putting on a mask of happy and excited
all the time, never being tired
because it would confuse people
but, it's exhausting
always acting like you have triple the energy you do
having to always be the one who pushes people
the trains out of fuel to the top f the mountain
to be the bright optimistic one in a sea of pessimism
its tiring, its draining
but its what we people must do
because no one else will
because they have not seen their darkest lows
and had to be their own bright light at the end of the tunnel
a light people follow

you always come back
but the timings never right
but maybe this time it is
but i'm torn
between certainty and spontaneity
my mind says don't hurt him
my mind says stop
my mind makes me feel guilty
but my hearts torn in two
because i care for him so much
but im sure its always been you
for four years i looked longing at the unattainable
and now that you are attainable i don't know what to do
I always said what if
but never thought it through

I can be tired too
I am in fact human
I do indeed feel sleepiness
I do indeed feel sorrow
but why dwell on sorrow if we are not promised tomarow

my family always said you were bad news
I never believed them
I always stood up for you
even when you stood me up

I'd say your going through rough times
but we all knew it was an excuse
cause, I was going through some **** too
but I was always there for you

you were only there when you had an audience
or when I finally got to the fence
of I'm done with your *******
that's when I would take the hardest hit;
when i thought you were you again
but realized the girl I once new is irretrievable

So I'm done
I'm done with your games
being an extra in your show
a side character when the plot gets boring
I'm done being an understudy of a friend
I'm done withe this show
so close the curtain
this time i'm certain
I've torn of the script
I've got rid of all the ties
I'm done I'm sick and tired of your ******* and lies
goodbye

a long time ago i wrote about the feeling of  being over you...

I am now
Or rather, I'm pretending to be
You still make my heart strings chime
but your ears are clogged with dark memories
and I understand, I do
but i need you to understand
that I will never be over you
But i need to act like real people do
so I'll fake it till i make it
and someday you will too

cabinet doors left open
cake mix on the counter
a board game half finished
family portraits hang on the wall
laundry folded in neat piles to be put away
everything is still, silent
not a breath, nor a soul
like everyone just vanished
their laughter hangs in the air
like the portraits on the walls
their shadows still strewn across the floor
but nobody's home

A man's intelligence is not measured by the number of words knows
but he uses them

People build fortresses
High and mighty
walls that tower above the trees
Walls that can be seen from across the see
These walls that we build
they keep people out
our secrets inside
but it gets dark
and lonely
with no one inside

no one to hold you when you cry
so when you build your walls high and mighty
build a door
with a lock and key

its silly
I know it is
but i can't help but to wonder
what if?
What if you two weren't together?
What if on the slim chance that would happen,
you'd fall for me?
What if, the world just stopped
and it was just us
What if!
what if i said I love you
what if what i'm saying is the truth?
What would you say?
I love you too?
what if  my what if
leaves me alone and aloof?

A blanket of white silences the town
like everyone is laying in a comforter of down
as if it is night
yet, it is day and it is bright
The snow flakes fall gently
like children fall asleep

3 wishes
one two three,
can't ask for anymore
so call me evil for not wishing for world peace
but would you like to live like dirt?

we are human
at least that's what we like to call our selves
Without war
there's nothing to fight for
Take away the fight
and you take away our nature

we are human
we need to fight, we want more
we have an undying compassion
so we wish for things that can't happen

So yes! you can most certainly wish for world peace,
but you take away the fight in you and me

you say that I'm pasty
but what keeps things together better than glue?
you say I'm odd
well so is number one
so I guess I'm number one to you
you say I'm crazy
so was Einstein
you say I'm a *****
others would say I'm just more mature than you
you say,
you say...

I don't care what you say