Until you stand in front of me
and strip away your pride
crying real tears
for the way I died inside

It’s only demons in my ears
who love to speak your name
your face never haunts my sleep
the pain is only lies
coming from the deep

Stop trying to box power
Power
Joy
Freedom
Love
All good things
start to lose themselves
when you put them into boxes
They become a little less
intended to overflow
dripping down to gild the lives around you in ways you can’t control
You can’t be filled without overflowing
You can’t be filled with controlling
pressure builds as you try to grow under a lid
So be prepared to explode
when you find freedom
don’t be afraid to watch your soul
flung about
Overflow

Love is a storm
but my sails are always full
my soul’s canvas fibers locked in place
to move me at the slightest breath of emotion
I’ve docked myself in harbor
to preserve my life
Though too all eyes
I am a worthy, ready vessel
asking for a breeze
waiting for the morning tide

Words are food to me
I open up to tender sentences
careful compliments like water in my mouth
the flowers of my soul burst forth
in shocking color
when someone I trust tells me they love me
And oh, how fast they die of poisoning
upon verbal attack
my deepest wounds
my brightest moments
were each encountered through words

God. How am I still not okay?

God. It's been so long.

God. I'm so tired of life right now.

God. What happened to me?

I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.

I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.

I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.

And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.

Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.

No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.

No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.

But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.

You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.

And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.

You cannot hunger and thirst for righteousness
until you have hungered and thirsted
To gain in spirit is to lose in flesh
No one learns a deep lesson from a place of comfort