at the night sky
do it, do it
I stuff my mouth full of tylenol
and swallow.
the stars are beautiful tonight.

In the light of the moon, porcelain skin gleams,

Eyes beaded, features stitched, unmoving it seems.

Silent I stand, with no voice to share,

No heart to feel, in the puppeteer's lair.

Bright strings pull at my delicate limbs,

Twisting and turning, to my master's whims.

A captive of fate, a prisoner of will,

A soulless vessel, forever still.

In the symphony of shadows, I long to break free,

To find who I am, to find the real me.