Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
17.2k · Apr 2014
Admire Me
Feeling Real Apr 2014
admire me
the way I brush paint on canvas
before the purpose finds a footing
before the colors melt together
and the scenery is lifeless
admire how I read books
for hours on end
the expressions that read on a dull face
otherwise marred by furrowed eyebrows
admire the lilt in my voice
and the uncontrollable pitch
that gives away my every intention unwillingly
admire my great feats of prose
my plump, woman body
my awkward hands and pretty clothes
admire me when I don't even come close
to tickling your fancy
admire me because I exist
dote on me and give me your wishes
admire me as I grant what I can with kisses
admire my nymphet desires
admire my candy coated lips
admire me and want me
admire me
8.6k · Aug 2014
Hijab
Feeling Real Aug 2014
I finally understand the hiding
Of hair and the covering of skin
These women embrace as custom
They are holy descendants of eve
What is left of perfection
Handed down for too many generations
They are cursed, so wanted, why not hide
Beautiful skin and silky hair
Full eyebrows, eyes wide in fear
Determined not to covet physical form
4.1k · Apr 2014
On Romeo and Juliet
Feeling Real Apr 2014
I share the fault
with all the world
sheltered women who haven't heard
the division of society
more than young and old
the innocence of one
the truth of all
the escape that was mentioned
of life and love and thought
and the law who insisted
with no place to have undone
the time that's spent
blood shed as it went
no notice, nor crime
just warnings, every "this time..."
so society as a whole
each of their individual souls
made, to end, prescribed, then sent
along its path, too soon, too soon
a pre-destined night under a moon
and the lust of attraction
the haste of their actions

all death is meant to be
the hero is he, you see
3.3k · Jun 2014
For Welcome Home
Feeling Real Jun 2014
Sleep is calling to you and I

Escape until you've finished tonight

Then rest, with ease, wrapped like warm

Under blankets of sweat of skin

No mate, not now, but soon, around,

You'll find a direction to take
2.6k · Sep 2014
Another Dissociation
Feeling Real Sep 2014
silly siren
perfectionist nymph
lay languid
adjusting to the realm
of awkward itching
manic laughter
frenzied fictions
where the dead lay awake
a miniscule matter
both sailing in ***** grey
and laying in wait
on one end
a microcosm
opens to infinity
and any further action
is unnecessary
and tepid
2.0k · May 2014
Camping
Feeling Real May 2014
A sliding current
lukewarm stirrings
taking me with it
Downstream, I float
taking myself away
from me

And campfire
smoking away day
into dusk
Staring into me
as I, it
separates me

Damp dirt tastes
in my stew
The fire, barely tended
life from leaves
Quick to burn
as easy to end
1.9k · Apr 2014
unwanted
Feeling Real Apr 2014
I do not oppose will
nor bend away
when challenged or tied

but to deny me
a true torture
though I will not fight
nor wish for a difference
or an attitude
because objectively
rejection is easy
1.9k · Jul 2014
pro ana
Feeling Real Jul 2014
forced taste into sour mouth
no, sweet
fillers
static existence yet sun and moons
pretend the liars do speak great truths
masterfully woven
the tapestry
gypsy jewels and patterned art
mistaken for rewarding
left dull my watered part
nutritionally devoid
not punishment or repentance
the fast commences
acute
1.8k · Aug 2014
20 Line Poem
Feeling Real Aug 2014
I'm feeling an expansion
That isn't physical
Nor inside of my head
I know, I've checked
And, though easily tired
I have scoured my depths
For what?
A notion of things past
Experiences not realized
Nor will be
Misogynist, hater of existence
All but mine
A gift to myself
Fruition to be
Or not yet seen
Both awake and in slumber
I writhe, lain flat in covers
Real and fictional alike
There's nowhere to direct a longing
If ever I would create one
1.4k · Jan 2014
On the subject of death
Feeling Real Jan 2014
Nature delivers all that she promises fairly.
She hands us the reality of death,
to be either denied and abhorred or accepted and understood.
I lay under an opened night sky, bitter.
I am agony as the stars wax and wane by my eyes inability to focus.
Of the lessons to be instructed,
this seems, to me, so implored by my spirit.
Looking out into the nether,
my mind attempts a fathoming of what it means to be endless,
like space seems to be in any singular moment.
When I am close to an end at any moment,
my mental prowess is under strain.
All things, even those beyond my grasp, are cyclical.
Stars are born from dust to die in dust.
The Universe, born, will end.
Our Sun, the life-giver, warmth and light,
once mere molecules will return to such.
I can not escape this truth.

I, like all life here, was born to be swallowed back into Earth.
A cruel thing it is, to be destined to loss,
always looming in the future.
In our past, all have been ended,
like I will have been to those who proceed me.  
I have long-since been swallowed by rivers and dirt.
I have given birth to grass and inspired trees to bear their seeds.
I have issued new men to prosper and time to pass.
Though solemn this truth, all will follow behind me.
Inspired by William Cullen Bryant's poem Thanatopsis. It is a great read, so please do not hesitate to read if you enjoyed my take on his work.
1.4k · Oct 2014
Summons
Feeling Real Oct 2014
I am hungry for infallible
Disastrous possession
Avoidant personalities
Violent narcissists
And angry pedophiles

I, narcissist
I have asked for this
Inattentive guardians
And half-baked characters

This willingness of mean
Wild and violent
Watch me fall asleep
And take out your mindlessness
1.4k · Apr 2014
Dominate Me
Feeling Real Apr 2014
if, slowly, i raised the heat
and i worked too hard
and i left you too hard
what would you say to me
the submissive mistress to-be
itching and craving
as a very bad girl misbehaving
not solely naught
but with pink and bows
and new white lace
drinking top shelf lose-yourself
to make you think
but the admiration is enough
and the attractive wanton lust
rubs you just the right way
it is so ingrained
and yet, all the same
I get a taste of a craving
and lose myself to waiting
for someone to teach me
I, the special fool
am waiting for a man to have rule
to give me what I need by substitute
1.3k · May 2014
Alcohol
Feeling Real May 2014
Sweet to the taste
homemade
Fruitful sugars
and aging
a lone space
A magical concoction
better than
any perceived
besides natural
plant life
Grown
To realize
You exist
f
1.3k · Jul 2015
deleted
Feeling Real Jul 2015
it was 100+ lines anyway
i wrote this in the lyrical style of twenty one pilots and la dispute
1.2k · Nov 2014
Untitled
Feeling Real Nov 2014
Raspberry Coke
Drug-drip joke
Massage my lungs
With nicotine tongue
1.2k · Feb 2014
Pecola Breedlove
Feeling Real Feb 2014
Can I
itch or scratch away
myself or essence
Memories in
reveal youth
old truths
a new being
Naked
bathed in skin
made for quiet
overlooked
except the sin
just with him
I
Can I
wash clean
in water
new life to end
flowered
carried in winds
black and dull
I
beyond measure
circumstance
happenstance
by birth
disgusting
What was it?
Can I
remove old ache
Wake
not an It
I
What am I?
existence
stripped of me
What is I?
slightly parted mouth
thigh
closed eyes
shut off
away
inside
I
no longer I
Can I
nothing else
recollect
no recollections
and mention
no family
or their ugly child
Pecola
I
Just I
Blue eyes
I knew
Can I?
1.2k · Nov 2015
Is It Death or Dying?
Feeling Real Nov 2015
I want tendrilic night to descend around me
And wrap itself, drape itself, like a curtain
Velvet and thick, choke and be sick
***** all over the carpets

When the blood slows to more manageable
Clotting, destroying everything it soaks
Tarnish the mainstream, the day dreamer
Wrapped thick inside of winter coats

Baby blue mist making it's way through land
The liquid just beginning to drop
Ivy vines, they wither and shed from sunlight
And grow back into the ground

Medicine is made from the dead flowers
That grow from the pits of Hades realm
1.1k · May 2014
Liver Failure
Feeling Real May 2014
Wordless
exact, completed
but too young
too lively
to wither
and gray

Timeless
inside of heads
to turn off
machines
that give breath
life

Hectic
Frantic longing
of past art
a God, and
I ranted
for
more
1.0k · Nov 2014
In An Astronomy Classroom
Feeling Real Nov 2014
There is no mark

As is; I am

Warming, rising, an oven

Water and blood

Eyes blankly looking

Forward, seldom quickly

But in fervor

A fever, controlling

My actions are my own

A joke, misheard

I am missing

What was or never was

Mind makes a mess of things

Swaying, wind

Never sleep
1.0k · Jan 2014
Vile
Feeling Real Jan 2014
this poem may trigger and is entirely, as the title suggests, vile**


A black room in faded blue light
night time party
We have drugs and alcohol and nice men
for your individual company

I drift between all conversations
he insults my intelligence
he’s so much smarter than me
he can prove it without trying
and I really believe it

A black light lit room
he’s been waiting for time
to stroke my ego and then put me down
I let him

My hesitancy is to be expected
he's older, he knows more than I could
I wouldn’t want to wait my whole life
for something I can get now
He’s so much smarter than me
I am so beautiful
worth forehead kisses and lingering touches
deserving of his attention

So we touch and writhe
and then again, later
there’s no real witnesses
and I feel cared for

Then morning light comes
and he informs me he did not
so I am obligated for round 3

In the bathroom
while the shower runs
freezing cold over me

I messed up, please stop
but I must have not been too scared
because I only asked and didn’t leave

His fist pulled at my scalp
and he told me I liked it
made me tell him I loved him

"You’re never going to get this anywhere else
You’re going to come back to me”
I'm shaking too hard to hold myself up

I’m crying, stifling it into my arm
I’m trying to shut up
but it hurts and I can’t think

"Shut up
You want me to come, don’t you?”
I want it to be done
949 · Nov 2015
Paige, A Cellist
Feeling Real Nov 2015
God no you didn't die
I wasn't with you
God knows I never tried
To make me more like you
The evening never breaks
Without lightening on your face
If I could see it all again
I'd go back and watch it end

Magnificent
Dreaming friend
Never never sleep
It's not nice
I went
Screaming when
I saw your dying breath

Hold hold hold
Hold on
I'm not dreaming I'm not dying
Without your song
Won't won't won't
Won't you be
A little bit less frightening
A little more alive again
I don't pretend anymore
I know it's over but I can't move alone
Without your song
insp by teen wolf, you know, derek hale's first love who he pretty much ******* killed it's so sad really i really hope i did it justice

I hate this but i'm keeping it up for nostalgia's sake. maybe i won't hate it when i'm 80 please don't judge me
931 · Jul 2014
Nuance
Feeling Real Jul 2014
driving past red
calming hues of blues and greens
nature's imitator, bleakly, but resilient
if I were the ant I would step on me, too
often I am, but disguised
cracks in the sidewalk are cracks in my exterior
I paint myself thin upon tree branches
I drip - drip with gravity's whim
blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived
glutton for existing as such
in my hands, crumbled, dry leaves
relish in the ending of acts
misguided attempts at steeping leaves
harvested during new moon
tranquility is unreached at current times
I am always sure to remind what's forgotten
875 · Feb 2014
Story Tale
Feeling Real Feb 2014
The butcher at Ken's is a psychopath
Whom has eyes especially for one
I, intrigued, approach
and the opening of truths commence
I, indeed see ****** and revel in such
Inescapable madness of the best kind
Feeling Real Dec 2015
i'm the abandoned streets
winter's lack of heat, darkness
at 3:45 am, the moonlight reflected
on the snow, just sparkling, pulling
marijuana smoke from my lungs

i'm candy coloured lights on a fake
christmas tree, spent hours unfurling
the branches, dangling spirit unto them
without care, forcing hot chocolate down
my gullet like it was the only familial
connection i'd ever be allowed a part in

i'm the dead heat of summer, where it's
just too hard to move, and even though
the air conditioning is functioning and the
sunlight seems so pleasant, it's just too hard
to rub my whole body down with sunscreen
and find shorts to wear and find a tank top
to wear and find a way to make my sweat
appealing to anyone who might see me out walking

i'm the night time, wide awake from sun down
to sun up, doing nothing, a trance state from
moon to moon, for gods and messages from god
i'm the studying for hours for no reason except
it's something to do and i'm not tired, i'm so tired
but i'm chugging coffee cup after coffee cup and
contemplating the best time to start pretending
that my life is fine for just a moment of peace before
i allow sleep to take me, the fantasy of reality
where i am as important as i want to be, my fingers
under the covers because even though i am alone
i am ashamed i might see myself touching myself
an anti-****** where i am one with my shadow
822 · Jan 2014
capitalism
Feeling Real Jan 2014
I own the ears of a muskrat and fox fur earmuffs
with $35.00 I didn't own and didn't make
and didn't catch or **** prey, and yet I reap the benefits
Feeling Real Jan 2014
Subtle touches of spirit and body
both received and given graciously
excite an unknown itch for me to ignore
What else, I reason, are emotions for?
I don't pretend to see nothing for no purpose
Rather, to ignore the reality of it's existence
because I think in all possibilities there is a void to fill
It must be platonic, without touch and only words

I relish being alone and separate and quiet
without even the company of few
From my position, I see clearly, that is not you
You edit your gaze and attentions in my presence
where I could be constantly, if I wished
At every glance, hidden or sly, I notice
and I shrink further inside myself each time

To what end are the gestures applied to my psyche
as, certainly it must be obvious you must facilitate growth
in me, as I halt my growth at command
I do, I must because I can control it
If not myself, then anyone I meet is victim
to the matherings and manipulations of mind
I propose and then set in stone
You musn't be aware
763 · Aug 2014
Escapism
Feeling Real Aug 2014
Weary footman
Relax your vanities
Your possessions
They are mine
Leave hurriedly
Lest our minds
Also cross paths
758 · Sep 2015
Down the Depths (I)
Feeling Real Sep 2015
I just felt myself die

And every second afterwards was a reminder

Flesh is not as tempting as you made it seem

It just is a mark that escapes notice


And today I watched a suicide

Written cleanly between the lines of poetry

There were enough reason to leave me gasping

Sharing the panicked desperation of their loved ones mourning

It was pretty to watch them degrade

Their sawdust imprinted on skin

I was told to take it standing up

Far away from the floor I was tempted to decay upon

At attention I couldn’t help but to stop, drop, and roll


I learned to keep myself safe before I learned my name

Lost in translation through the years

My priorities shifted from existing to pretending I wasn’t inside my skin
part 1/3
755 · Jan 2014
Joanne
Feeling Real Jan 2014
You believe that after a time you can be free
Yet you take no steps to gain distance
between your self and your wants
You want most to want what else he wants
it's too obvious how carefully you tread
and cry for help inside of your head
741 · Jun 2015
Perfumed
Feeling Real Jun 2015
I deserve the whole ******* world
and my circumstances leave me
in trees, waiting to jump
or already crumpled leaves

It is fall in my spring
my choices are always to sit, to sleep
to wait quietly for the opportunities I need
but what ever comes is quick to leave

I feign emotion, like I care
like any of that matters
I only crave excitement and opportunity, really
the reality of existence has me believing
in a fake life

Was anything ever interesting
after the wars or the dead bodies
after the piles of ****** hot beings
after I found myself to be lacking

I'd rather die
I'd rather exalt a dangerous ruler
I'd like to attach myself to danger
I'd like to cause some sort of tremor the heart
of man

Nothing is interesting anymore
Nothing holds my attention
How many times can I read the same story
How many times can I pretend I hold affection
that I am unaffected
that I am sociable
that I care
that I am
that I exist
that I am I
I am not
I am it

I am a fake

I desire change
was gonna call this one antisocial personality disorder
720 · May 2014
Ode to Suicide
Feeling Real May 2014
I let you in at the back door
I see you need to come inside
I let you in, sure you can't go back
because my heart needs something better than to get off track
and it's time that I did what I said that I would do
before I found you
I will go, I will go
I will go where I need to be
I will throw all the things that I don't need away
I will sing, I will lie
I will walk the night
and make more money than you do 9-to-5
I will do what I need to do with my life
These things that you do every day make no sense to me
and I see through logic so **** clearly
You're ******* dumb
and you do it all alone
Feeling Real Nov 2015
See you walk in instead of leave
Like my mind says you could go
I don't hold my peace
I don't know if I should show
These things are rare but if they appear, you know
It gets hard to see - it gets hard to be, alone

That's how the fantasy goes, unclothed
We're barely speaking words
I've learned that's not how the real world goes
I wake up and pray that it's time for sleeping, though
It's easier to get high than get to thinking so
I spend all I have, the stars seem glad for me

Thanks for being there at night
Internet is faster than my heart sometimes
Ask me something, I'm feeling like
Nothing is significant
Think I want something different
Life is stark, I'm feeling innocence
Like it's me, but it must be some inner fit

My clothes are always wrinkled, too
My head's got it's own interview
I'm always speculating, someone new
They're my brand new crush, new lover
but it's not true, she's game
I'm losing time, no change
I'd rather sit and be chained
Than lose myself in that way

She's starting her dancing, nice
I join in, dim lights
She ask me to go - I can't say no
No crying in the real world
No lying if you seem hurt
I don't ask what's up
I just came to **** she
Always speculating about my life
I gave her a gift and now she's texting all night
I can't do this, I shut out the lights
I never talk back, don't ever hit send
If that's the moral I guess I'm awful interested
It's fun to lose yourself if you're not second guessing it
if you wanna rap this send me a link!
669 · Jun 2014
Lolita Woke Up
Feeling Real Jun 2014
****** woke up and said, "Let's pass some time.

I'll give you what I have, if you will take all of my sorrows away.

All of the bad, bad, days.

You can have the anxiety and my greatest mistakes."

****** woke up to share all her things

****** woke up and said, "Here, have my everything."

And he took them
643 · Nov 2015
Not Histronic
Feeling Real Nov 2015
I sometimes forget to pitch my voice up
and I lose track of my expressions and my body
And I stretch so high that my head never comes back down

Nobody talks about me anymore, and there is no relief
The way I walk still turns heads, my perfectly adept
Hair and makeup leave quite the impression
But silence follows in my wake

I am fine, not searching for attention my careful adage
I just want to make the best first impression
Heels and dresses and eyes and stomach and ***
I drink coffee for 2 out of every 4 meals
And gorge myself on all the emotions I miss out on, living
Solely out of the pocket I feel safe in, my home
A house that sits just next to a neighbor
But we never meet
626 · Nov 2014
Needy
Feeling Real Nov 2014
The most I'll get is a smile
A suggestive visual ****
Will no one touch me-
I'm contagion-free
Unless you're scared
Of my suffering
Keep it clean, it taut, it on
It lights, I'll fight for me
621 · Feb 2014
For a touchy hand
Feeling Real Feb 2014
How you waver and you tilt
while you walk or move
Images flickering behind your eyes
shadows rousing from their dens
making themselves home
The center of your life
The itch to have to get it right
You could give in, but mind is will
and body as it's follower
is of no importance to you
So you lay, awake, stretched
across all the space you can take
Your bed is solitary
The last place to take freedom
and stand your ground
Laying on the comforters,
freezing, window open
to let in winter as a gift to yourself
Because you deserve something
after putting yourself through all you do
610 · Sep 2015
Belladonna, Dear
Feeling Real Sep 2015
The poisonous woman aches
Her sinuous steps accented by her platform
Shoes higher than your pay grade
Mouth never smiling, even through her laughter

She's the demonized walker
The preferred companion and smoothest talker

If you catch her at night, the shadows swept into being
She'll wave you off without asking your offering
She'll take your cigarettes, your money, your heart
Crushing us beneath her is a pleasantry

She's the missing link
She's the entitled goddess we love to hate

This ***** knows what it is to be an object
But dear Belladonna refuses to bite
She's the purest sadist, the blue in her eyes
She's the sanguine sacrifice, ready die
insp by the book belladonna but i love the idea of great people hating themselves so look where it's brought me
609 · Aug 2014
Gramma's Dead
Feeling Real Aug 2014
Oh those dixie paper cup
Forgotten childhood love
Dead dead heart
Dead dead soul above
Wake up deary, now
Story book picture bow
A great job done
Illegal fun
Before word gets out

Someone said wake up
Someone said get out
Mirror dreams and fever parts
Damp rememberings
Softly summer breeze
With lilac smell
Feeding bees
606 · Jan 2014
Yet
Feeling Real Jan 2014
Yet
I was warned against the continuation
and the ever-growing fantasies that result in obsession
because mine and his, together, would ignite and explode
I was washed against a mirror image
wherein I only saw futures imagined
I was sure to earn only those I could let burn
How unfortunate for me, I live and bleed
because to extinguish one would warrant the other useless
and, in turn, to obtain a purpose, to draw a line
two things I can not do while tied in twine,
are all I can imagine would redeem the wretch
of thoughts I cater to for actions I now can not do
I am repeatedly told I idolize the ways of old
By smart and dumb alike, I’m told I am humourous
I am intelligent, an idol to mold into if they could
To the untrained eye I am nothing but joyous
though my final trap crept up, noiseless
and slowly, creeping, silent, I accepted this deed
wherein I allow myself to die by forgetting to feed
This end takes time and is my greed and guilt
because nobody would sympathize with a flower who chose to wilt
I was once light, the Earth’s true child
who hoped and wished for relief for a being higher
but that was once, a very long time ago
before I had dedicated years to feeling only my woe

My selfish end will come, and be just that

because no matter my weight, I am always fat.
Feeling Real Jul 2015
You look so happy dressed in chains
Sorry you didn’t have that extra second to put a bullet into your brain
They died and the police came for you
You tried but you lost the ******* game didn’t you
Ain’t it funny no one cried
Ain’t it a shame you didn’t die
I bet you planned it out like you knew what to do
I guess that’s just how it goes when life puts fight into you
Right now it’s just a dream of mine
To see their misty eyes and the “please!” and the night
That descends all around their languished cries
I might kiss them goodbye
I might **** myself before I try
Before I see the last light leave their eyes
I’ve heard it felt like I won’t feel empty inside
I like that idea, I’d like that life

Big hands, oh his hands, wrap around my neck like you’re my pretty necklace
I said I could feel **** but I was lying
All I need is the violent leanings of mean men
When did you last ******, dear
I’m still itching to find us there

Take me down when you’d like to
I know you’ve planned it all out, I don’t doubt
You’d like to take my world away
The mask will stay
I’m on my way to being someone great

Do you believe I’ve done this a hundred times
Drug you along just to feel alive, I cry empty words
I bet you’d like to see underneath that hurt
Do your damnedest, try your luck
Drink the liquor, take the ****
Take it angry, **** me up

If I’d have known I would have stopped my games
But imagine all of your longing finally reaching it’s aims
I still wish myself dead and of you the same
Do you still want to do it for me
Do you still agree
Hold a ******* gun to my head or stick it in my mouth
Watch me cry and ******* to it
Shave your whole fist down my throat
And laugh and laugh and *** and gloat

Is this the rest of my life
I feel nothing and I don’t even like to
I’m just angry that I couldn’t even if I tried to
I’m just wishing I never had a life to live through
A true crime kid ***** because of ****, ******, and glibness
People using me is where it is
590 · Nov 2014
Feeling Circular
Feeling Real Nov 2014
There was a disintegration of walls
That have bound and held for years
I, in my light pink mink fur, tell stories

Have you heard of the brick,
that just sits on street corners and outside of old buildings
It's always the same ******* brick

In my new city the traffic lulls nightly
After dark, the streetlights don't hold
Their safety is a decoration, like the snow is

I tried to trace back roots of life
I ended at the sun, so why not, should I end
Be the light that made me?
581 · Dec 2015
Contrasting
Feeling Real Dec 2015
I wake up the ghosts with the saddest songs
I can sing and I sing of desire
How nobody wants me, I'm so **** lonely
I walk down the streets and turn no head
I'm just like them

I'm all for lies if you disguise it well enough
I love to feel as long as it's all love
I've always found that darkness
Warms me more than the light
Just take me out, take me out

Let me cry

I'm the happiest when you leave me rotten
The ground is the dirt
It's me you walk in

Every kitchen floor is my bed sheet

The awful weight over me
I've always wanted to feel wanted
But it's been coming up less often

I'm the first type, the kind of girl who
Gets a taste before she bites
I'm a loose hook, a left-right
The circle-turning, your house is burning
Look at me, I'm more important
Stupid, I'm still talking kinda girl
578 · Mar 2014
The Bluest Eye
Feeling Real Mar 2014
Can I
itch or scratch me away
to reveal anything
a youth
some truths
someone else
Can I
have this essence
experience and my mind
but let go all else
reduced to naked skin
made for him and his sin
Can I
hold old ideals up
on alter, unaltered
religiously revered completely
Black and dull beyond measure
just circumstantial
by birth
and disgusted
Can I
resolve that ache
and wake, new
not prisoner of body
Self-made misery
subject to looks
and wordless stares
I
stripped of me
what am I
Can I
a slightly parting mouth
closed eyes
Shut away inside
until life redirects
and time reverses
I
No longer I
Can I
have nothing else
Recollect
No recollections
I should mention
there's no family
or ugly girl
No more to see
Pecola
I
Just I
Blue eyes
like I always knew
Can I
Creative Writing assignment. Perspective of Pecola Breedlove, a character in Toni Morrison's novel The Bluest Eye.
569 · Nov 2015
Shine on Silver
Feeling Real Nov 2015
You should be able to touch the shadows
Without losing yourself in them
You should line the edges in white marker so you don't miss it
The insistence of darkness and the pervasive
Void in your heart, just listen
When she told you, you were the only hope
The only witness left
Girls like her don't lie
Don't want for your confusion
They are the leaders
She could have been the matriarch
If she had a few more years to heal
But she embraced the shadows at the foot of the bed
Not even able to scream
It's okay, it's perfect, she's in the arms of her first love
Not able to breathe
Here you are, the years lined on your eyes
And between your fingertips
Cradling the difference in the shades
The lightness you can't bear to be
Justice for your wrongs
You try and find yourself no less a creature
You missed the transformation! You're a monster now!
You feel sickness
It's in all of your bones and blood and nobody
Will dare relieve you of the ache
No amount of distance changed anything
And he was the last hope you had
So you killed each other and you lived together
But not even shared bloodshed
Could heal the mess you made
Between your birth and the disaster you braved
I hate this but i'm keeping it up for nostalgia's sake. maybe i won't hate it when i'm 80 please don't judge me
568 · Oct 2015
Pouting
Feeling Real Oct 2015
You only care when there’s a buckshot to your back
You only pause for the delivery, the action
The match has gone up and left charred the skin

The memory is still there, from years of solidarity
The repeated visits lend the permanence
And no more than an empty lot now, I leave

There once were 2 lilac bushes and a field for my dogs
We lock them in crates now, the outside is only a bathroom

I haven’t had the heart in me to unchain them
i don't actually abuse my dogs :)
567 · May 2014
Forced Rhyme
Feeling Real May 2014
The time cascades
voluminous and at full speed
We do not stop for thought
or risk losing our place
I am the trader of all trades
We shed to give off seeds
and all I think means naught
as I've relapsed into an outer space
560 · Jun 2014
Hungry
Feeling Real Jun 2014
Designated *****
Tastes and wasted time
Waking up bored enough
To jump off a building
Listening to forty
Years of life and love
I share mine of nil
I've had my fill
Of nonsense for today
Iced-over managing me
Lied obscene moderating
Miniscule matters
Multiplied by how much I dread
The amplification
Arduous impotency
Marked on inadequately
Silence as the fall completes
550 · Jan 2014
stream of consciousness
Feeling Real Jan 2014
A funeral at 8 years old, with no attachment felt
I dissociate, realizing mortality for a moment
and fall into the monotony of routine and life
a protection of fragile ego and, possibly, sanity
A thought, inescapable, I will die. One day I will
no longer be here. So what of existence, and what that of reality?

I live in a denial of truth, lingering in my youth
far beyond what I have ever expected
I am really going to grow old and wither
My molecular structure will be the destruction
If I can't figure it manage to find a way to save myself
because when I die I'll find out absolutely nothing
*What will happen to my consciousness, all that is really me?
548 · Jan 2014
Willows
Feeling Real Jan 2014
I've met a man who has traveled the world
while I boast an intelligence I don't believe in
I talk, as if I have learned something
His eyes follow me
as if I had something for him to take
There is no information or physical form to give
I am a hollowed tree
Disgusting from the outside and mostly empty
536 · Jun 2014
Benzedrine Beaches
Feeling Real Jun 2014
Wake up and follow me home
We can't get that far when he doesn't want me
But I can't let up
He's everything that keeps me up
I'm sure I could write a novel
And package it in two or three

The best kind of love
where everybody bleeds more than once

I saw you through those old-fashioned flings
Sea-glass for Wendy and nothing for me
It began with Benzedrine
And me forgetting how to sleep

For welcome home
You just gotta shed your skin
I'm sure you could if you tried it
And if you let me in
If you let me in
Next page