I’ve learned to be reserved
Rather shy and somewhat quiet
Hide behind my eyelids
Confined inside my blind grid,
Died a couple times
Just keeping to my mind.

Then I’d yearned to improvise
Tried to re-divide the tide
To surf to other islands,
Mix the dough with extra spice
And then add a few more pints in,
Get high on sugar hives
Then try to find another type
Of replacement for addiction.

This life that I’ve been living
Isn’t fiction, it’s prescription
And I’ve been missing something different
Plan to switch up the script,
Spy in another way
And maybe somewhere and somehow
I’ll find true love someday.

I can't help but
Visit your page everyday,
Wishing that it won't be in vain
And I'm going insane,
'Cause I might never see you again,
You're gone like the rain that never came in the first place;
Whatever, I guess it might be better just to be forgetting your name
And forgetting your face
And the shape of your shades
And the lines across your waist
And your Instagram page
And the time we met at summer school,
The way the teacher called your name
So I turned and saw your face
And the sunlight on your shades
And the shirt on your waist
And so I went home to find your Instagram page
And I've been addicted every single day,
But now to find out that you were already taken away
Ever since I knew you;
It's a beautiful pain.

She had already broken me before,
But I was filled with dread
When I heard she was with
Someone else

Kettle burns black,
The sun is still invisible
Though the night seem soon over,
Fridge left ajar,
Honey to the right,
But the bitter fight has not yet begun
For this cold war may never be won;
Hands keep frigid,
The clock is still unplugged
Though the time may be five,
Pen left clicked,
Paper right beside,
But the blank parchment has not yet diminished
And perhaps this poem will never be finishe

The deep hum
Near the end of the
Shadowed hallway
Beckons.

Shall you follow
The note that leads you forward?

Where else to go
But the place that
Calls for you?

Comfort is heard
In the dark tone.

Your path awaits
an action.

Though the flame may flicker
Perhaps it can linger,
If not only for another hour,
For then my passion dies
As I can no longer see the parchment
On which I write.

You snipped the strings of my puppetry
Let me free and claimed apologies
But never sent a response,
Never angry, no more thoughts
Emotions left you in the frost
Heart went numb and soul was lost
And I tried to save you,
Warmed you up and up you got
And left the heat that helped your cause
Snipped his strings off with your claws
Destroyed him with your deadly maw
Taking bites, fangs lined your jaw
Leaving what you never saw
Dressed in red and wrapped with dread
And left, dead and raw,
But you never said why you'd be gone.

I still await your response.

Love does not mean leave

Nor do the winds of the world
Try to push people away

Nor does the arrow
Try to narrowly miss its target

Nor do I
Try to love you

I guess it just happens.

Simply put, you're an enigma,
An oxymoron in the least,
My memories of you are less than few
Yet your presence lasts more than weeks.
Formerly I knew you,
But now you've gone away
And I cannot account a single time
I thought you wouldn't stay.
Mistakenly I lent you interest,
Withheld a sliver of your time,
However, never did I realize
That not ever could you be mine.

Lovesick leads to love struck
And loving leads to great luck.

There were times that I slept
As nothing greater nor nothing less
But when the times came that I dreamt
There was no way to supress
My thoughts of you as something more...
Until every color finally digressed
And I was left, staring
At your outline.

It was among the sunset that our eyes met,
I had expected a cold blue or the green of leaves,
But instead, all that returned my glance
Was all the same as what I was used to,
A brown; not fierce nor bland nor bold,
But strange, in a sense, that it was so normal
Yet so compelling.

It has been twenty years
Since last those eyes met mine
And I often wonder
If the ghost in my shell
Might ever see
The sunset again;

Without your eyes to distract me.

You called me a masterpiece,
A piece of art in coral reefs,
Me, swimming through this darkened sea
With eyes of blue and tears of green;
And when you saw the one you'd see,
You'd call him a masterpiece,
But I was never meant to be,
And you were such a masterpiece
To me.

She didn't think I cared
My tears defend my case
As I wait for an ending
Of my life that will erase
All memory of myself
But more importantly of her
But with all that I've lost
I'd be sad to last
Another year.

I like to watch other people,
Be aware of their surroundings,
Never my own,
Always alone,
Wanting to be
More.

We're all ants in our little farm
Rotated by the axis of the galaxy;
Our grip is impeccable no matter the angle
Hoping to hold on infinitely
To the small part of existence we are
So maybe the toddler holding us
Can remember how big he is
Watching his ant farm of humans.

The longer the time
And the farther the distance
I distance myself
From my ink and my pen,
Restlessness sets in;

And yet,
Where, now, are my words?

Growing, shrinking,
Stepping, blinking,
Shaking, breathing,
Chest is heaving;

For you,
A new city awaits.

I want a relationship
But I'm not sure I'm ready
My mind's not steady
And I lie in bed
Thinking about the dead space
Thinking there will be someone
In place of the void
With a face I won't avoid.

Looking for an antidote
To love and to heartache,
You would suffice.

You are as bright as a sunflower,
As cold as the night,
Sheathed in a haze of smoke
That spirals in front of
Your eyes of jade,
With beauty that compares to none.

If only there so happened to be
A way to rewrite the book
That I would never appear in.

The tide takes troubled tumbles
Through the times that tell timely tales
Of other old oceans
Or ordeals of older objects
Before bubbling brooks
Broke before broken beings.

It is within the flowers of evil
That beauty can lie
Amongst forces of the dark,
Ugly in their untouched form,
Yet, once explored,
Such an alluring thought
To look inside.
And perhaps that attention
Will lead to one's demise
As the petals rest, detached,
Core completely exposed,
Human drunk on its nectar;
Beginning to fade away.

Strike bright like the light
That enters the still room,
Ceiling painted in dark blue
And floor splattered with patterns
Of hypnotic lines
Wavering in the patchy rays;
Perhaps closing the blinds
May let one find night
In case of yet another day.

Her sapphire eyes reflect the ocean to the moon.
She causes the tide to bring me to see her beauty.
And when I get there I sit and stare, prepared for what she'd tell me.
She bats an eye and starts to cry and holds me near her soul.
I follow her luring line and quiver in her hold.
She lets me go upon the ground and starts to walk away.
I know I'd never get that high with her another day.

Words become fewer,
Thoughts less unique
And rather simple now indeed;
Maybe the autumn breeze
Will help me eaze up
And find some better rhymes.

Empty is my heart
That floats upon the horizon
Waiting for something to weigh it down,
But that weight never stays,
My heart shall drift again
Higher and higher yet
Waiting for someone to weigh it down.

I'm broken;

Flattered,
Great to see it mattered
That a man outside his shell
Would have to witness all your hell
And kneel before the devil
Before the devil ever cared
About him;
Limited at first
Until even that dispersed
And I was alone,
Broken.

I'm wasting my time
With waiting and painting these words
On a canvas that turns

I can never wait for each day to end
Because I anticipate tomorrow's arrival
And to see her again;
Yet the time takes too long
To get there

You're parasitic,
So acidic
You burn through my tongue
And deflate my lungs,
But you're always there
And I always care
Even though you're nothing more than
Spare feelings I thought I needed.

"Stay broken
There's a reason things are unwanted"

The stoked charcoal turns into smoke just to evaporate like a ghost
I'm just a phantom of your rusted conscience
Any more thought and you'd break
We'd be together, but it doesn't matter
Your master is no longer on the ladder
You detached his tattered hands
For him to fall to mossed-over spikes to lie and die
Alone

You broke me
I'll follow your last request
I'll make sure to stay shattered
I have always followed my mind
So why betray you now, master

Time; it never gains,
Nor ever does it once lose,
Momentum; at all

If sleep became eternal tonight
I wish you'd come to know
You were the remedy
That I ran out of;
Farewell.

If dead flesh disintegrates
Then why am I still here
Why do I still wait
When no part of me
Ever worked in the first place

Cracked skulls lie shattered upon intact glass
Battered yet still an unshadowed attempt at life holds true
Silica outlines shine like pearls they strived to be
They'll make their best efforts to thrive unlike me

I am the dead man on a cloud of see-through lies
All my previous lives, cracked skulls

It's time to try
It's not yet time to die

Again

Is religion truly a theory or a hypothesis?

Can anyone truly be satisfied
Or only reach it when they die
Lay down and shut their eyes
And drift to hope to reach the sky

I can not vouch for purity,
For innocence,
Since blood streaks tainted my cheek;
Bullet wound in my chest,
Shot as either a glare or stare
From thine eyes to the weak

Tired tugs the gashed out eye
Slain from the poison of an ocean
Warm yet still the dead beast lies
Drowned by an endless potion

Tears swell on the dawn,
Set to die before the angel arrives
Because to cry in her presence
Would be a sin in the eyes of a wife;
Dawn blinks, they cease,
And tomorrow, today will repeat.

Does an empty heart deserve to be filled?
Should a broken heart become mended?

As empty as can be, mine's broke.
And I wonder if you'll be the one to fix it.

You're so selfless,
Picture perfect in your essence,
Your future and your presence,
Sketching scribbles with your red pen,
Your ink and your corrections, permanent,
Like the letters that you sent,
Kept inside a pink ribbon,
Brighter than the sunset,
Vibrant like a sunrise,
Priceless like the sun sweat,
The golden glare that shines,
A stream that drenches me wet
With the letters of your name that I will never forget.

The list of love
That each person has obtained
Does not run as long
As the list I would send
To Santa each December,
Does not run as wide
As the rivers I waded
As a child,
Does not run as deep
As that clod of dirt
That got stuck in my heel,
Does not run as pure
As the Christian roots
With which I started,
Does not run as white
As the granite ball
That sits upon my window sill,
But there has been
One person among each event
That may just fit the list.

If those who suicide are selfish,
Can't you also say that for the living?

I follow someone else's tragedy
And I'm willing to mend it
But the emptiness reflected
Was as lonesome as the one before.

I seem to have forgotten
We are dead.

I depart into the downpour.
You cannot hear each step I trod,
Nor can you smell the petrichor
That resonates beneath my feet;
Feet that were seldom worn
Yet often used.

Maybe your answer isn't clear
Cause you're not in the equation
Or the problem at hand
Puts your pencil into frustration
So your brain takes a break
And you go inside your mind
To try to divide the lies
That you think that you can hide
When in reality your time
Is slipping through your midline
It starts a rapid decline
Then tries to make a 'v' line
To bounce back to the high life
That you wish you'd have once met.
So next time don't forget
There's something you need to clear,
The thoughts that try to enter
Your broken heart's interior.

The longer you linger on my mind
Resides louder the jarring thought: "hatred".
To think that similar synonyms
Could never have previously left my mouth
Was simply a mistake.
You were angelic, a muse at least,
But now the idea of you has turned into
A rusted tombstone littered with dust.
I have learned to despise rather than admire,
Turned from your eyes rather than inquire,
And, perhaps, may yearn to retry rather than conspire...
In a different timeline.

I smiled the uncertainty only a foreigner could muster.
Farewell.