I’ve learned to be reserved
Rather shy and somewhat quiet
Hide behind my eyelids
Confined inside my blind grid,
Died a couple times
Just keeping to my mind.

Then I’d yearned to improvise
Tried to re-divide the tide
To surf to other islands,
Mix the dough with extra spice
And then add a few more pints in,
Get high on sugar hives
Then try to find another type
Of replacement for addiction.

This life that I’ve been living
Isn’t fiction, it’s prescription
And I’ve been missing something different
Plan to switch up the script,
Spy in another way
And maybe somewhere and somehow
I’ll find true love someday.

There are some times
I wish for independence;
To be able to fly
And leave at any time
And come back at record speed
As if time never mattered at all.

I remove my lioncloth from atop the fireplace
It was meant to dry over the night
But now, like my soul, it is burnt to a crisp
The fire burns like a liquid
As if my heart were being scalded and drowned.
I would plead for a day off
But hell is relentless, as people perceive it
There are no weekends and no time for a break.

For now, it is time to suffer
Until eventually I can escape.

Time is the capsule that closes around us
As you don't see the gap between
Both times each day that
The clock strikes twelve.

It is the restraint
To deny continuance of progress
And to steal our train of thought
To reverse the train's direction
Until we can turn it around again.

It is temptation of
The sleep we crave
And an attempt
To take away our temptation
Within what seems
Like a few seconds.

I can't track the time
When this capsule constrains my eyes
To the paper ahead of me
Just to tear it up overnight.

This pill is the distraction
To keep me from knowing
When to leave or when to find out
What to do with my life
When all I can ever do
Is learn to restart a day
That will not end.

I am a slave to the time that holds me here
And the only thing keeping me here is time.

The largest star shines midday
While the others are its encore
The bigger man walks away
And the others are just followers.

Tonight's midnight lies in darkness.
Light's absence puts cities into chaos
Stringing absent minds with broken time
Just for sun to arise to cause a chaotic demise
Of the chaotic life of tonight's midnight.

My eyes feel of those who just wept,
But I've just only woken up.
I remove my covers and toss them back on the bed,
No bother in making them neat.
I head toward my door,
Ignoring the light switch,
And begin downstairs.
There I meet them,
Face to face,
Loneliness.

Love can be as the world presents it
It can be upon a marvelous marble platter
Or it can be as people most experience it
It will be with you wherever you go
As true love is meant to be

There's a fine line between
The people you understand
And those you have a crush on,
You only know one of them loves you back.

If dead flesh disintegrates
Then why am I still here
Why do I still wait
When no part of me
Ever worked in the first place

The tide takes troubled tumbles
Through the times that tell timely tales
Of other old oceans
Or ordeals of older objects
Before bubbling brooks
Broke before broken beings.

It's a blur;

Fifteen years of spiraled thoughts
Multiple strands of DNA
Some have been destroyed,
Others grew stronger
But the present is where the remnants lay.

Only when you're dead
You'll understand that you've been
Wounded all along

Up to ten I hadn't known life
I hadn't known love
I hadn't breathed
And then the seas rolled in
As if I were just to learn to swim.

My parents split.
I wasn't able to explain what I felt
I didn't know what I felt
I had become numb to
The feelings I used to have.

A few years passed.
Depression isn't just for drama
It's from the stress I've endured
When someone else could have been in my place,
They wouldn't be able to feel.

I struggle to think life
Could be served on a lukewarm plate
With a side of joy
When my dish is raw; cold
And the only side is lies.

Illness kills many
It's taken my life as well
But I'm still breathing

Words can't explain the awkward silence
Shed by two pairs of dying eyes.

How are words so feeble
Yet they linger in your heart
For years after the accident occurred
When the voice has disappeared
And only crushed fragments remain.

Her silhouette flickers in the moonlit meadows
The draped dress drags behind her
Her cheeks wet with past mistakes' cries
Or maybe the moisture came from the weather

I would always think of her,
Every night we'd cry our pain
And say that we were both dying
But only one of us ever did,
And I never told her
How I felt.

Dusk stirs the breeze of autumn
Spun to a sudden halt as night approaches
Waves of light appear before him
Those of villagers carrying torches
And within little time the morning comes
Dawn settles on top again
And when the sun will settle
Neither Dusk nor Dawn will win.

Her sapphire eyes reflect the ocean to the moon.
She causes the tide to bring me to see her beauty.
And when I get there I sit and stare, prepared for what she'd tell me.
She bats an eye and starts to cry and holds me near her soul.
I follow her luring line and quiver in her hold.
She lets me go upon the ground and starts to walk away.
I know I'd never get that high with her another day.

The absence of your second half stalls you,
Your gears screech to a halt
As you cry raindrops into your worn pillow
And await a day that they'll return.

They've left you for another life,
Perhaps it'll be warmer.

Time is the enemy of many,
Scurrying to get to work
While flurries of the day still spurt
From worried smiles of anxious flirts
To elders' curry spiced with dirt,
In a blur the aching time still hurts
My fury that your heart is dead
Or maybe it's all inside my head.

When time will come to learn to fade
My life will drift upon each day
Although rugged the crust may seem
My soul will start to sink beneath
And if I tried to start to breathe
My shattered heart's attached to me
But now it's time for me to leave
So farewell now my mind must speak

I don't know what to say at this point, what to do, I'm so conflicted
Distant at this point my eyes and soul aren't very different
You don't get to critize me if you can't even let me in
Yet you talk about your future as if living's a sin
You're probably more organized than me so, explain as best you can
If you've got time to spare then I'll let you understand
I mean for someone I consider a friend who gives a ****
I'm willing to talk if you stop heeding each command

Friends can be as fragile as a bubble,
Sharp as a pin,
Or as hurtful as the needle that pierces my skin
Trying to sew back the delicate petals of a flower.

They can be as dumb as a rock
Or used as a coin
Or a melted block of ice
That fire tried to join.

A match that strikes the box
To turn some wood into ash,
Squeeze you like a sponge
Try to erase all our past.

Chip you like it's golf
Or smack you with a racket in our short game of tennis,
Pelt you with a snowball, pretend you won't feel it happen
Didn't think your building blocks were stagnant.

Mark you with a pencil
Scribble it out with pen,
Rip the leaf that's floating
Shed a teardrop at the end.

Does an empty heart deserve to be filled?
Should a broken heart become mended?

As empty as can be, mine's broke.
And I wonder if you'll be the one to fix it.

Eerie silence falls over the incognito smiles of broken hearts;
You shudder, aware of what the winter has brought.
Wind brings the news of death;
A single crow creates an encore.
The tomb brings the grins to tears
And cements all false positivity to bedrock.

Your soul floats among the crowd,
Your bread encaptured in stone,
Your face, smiling.

You've been freed.

She didn't think I cared
My tears defend my case
As I wait for an ending
Of my life that will erase
All memory of myself
But more importantly of her
But with all that I've lost
I'd be sad to last
Another year.

My life is stapled into an unending chain,
The whole strand of DNA, a virus.

I'm trapped in a realm
That only hell itself would spawn,
That of aching hearts and
Swelling scars and burning parts
Of me that I thought should never hurt;
But I've been pierced,
And it takes a while
For the harpoon to bring me in.

There's nothing that I miss more
Than our one last broken kiss.

I follow someone else's tragedy
And I'm willing to mend it
But the emptiness reflected
Was as lonesome as the one before.

I seem to have forgotten
We are dead.

The drips of past memories
Rust before the ground holds them,
A grip to keep them still
To let them drown
In a puddle of past lives
Under a surface of false tides
Within a lake of rusted knives

My heart's lovestruck
Stuck with the stuff she's put me through
And asked to make do
With the falling crumbs of a broken relationship,
Warm and sweet til cold and stale
Or it falls apart completely
And it's like it was never there in the first place.

Your journey splits into branches
Upon a dirt path of nurtured soil
Where your roots once grew.
Some live and others have passed,
Whether completely buried among a thriving colony
Or still visible, but pitiful.
Your trunk is large and round
But all the details are what make you unique;
The bike it grew through,
The swing bolted to your childhood,
The pests of society crawling all over you.

Your leaves are brown.
All you can remember is her name and yours.
And as time goes on,
I wonder which leaf will fall first.

Your possessions, extinct
Your presence, absent
My heart, shriveled
My life, wounded
Our time, finished
Our love, broken

Keys trigger non-permanent feelings
Erasable, unlike the time you've spent
While I type the time I've been meaning to have
Sitting at a desk in a place where I'm drowning
Amidst the lines of media

I do miss you, it's true.

I can't pull myself together.
The situation's kinda dire
And there's no substance
For mending broken hearts
Assuming you could
Even reach that far inside me
Just to see the shade
Match that of a smoker's lungs
And realize a deal with the devil
Is not one you want to break.

I do miss you, it's true,
But I miss us too
And spite destroys the user
Before it even takes its toll
On the corrupted angel's halo
And the being contained within.

Farewell.

I slowly begin to disappear as your memory fades, slowly.

The wrath of the rain pelts his leather skin
Helmet on the barren seat left of him
Grabbing a breath from the local diner
While his worn partner suffers
Shut out in the cold; off.

One life's learnings distilled into a book,
The offsetting chartreuse cover
Covered with dust of decades
I seem to have forgotten
Due to my life's coming to a close.
I read the last page, hands filthy
Then drown in a final cleansing
And purification of my life.
The pages detach and evaporate;
The cover floats to a new shore
With its new sky blue hue
And human to master it.

Heart gashed from your rusted blade
Infection still spreads
The open wound does not heal

There came a night I thought I found love.
The covers warm and the scent of fruit
Lingering where empty space seemed filled.
It mystified me when the next morning
Was as lonesome as the one before
And I sat by myself, waiting for the sun to give me hope.

Selfish are the humans who want to be remembered
Those that try their best to impact someone else
Whether through intents of knowing someone
Or feeling obligated to protect them
Selfish are the humans who live
Selfish are the humans who die
Selfish are the humans

We're all ants in our little farm
Rotated by the axis of the galaxy;
Our grip is impeccable no matter the angle
Hoping to hold on infinitely
To the small part of existence we are
So maybe the toddler holding us
Can remember how big he is
Watching his ant farm of humans.

There came a time where I despised my presence.
Present on week days only when I gave a ****.
I lived with it and hadn't cared about
What time lunch was or when I had to figure life out.
I was ill.

Someone always stood on the side
To analyze my eyes every time that I cried.
Yes, I'm talking about a teenage crush;
I was stuck and she was able to see who I was.
She was sick.

Our infection grew between us.
We'd seen that it never burst.
And our connection seems to hold strong,
Her love and my endurance.
We are dead.

Together.

The thought I once hefted far above me fell to scatter on the floor,
But glue exists,
And I'm willing to mend it
As long as you're able to help.

I've got strung up, stuck in the cobwebs of life
As dead as the fly that thinks he has a chance of surviving.
While dying, he's crying out the sights of his dreams;
Nightmares strike his mind like a flood of the sea.
Trying to surf on a tidalwave of tangled emotions
When the ocean still fights him to try to keep him from floating.
Drowning in a master's spindled masterpiece,
Suffocating me through the most perfect technique;
Solitude.