"One of the secrets of life,
is that all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others."

you are the song
i want to listen to
in that cliché and timeless
3am moment on the highway
windows rolled
down with the
potential-filled and empty
yet comforting indigo
sky blowing past,
only car on the road
just us, me with my
feet up on the dash,
fingers interlocked with
yours on my lap,
headlights illuminating
the road and trees
ahead, can’t think about
anything else except
for the pulse of the night
and cold air on my skin
and oh God
this is my life and
i feel so alive

Birth. Life. Death.
Everything comes to an end.
Seasons change, people go.
Gone will be the days of breathing.

Before this time shall come
What have you sown?
What will you leave
When it's time to go?

Depression is not sadness
Depression leaves a hole in your chest
Depression ***** everything out of you
Depression is not having a bad day. A bad day, a bad week, even a bad few months.
Depression lingers for years. There are no good moments. Moments of feeling "better" do not ever exist. Depression does not leave.
Depression will become your best friend
Depression will always be there for you
Depression is the tunnel with no light at the end
(Or at least, the point of view is)
Depression is not hope
Depression is not sadness.

Anxiety is not nervousness.
Anxiety is the sweat that bubbles to the surface of your palms
Anxiety is the clenching of your jaw
Anxiety is the shaking of your hands
Anxiety is not a few butterflies in your stomach
Anxiety removes your stomach
Anxiety makes you feel like it is not there. Food is out of the question.
Anxiety is dark circles under your eyes for months on end.
Anxiety is being over tired. Exhausted. But not being able to sleep.
Anxiety builds an Olympic racetrack around every part of your mind.
Anxiety then holds the next races there. Day races, night races, races that do not stop.
Anxiety is not one panic attack. Or even two.
Anxiety is not nervousness.

My heart has felt so much disappointment, much of it coming from my own hopes and dreams. I can't remember the last time I had the feeling of wanting to know someone so deeply and to let them know me the same. My imagination takes my mind so far into the sky that it's hard to try and land safely back on the ground.
I can't wait for the day someone will share these feelings with me, because then we won't have to ever worry about giving up our highest hopes. We'll want to take our chances, because love is blind and reckless, and just out of our reach.

a tally on my wrist
for all my fears and failures,

a curse for each time
my words go neglected.

a feeling of nostalgia
for all those that left me,

and an eternal mark on my heart,
for all the times I've felt broken.

sing me the song of your sadness
and i will harmonize,
taking your pain
and making it beautiful.

I don't know how this
cycle of anxiety
took over my life.

I’ve been around long enough
to know these wounds don’t heal.
I will wake up tomorrow
and put down half a bottle
of hydrogen peroxide,
hoping the void inside
my chest won’t get infected.
This ribcage is missing
more than just bones.
The black hole I met
in my living room
decided to stay for dinner.
He said you’re doing great.
I poured another glass
of regret and told him
that’s ironic.
I’ve realized this is just what
“okay” has become;
fists embedded in sheetrock promises,
sitting alone in the rooms where
everyone told me they would stay.