Odd, how fast it happens.
An hour ago you felt
like a man on a mission from god.
Then, it strikes like lightning
from an impossibly cloudless sky
and your heart explodes into
a confetti puff of darkness.
Suddenly you feel
like a bleached out
pile of cat **** in the rain.
"Good days and bad days
and going half mad days."
It never lasts, but that
doesn't make it any less real.
Attachment breeds suffering.
Let it go and it will,
until your next turn at bat.
Till then the sun will shine down
on the nothing new world
again for a little while.
Enjoy the warmth while it lasts.
   ~mce

How much do I love you?

Hold your breathe until you can't hold it any longer.
That feeling of wanting to breath... that's how much I love you.

Look at the ocean, and its wide expanses that you can only see a small fraction of.
The size of that ocean is as much as I love you.

Look up at the stars. There are trillions of them. There are far more than we will ever know about.
The expanse of those stars doesn't equal how much I love you.

Now look me in the eye. My eyes have seen the beauty of the world. But nothing as beautiful as you.
That is how much I love you.

I love you more than I love being able to breath, My love for you is larger than the water I need to survive. My love for you is so much more than anyone could ever understand. My love of your beauty is more than my love of any other thing to ever exist.
And that,
Is how much I love you.

When it rains I want to feel every drop.
Let it blend in with the tears I cannot seem to escape.

Because the sea will continue to be wild and unpredictable.
The birds will continue to sing freely.

And I must learn to walk alone at times.

You can't just keep popping into my life spontaneously.
Just when I think I am done having feelings for you...
You seem to just come back full swing.

**** it.

Do you know how frustrating it is to have such a connection?
To want things from another person because you feel it is right?

You don't give me the time of ******* day.
Unless you choose to.

It is always when you choose to.

I don't know what to do.

I question if I should leave you questioning where I am...
And how I am doing...
A taste of your own medicine...
To just read the messages you send me and only reply when I feel like it.

It kills me inside that there so many love songs that remind me of you.
It kills me that you're eventually going to say sorry and give some **** poor excuse as to why you have been absent in my life...

So what the **** are you?
What the **** do you want?

What the **** do I even want anymore?

and I thought I was done with sadness,

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                                                              ­              

                                              

 ­                                                                 ­                              what madness.