Friday, April 14th ,2017 // 9:37 AM

Here’s the thing with guts.
your guts , my guts.
I hate your guts,
I want you deep inside my guts.
Guts. They make me who I am,
Indecisive.

But who isn’t?
when it comes to the boy you love, you hate him, don’t you?
Don’t tell me you love him, that’s not love.
Love is hating someone with a passion, a burning passion.
Mad at them for taking parts of you little by little,

but they spark a flame in you,
soon the red flame cools down, it’s blue.
and so you melt, you feel the smile aching,
but you can’t.

You built yourself from scratch, how can someone take all that away from you.
guts, they make me who I am.

I hate him,I love him, but I also fear him.
I can’t help but think of the agonising pain I’ll feel once he leaves me.
Don’t shame me for fearing commitment, it’s not illogical.

The amount of love I hold for him can **** once unleashed, once mistreated.
Can you imagine the damage that’ll be done once he leaves?
guts, they make me who I am.

What if I follow my guts?
I’m no longer secure
I’m no longer me
For if I was I in such predicament,
I wouldn’t let a boy infest my mind the way this one has.

So what if my guts are wrong? They make me who I am.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017 // 6:42 PM


Five One Seventeen,

First kiss, that perfect moment.
Fleeting seconds of happiness,
of pure enjoyment.

Even though you could taste the loneliness
that it all lacks commitment,
I am still willing to sell my soul for you,
Even though I need fulfilment.

But for that moment, that one enjoyment,
everything was quiet.

I saw your lips at work, it was mesmerising.
They felt so nice, so hypnotising.
They were meant to be, they were synchronising.
The rose was rising,
Everything was just so appetizing.
I did my thing, tantalizing.

Five One Seventeen,
It’s Five Nine Seventeen, & I’m still fantasizing.
But I’m only fantasizing cause you’re love is so tantalizing.
I play it over and over in my head,
When I zone out, I’m tired
Every time I lay in my bed,
Every other thought has expired.

It’s just you.
I love you.
You say it too
but do you mean it or is this some sort of deja vu ?

Pathetic.
I am pathetic.
trying to be poetic,
it’s pathetic.

Regardless, I love him
For 10 months and 5 days,
I’ve been trying to figure it out.
Why I’m so in love with him, why I’m so zoned out

Simple; It’s quicksand.
I’ve fallen, I can’t stand.
Hold my hand,
I love you.


Five One Seventeen, I’ll always love you.