I wander through the complexities
of nice and good and other oddities
with wish and want I begged for yes
but found out each time they couldn’t care less

I tried and tried and tired myself out
only to leave my mind in angst and full of doubt
what came next was hard and brutal in it’s tyranny
and left me with more than but one enemy

but now much later I can see through eyes
that have been cleared by history and lies
they are blue and deep like oceans wide
and forgiving to both man and child

what comes next I hope will fill me more
to over flow to love and to adore
it takes time you see to be me
but I forgive that and always intend to just be

feeling the pull
holding ankles
i can't fight back
hobbled i fall forward 
it drags me under
cold waters
clawing at the ocean floor
i lift my head
**** in air
to struggle free
my feet on earth
again
I am me

later
i feel
magnatised 
feel
the powerful force
it draws me near
it's compelling
persuasive
leads me like I lead a horse
raising my force
high
twisting turning  
out of its grasp

Daily i am pulled
dragged
out of my flow  
my habitat
my own
true nature
withering
in this daily battle

One day i will be
too weak
to
fight
and
it won't want me
anymore

I will be free

the gentle soft touch
of a strangers embrace
the lightness of laughter
as we turn face to face
the swiftness and ease
as two lips touch
the fleeting breeze
as it becomes all too much
then head bowed and unashamed glee
when two friends embrace
and know how to be