Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
394 · Oct 2014
Cafe Intoxica
Feeling Real Oct 2014
Turn off your narration
Static and voices
A fan, somewhere

Empty space
Orders for new materials
Brick-walled barriers

Perhaps, paint one wall
3 stories up
And room to jump
i was channeling sylvia plath while writing this
393 · Oct 2015
Autumn After
Feeling Real Oct 2015
What poetry is there in decay
You ask and ask and ask and ask
and you ask and you never shut the
**** up and wonder why you want
to decay in the first place

Do you want the winter in your bones
After you’ve beaten autumn
into submission? do you want
to proclaim your victory from an ice
mountain, your castle, your crypt
Your ******* skin stretched thin
Do you want to be the only winner
in the race to death
Yourself is the only one playing
So you’ve only lost by a hair’s breadth
Every time
392 · Nov 2015
Repitition As Weight
Feeling Real Nov 2015
Father said immortality was a wave upon which I came and crashed
And to embrace the ephemeral like the claws of the cat, a scar on my knee
That vanquished all of my fears of living safely, blood, and who knew
It would outlast the skin, down to the bone, down, past the soul, the cut
I would make many more as the years left me

Father said my willingness to learn was a godsend, that too many folks
Waste their whole lives pretending they have all the answers, and I said,
"And, Daddy? What about you?" And he told me that he knew everything, and
Somehow that didn't grate unexpectedly then, as it does now
He lied to me and I lie to the whole world to right that wrong

Father said that how fickle it was, how time was, how time goes, how he just
He knows, and he let me in on the secret, the magnetics, electricity
The undeniable, insatiable grasp when the whole world is in your hands
We traversed all of the United States in a semi-truck, only breaking to sleep
Only pausing to look out of the windows at an Arizona desert where, maybe
The Totem Poles were the spirits of the dead calling out to us to stay, just once

Father said I was supposed to eat and am entitled to growth, how delightful
Change is, and I embraced that philosophy with enough barbituates poisoning
Me I could finally feel the infinity that he talked about, and how he shied away
From the word God, and still talked about his childhood and his destruction
As if they were tangible things, he said he's forgotten so many details already
jusso you guys know half of this is made up and i would never in my whole life call my father daddy because my daddy kink would really **** me up like tbh i can't even think about calling my father daddy without wanting to **** lol
391 · Sep 2015
I Made a Friend
Feeling Real Sep 2015
I would rather tear apart the witness
Frozen, he stands on the ground
The truth is a marvel, a lion, a moat
I conquer! I siege!

My monastery dance, no ankles, no *******
Hello, wandering eyes, left - bereft
Swear your majesty their tragedy is yours
I look upon theft for reward

It’s all porcelain before quake
We meet and you sit not anticipating shake
My weight falls great to outlast days
No longer! **** me!
388 · Jul 2014
The Descent
Feeling Real Jul 2014
of course, i'm alright
i've just got my drunk vibe on tonight

i don't know who i'm with

i'm on top of the world, lights flickering

a burning taste, a sweet embrace, follow me down
388 · May 2014
Deeper
Feeling Real May 2014
And there was nothing
No itching to relieve
Something so irritating
and noxious as fumes
I exist to consume
and be consumed
a fleshy being
With little to lose
I exist, exist as blue
Not sky nor sea nor calm
but endless and deep endued
I asked for it
Raised to perfection
So, well, I settle
before night ensues
377 · May 2021
Loveless
Feeling Real May 2021
I once had a dream of a handsome man
The kind with timeless, tired eyes
Four piece suits
And hair slicked back
Moustache



But now I fall in love with every glance
Every moment, each memory
Repeats into a cascade in my head
I was never as bright
As I was, as I shined
Every single weekend night
377 · Oct 2015
It Comes, Naturally
Feeling Real Oct 2015
Every day's the same
I fall apart
To make it out and return
It's too hard
The cracks in my skin
I've torn into
The gaps between our bodies
I've looked into
I've got this nothingness inside me
Everyone can see right through
I'm doing nothing
Dancing late night through my room
Curtains open, come and help me
I am nothing like you
I'm terribly confused
And conflicted
My every other thought is wicked
I drown in sickness
375 · Jan 2016
Weak
Feeling Real Jan 2016
I don't know where the wind blows
But it starts in my chest and takes me
It's somewhere like home
I'm over the slime and the tar pits
No splatterings or heat
Ever mar my body
I am alone
another ode to death i need to release
375 · Jan 2014
Starving myself
Feeling Real Jan 2014
To take up less space than you currently do seems deceiving
It announces the decision to all who care to know
You are always only a self
The condition of the body serves no purpose to the self
only to those viewing it
So, to what end does this physical reduction cease being an observation?
One could imagine that the physical aspects of an individual were indeed their character
but such is merely fantasy
After the desired state is achieved, the self
unmarred except by the result of the change
still, separately exists
369 · Jan 2014
In a Room that Vanished
Feeling Real Jan 2014
Listen to the lilacs catch hold of the breeze
They move outside of the window and their scent breathes
The room is filled with the dry heat and bloom of a long-dead Lilac bush
369 · May 2014
Dimming
Feeling Real May 2014
I am absolutely petrified
afraid of little and big alike
living like someone half-alive
not radioactive, but acting spite
If I could exist another way
be born into night, as I was into day
it would be much easier to hide

Why exist at all when not really alive?

Ponder upon the hatred of all
Why exist for something that is nothing at all?
These people, these peasants ask for it
these stupid, whining, petulances
talking to me as if I care
With so-called clever small talk, unnatural air
gasping and panting for one more breath
that they'll get and ask for again

A cycle, a cycle of loving demands
that will end with me, by my hands
Why exist for nothing at all?
It serves to remind
It is alright if you've already died
367 · Feb 2014
Zachary
Feeling Real Feb 2014
Limbs long, dragging lazily
demeanor wavering and hazy
Your protruding hips and wrists
I devoured on sight
My mind palace holds them
to be recalled while lonely or jealous
Someone else gets to touch them
they feel the hollows of skin
and grab, or run their fingers along you
Smooth, gentle, light flutterings
Hands encasing that which lie lost
Baggy clothes, hiding you from all
My notions are innocent fascinations
I could run my hand along all of you
at least once without getting bored
I've lasted months without
I could longer, but I'm weakening
Perhaps, not even seeking another
I can wait
366 · Sep 2015
Refusal
Feeling Real Sep 2015
There is nothing harder than
Sleeping curled around fragments
Anchored into oblivion

Dream of foreign planets
Skies that open wide from day to night
Snuffing the sun out was a too-quick endeavor

I see his face sometimes, after drowning myself
I blame his face sometimes, for ever having been
I ache sometimes to flash to the ending

It would make sense that less is more
I would eat less if I knew it would shake my core
My convictions are flag-bearing ships

Who would sail to a new land to taste the sea?
Salt water poisons and I grate that hardness in me
It's the garnish on all of my meals
alludes to an eating disorder
366 · Nov 2015
Confessional Poetry
Feeling Real Nov 2015
I am 13 when I decide for the first time my skin isn't satisfying
And the only way to remedy that is to break inside
To pull out something unpleasant, fill it instead with boxed wine
Fill it with soft-core **** alone in my basement while I text
The oldest man who's interested in me, and it's pleasant
Until I'm rejected for the 50th time

These people are so nice about it, they exchange me
My nothings are as sweet as the first metal bite against my wrist
and, this, I promise myself, is the reminder of what it feels like
To be damp with the must of underground, amongst the spiders,
Afraid to get up or touch myself or feel anything new

When I am 15, I finally realize all of the words cascading around me
Are meant to be the knives upon which I impale
I dye my hair again and let my future fall away
I was always convinced I didn't deserve to succeed, that it
Was always out of my grasp and I cry for the first time
For a solitary hour in my grandmother's bed
Because even the next room over, she can't hear me
And I spend the whole summer rationing my food supplies
And running myself to exhaustion every morning I can rise
Nothing was as tragic as that, because it wasn't a beginning
It was 3 solid years of losing every second
And distancing myself so far from every morsel of life
I eat but I've never recovered

I haven't had a friend since I was 15, and life is starting to
Become the tedium upon which I stay teasing
Would it be better to approach or defend
The heart
366 · Jan 2016
Musings at Age 17
Feeling Real Jan 2016
He said there’s always another woman

And nobody’s better than mine

Said he’d teach me the tricks, I’d be fine

I’m still a little girl, but I’m smart, he says all the time

I can do anything I want if only I could find

Something to occupy my feeble mind

And the days pass with nothing to do

I’m just wasting my time with my - with you

It’s true you’re the best thing to happen to me

Since I fell down and found this place on my knees
found this is a notebook from my senior year
365 · Feb 2014
addendum
Feeling Real Feb 2014
I sometimes forget
age is, in fact, more than a number
and experience opens minds otherwise tainted
I refuse the title of creep
or untitled
Letting go is nothing
I haven't done easily, before
363 · May 2014
The Blossom's Wilt
Feeling Real May 2014
Mutterings
between whispers
among friends
Unlike the brazen
hope fills these interactions
but flees
Nothing stays
Stillness, long enough
to mark itself
as corporeal

I hear things
Decisions
Exacted morality
against tradition
lies new buds
A field of flowers
to blossom, come summer
If even it bothered
to share heat
and enlighten us creations

Such natural place
among sky, trees,
scurrying of critters
None specific or named
but said to be dangerous
to we blossoms
Standing tall on thin lines
a massive weight
We are just alive
acting peasants
still, pleasantries
I believe in nothing
I am flesh
I bleed, not green
or flowered petals
To decorate this decay
naturally
this solves nothing
and is too clear
A preference of metaphors
to my honest fears
362 · Dec 2015
James Has Got It Better
Feeling Real Dec 2015
I like your big eyes
Light up my life with your fire
Burn me, red white and gold
I know you never said but I think the credit
Goes to: you were too old

James, I think, the lying has got to stop
He says, I'm not his only but I'm his favorite
And I don't think it can get more perfect

He thinks he wants me
When I beg to be included
He wants to touch me when I'm feeling loose
He's just so clever, ten steps ahead

James has got it better because he's in love with me
I asked him about it and he said that we're holy
He's just a vampire who's been born to feed
It's gotta be meant to be, gotta be, something telling me
The fantasy is just as real as reality
361 · Jan 2015
Half-assing Life
Feeling Real Jan 2015
I soaked in every word from your mouth
and repeated it back to you
and I guess it was assumed
that something had bloomed
While we walked the town to get coffee
360 · Apr 2014
Ego
Feeling Real Apr 2014
Ego
I write when I begin to feel
emotions are things to purge
and though not often does this occur
my words are masterpieces
waiting to be heard
As if I feel something I will imagine
Just for a grade
Just for some attention
pay me in your admiration
if it exists
Feed me false confidences
if I fall short in deliverance
But my ego is such it shall remain untouched
I am better than skilled in deception
I am a masterpiece painting its way
I am so purposeful
when I am set to complete
any task or chore I meet
but poems, they require a felt beat
that only comes naturally
when allowing notions to be free
and I purge all that comes
before I can contribute
that nonsense to me
360 · May 2014
In Notions
Feeling Real May 2014
I often ask myself questions without answers
Observe what happens in sensible manners
A thought, I find, is less than it seems
because hearing voices is illusory dreams
I view in pictures and notions
review summaries of oceans
condensed to a raindrop
after it has evaporated
I can't trace back to review each idea
in its fleeting, fleeting, and magical scale
I sift, and I sift, with little avail
and then, Viola! I am struck with truth
Logic denial has brainwashed roots
and I, ego included, escape
I share and I lie and I propagate
because life, though a trifle and long
is simple enough to be written down
in a few short lines, by even the worst
writer or scientist or creationist-****
Live, breed, die, the cycle
that has bound me into constant denial
Die, die, die
The last truth
I have been running away
since my long-ago youth
359 · Nov 2014
Acceptance of Life
Feeling Real Nov 2014
I am forgiving
the plants do not choose
nor the sea or sky
Just as I did not choose

I tried to stop inhaling
but the automatic response
of body has me ever
Exhaling

I dunk my head underwater
in lapses of my swimming
I can stay 45 seconds before I panic
and over a minute if I am calm

I take life by each moment
I hold on to nothing
I am so forgiving
that it keeps repeating
355 · Feb 2014
On weight
Feeling Real Feb 2014
I believe I could shrink
if I tried hard enough
so I must not want to

Somewhere, deep down
or, likely, close to the surface
I am a glutton at heart, at least

So I stay, a stable one hundred and thirty pounds
I've heard a skeleton weights 15 pounds by itself
and the organs add 25 more

I am 90 pounds of something that shouldn't exist
What is the point of wanting to be less?
Why, BMI 20, do people tell me I'm thin?

I don't get it
I can't see it
I am not it

Perception is silly, sometimes
351 · Apr 2015
Black Out Drunk No. 1
Feeling Real Apr 2015
What happens when I hit the right button?
I always fight
Always fight for the right and I will
Always win if the light-
Logic is behind me
I don’t always win but I probably should
No, the walls they can hear me – not good
There’s no winner and that is so empty
Exit
351 · Dec 2015
Take Me to The Party
Feeling Real Dec 2015
I've got the microfibers by a thread
Just keep unraveling-raveling
Maybe I'll wind up dead
Just got the mad old man by his finger
Three of mine wrapped around his bigger one
He's got the best idea, eyes wide in fear

I think he is the one

But he's not real, he's just a rake
There's no siren spell
He just sits and waits
And that awful lap is big enough for two

I never ask because he would want to

Why so rotten, my baby tooth
Wiggles around and leaves me
Sugar, sweet, a 200 dollar treat
Take me to the store sometime

He'll take me out to play sometimes

I never find - There's no one else
Who watches me like I'm something else
Ethereal, flaming, god-like wanting
I am something special

*I am something else
349 · Jan 2016
Tracking Number #XXIV
Feeling Real Jan 2016
I'm angry because the darkness came and left me
No calling card, no receipt, just a memory
Where the haze lingered and made me the joke
I can find no satisfaction in re-telling my woes!
I just feel and then I stay the witness, alone!
347 · Sep 2015
There's Always Something
Feeling Real Sep 2015
Dally the seconds into hours or months
And let the itch take you away
The home you’ve known you grew up alone
Missing allowances from the daze you’re in

You keep your feet up off the carpet
The white **** you’ve been begging to clean
The dirt stains and wine spots are all there is and then they’re not
All permanent fixtures are your wealth to be seen

We put the weight in rotten boards
Under the baggage and in with the dirt
The secrets are bound in leather notebooks
We burned them before we got caught in the words
The danger is losing yourself to a man’s coy looks
I’m scared of the hollow in me
I ask it to be filled and they always comply
But my demons need room to breathe
I evacuate the air so they can multiply
344 · Sep 2015
Autumn Mourning
Feeling Real Sep 2015
I'm sick with power, sick, in too deep
Tracing power lines along every street
The corners lament, the station cement
The rotting woods ready to be replaced

Nowhere around has decay like I do
So fear the ready souls
We lengthen the sun, we race and we won
But dawn comes quickly for repose
Feeling Real Jul 2014
I can account of scarcely more than my own perception
My clever tricks keep me swift
I can approach without falter
As long as I must not review or alter
The notions on which I exist

While conversing with myself, I mention
A series of eerie similarities of things that be
To render useful ambivalence I ignore myself
I disregard whims, wants, and health
Finally, yes, all is clearing
I can see
342 · Jun 2014
Depression
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I'm feeling monumental
like I've made a plan and followed through
but I don't finish anything
not thoughts or even this poem
335 · Mar 2014
I desire
Feeling Real Mar 2014
I crave musings of mind and issues not yet dealt with
to be a part of and continue inside the process
I do not want to have *** or touch you
It's impossible to think this is reality
It's not too easy to explain this truth
I want you around me always
But never, ever, touch me
I desire the affections and affectations
without the final stage, please
333 · Jun 2014
Tolle
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I turned the page
Opened my self up
to find what I wanted
eager
to grab
that which appeared to me
Prepared for the worst
expecting the best
A function of ego
Let go
Let go
of it
everything
a fictitious
nothing
331 · May 2014
4-5-2009
Feeling Real May 2014
A night of sorrow
A tune of death
Rejection burns deep
I find a hole in my heart

Until im worthy of your love
Nothing left to say
I prepare for departure
Thougths begin to cluster
What have i done to you...
What did i do to me?

The dead cloud
Calmly leads the sail
The night cries for you

Now alone
Looking at pictures of us
My cascade of tears fall upon uncaring eyes
Shadows surround me
Crying out my name
Bleeding,
I am fallen.
330 · Feb 2014
It is Not I
Feeling Real Feb 2014
I need to purge
Negate existence
View less, consume less
I will see, explicit
facts and earning
and statistics to abuse
That I will use

Unable to accept
My powers, inept
Waiting and wishing I were what else
Someone not subject to Self

Lulled into security
Fathoming worth
It is not I
328 · Oct 2015
Claws, 2015
Feeling Real Oct 2015
Omens are comforting calculations, coincident or obvious proof
We wake with the dawn, moon not long gone
And echo down along the grass

You're telling me to leave the problem-solving to you
But you're a liar who's always been hurt
I'm sure you can't understand
Without the missing pieces I am
Nothing, no one at all
To reap from the seeds, you keep me sick and suffering
But it all balances out, spiral flowers from her grave
It's out of our hands but you protect like iron bands
Shackled her hips and waist
Bruised until grey, hair blackened waves
The goddess visits man, the following is brave
Eliminate the threat, put me further in your debt
The brightness grinds into my bones
The light's so low I can hardly see
I long to watch your transcendence entirely
I'm left without a lead that I can follow
If you look close enough, she said she was always hollow
I don't feel, no, not at all
My blood's gone dry, limbs, and I want nothing more than this
You're an impossibility wrapped in a death wish
326 · Jun 2014
Another Ode to an End
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I think it's time for everything to end
There's nothing here
there's nothing I can get
I want to feel the things I haven't felt
I need everything I can get
I need help
Time keeps slipping
The clocks unwind and I roll with it

Everyday the sun rises and falls
Everyday I want to die
But there's something in me that isn't right
and someone's lying next to me tonight
I keep slipping
Out of my clothes and into bad habits

Do you think that it's a good time to die?
I've got nothing,
or, I want nothing
Time keeps passing by
I think I'm in love with the night
This is what I am
A proponent of easy-living

Why don't we end the pretense?
Jump off a bridge
It just makes sense
I can't remember why I've been
sitting around doing nothing
This is what I am
If the time is right
why should I live?
Feeling Real Dec 2015
We weren't running from the glass left
Shattered on the apartment floor we were living
The best way we could, cabinets bare, feeling
Where could the best advice take us?
Where would we fashion the best replacement?
Kindness, strangers, bars emptied into wet pavement
We were beautiful before darkness
Said, "Hello"
321 · Jun 2014
Pulses Can't Drive
Feeling Real Jun 2014
She was finding it hard to not look at him. She was glad he was driving right now.
She noticed his hands for the first time. His face didn't betray his age. He was too colored, by experience or value, to have something so insignificant obviously displayed on his features.
He fiddled his hand over the steering wheel. She could see a few protruding veins. His forearms, still half-covered, showed skin that looked worn and weary, but heavily muscled. She wondered why she had ever looked to his face to find his age. It clearly was of less use to her than his hands.
He readjusted himself beside her, picking his left leg up and propping it up to his thigh in the drivers seat. The closed triangle lost her attention.
She looked to her own hand, wondering if the age was displayed in it, as well. Pale, fleshy, youthfulness; nothing marred by lines or dryness to meet her view. Perhaps, this was just a marker of work. She had done little with her time. He looked over at her for a moment, eyes grinning with what his mouth wouldn't dare speak. They lock eyes and when the contact breaks, continue to drift down the road.
"How old are you?" She asks him. The first words she had spoken to him since their physical encounter. He considers her for a moment.
"I'm 40."
"Oh."
"What?" He asks her.
"I don't know."
excerpt
320 · May 2014
2010
Feeling Real May 2014
Is there a way to describe the hopes I've seen
The thoughts I have felt
The dreams I've dreamed?
In a simple way
a thought can be collapsed.
Every moment I'm away from the indulgence I die.
Every second I am denied
I wither and plead to a heaven
that I could be free of this
free of anything that could keep me frayed and oppressed
Could we shame the liars?
Could we tame the beasts inside our minds?
Condemning us to a mediocre life,
only to reach full potential if we manage
to bend the rules and have no remorse,
no regrets.
But we need to ask if that is a sacrifice we are able to make.
Or is it a decision that should be left to a god or goddess,
a ruler of sorts.
Somebody you have always wanted to be.
Somebody who wishes they could leave their place,
tired of the adoration. Tired of the smiles and pointless
rules they apply to keep us down.
But they don't expect us to understand.
An addiction to a life of putting down.
An addiction to power.
And all the times they could be held close, forgotten...
they lost their chance.
317 · Oct 2014
Ramblings
Feeling Real Oct 2014
function -- can't function
pardon me and words and eyes and my whole
world disintegrates and then just stays

waiting around me and my bedside
to gain affections or the attentions
of someone who knows nothing and is easy

to attach themselves to or with or inside them
manner exist, sure, but as what
as time or inches or abject qualities
316 · Sep 2015
Mother (III)
Feeling Real Sep 2015
Every other sentence out of my mouth is an execution
Where the needle digs further than the vein

I only found desperation when I longed for salvation

I am a joke at my own expense
Because the universe is too large to make fun of me
part 3/3
309 · Apr 2014
good mornings
Feeling Real Apr 2014
I've sadly woken up
once again, as daily
ministrations prove fruitless
a wanton lust
nothing real or beyond
physical realm
304 · Nov 2015
Seven Syllables
Feeling Real Nov 2015
in the heady coffee smoke
and siren basking sunlight
dead casket reminding me
sleep is not a friendly beast
301 · Jan 2014
Haiku 1
Feeling Real Jan 2014
saddled on top of her own world
an empty nothing
i exist though i wish i didn't
300 · Feb 2021
Untitled
Feeling Real Feb 2021
All of my attractions are unaffected
By my presence or my fantasies or my rage
I am the devouress
The success in making my smiling face
Less of a menace
More, say, pleasant

And the anxiety won’t eat me up this time
Because I’ll live in sorrow, ignorance
Lay all my letters in a notebook
Where I scream between the lines
I never told the crime
And even though it’s not, it is mine
300 · Apr 2015
Black Out Drunk No. 2
Feeling Real Apr 2015
To differ anything that I might give to myself
The ending for anything that I might give away
Too tired, too sleepy for anything that I might give out
Yo, I should be sleeping
Instead I’m telling the drama about myself
Kind of like how am I supposed to give myself up
When I’m something that’s telling all my dreams are made up
I mean there’s some sort of promises - then they’re up and
Consciously I might not remain in love
But I swear it’s super promising this far
So important it isn’t made up
And if it was it served it’s purpose up
Shut the **** up and feel me through it
I’ve gotta sit back here just in case it
It’s filled with those anchors that mean… ****
I’m ready for it to be it
I’m gonna sleep now and promise that it’s rich
I’m seeing all these clouds now
They’re falling into my lap
298 · Oct 2014
I let go
Feeling Real Oct 2014
No more words, there's nothing left
No one speaks to each other
I mean, I tried once
But it was only cuzza drugs
I like it when nothing's left

I've finally finished something
That wasn't a fantasy
I've finally entered my heaven
Died so suddenly

Mistakes were made
Said I'm a waste of space
I'm taking up nothing now
My lines are free somehow
You've said hello once but
Do I keep connecting
Or do I sever what's not for show
Watch me
Watch me
Watch me
I let go

What a joke, I laugh
Things blur, I stand
This hand-in-hand disgusts me

Why not, you scream
I lie, unclean
Sheets don't cover anything

I let go
The amount of the sin
No, let go
You're always taking me in
The nights aren't safe
My days are crazed
Ends look attractive now
For, who am I
Stop laying awake
Shake the pleasure off
I want knives to help me
On my new payed job
Why not
293 · Oct 2014
I Want to Write Songs
Feeling Real Oct 2014
Lowly longings for desire
Changed and stimulated light
Slowing down, I re-train my brain with wires
Balanced or not I walk
Upon 5 miles of open study
Or 3 hours exercise
My muscles collapse and shaking
hands and feet and sight
292 · Aug 2014
Old Narratives
Feeling Real Aug 2014
I am at fault for the things I perceive
When I am surrounded by nature
Watching lovely nymphs dancing through trees
My head's so busy, thinking, of only me
Settled down, at night, I relive my day
Too many calories consumed by me
Too much of a disappointment to be
Anyone but myself- and awake, I lay
The men I want, and the things I crave
Escape my grasp, my loose fist clasps too late
Today I asked a boy to date me, he lied, he hates me
I attract those who can't tell I hate me, too

I always catch men staring
And I feel a searing guilt
Of acts only committed in mind
Because I remember and
I find even the thoughts repulsive
I'm fine now, but thoughts evolve and
Triggering can't explain well enough
Next page