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Hopefully one day you would realize its not that easy to"just be happy"
Being a loner doesn't mean I'm lonely
it just means I like being alone
They say my head doesn't work,
They say my hearing is selective,
They say I'm unmotivated,
They call me lazy,
and stupid,
and fat...
They say I need to eat less,
They say I need to get out more,
They say I need to sleep less,
They say I need to work more,
They say my 3.9 gpa isn't good enough,
They say 29 isn't high enough on the ACT,
They say I'm not trying hard enough,
They say I need to do more with my family,
They say I complain too much,
And hide in my room,
And cry too much...
They say I need better taste in friends,
They say my life hinges on doing better,
They say I need to be better,
At EVERY SINGLE THING.
They say that they wish they'd had no children,
...They say they love me...

They claim to be my parents.
*I hate figures of authority
I look into the mirror,
And see my reflection.
It has changed so much,
Changed from when I was a child.

Tears sting my eyes,
Since I don't see the same face anymore.
I'm NOT the same person anymore.
My mind isn't tiny anymore.

I see traces of my family,
Inside my eyes,
Traces of me,
Inside my words.

But I cannot be the same person
Again.
I can't love the child,
That I once was.

I always wanted to grow up,
Now that dream came true.
I could never treasure the days being a child,
I am forever doomed.

My only wish is to be young again,
Free again.
But God has made His decision,
I can never be.

And now I'm looking at a mirror,
As a flashback washes over me,
I hate myself for what I did.
I hate that I never loved me.

I only have this mirror,
To remind me of my mistakes.
But at least I can go back,
And love the way I lived.
I've always wanted to be an eight year old again, I hate that I can't go back.
The wounds of war
are, often times, hidden
from the naked eye.

Inexperience blinds
ones’ visions,
and common ears
can’t hear the screams,
as shards of flesh
are ripped away
from their
natural setting,

and eyes that close,
yet, no longer see
what, to most,
looks like
‘reality’.

For, now, through
skewed perceptions,
can only envision
moments of hell;
moments that can’t
be UN-seen
or EVER
forgotten.

A soldier who leaves,
innocent, full of ideals,
and returns home,
borne again.

A new, dark creature
has emerged;
one who no longer
speaks or comprehends
the language
or world
of the civilian.

Only understood by
the brotherhood of
those who have also
looked into
the dismal ravages...

of WAR.

Sons and Daughters
of the homeland,
risking life, limb
and sanity,
in defense of
this democracy,
pledging allegiance
to their sacred flag
and way of life.

They have stories
to tell
of epic
human depravity;
they walk in
conscious nightmares
that most, back home,
would rather never know,
and pretend do not
truly exist.

WAR bears only
wounded fruit,
and the only ‘winners’
if one can call them such,
are merely those
left breathing;

those that managed
to **** more of THEM
than they killed
of US.

Those that live
through it and
manage to return,
arrive,
filled with true
knowledge
of, both, the best
and the horrifying
the human soul
can produce.

The stories of WAR
become a second skin
one cannot drink
or wash away.

All the while,
at home,
others walk right by,
showering thanks
‘for their service’,
wishing blessings
and throwing
festive (unwanted)
parades,

while ignoring
the crippled spirits
of the broken soldiers
saluting...

dressed, in their
very best.



~ by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
Re: soldiers, war, PTSD, and nightmares
Bad ideas are my favorite ideas.
Down the dusty grey gravel road
Violet jacaranda trees blossoming
Under the clear blue skies
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