putting on a mask of happy and excited
all the time, never being tired
because it would confuse people
but, it's exhausting
always acting like you have triple the energy you do
having to always be the one who pushes people
the trains out of fuel to the top f the mountain
to be the bright optimistic one in a sea of pessimism
its tiring, its draining
but its what we people must do
because no one else will
because they have not seen their darkest lows
and had to be their own bright light at the end of the tunnel
a light people follow

Have you ever Heard a silence
so deafening It screams

How about a room so empty
Your crowded thoughts consume you

A love so strong
You wonder if its even true

A man so perfect
You can't believe he chose you

A sky so blue
You wonder the name of the hue

A heart so pained
That its numb

A love so true
Theres no way it was meant for  you

you always come back
but the timings never right
but maybe this time it is
but i'm torn
between certainty and spontaneity
my mind says don't hurt him
my mind says stop
my mind makes me feel guilty
but my hearts torn in two
because i care for him so much
but im sure its always been you
for four years i looked longing at the unattainable
and now that you are attainable i don't know what to do
I always said what if
but never thought it through

It was always so obvious
That our act Was never an act
But the materialization of desire

Everyone knew, but we were blind
Too scared we would mess up
Too scared the other was out of reach
Too scared of denial

When in reality the other was feeling it too
The urge to say i love you and mean it
The urge to grab the other at lowest point
pull them up to be the skyscraper they are
The way we always saw eachother

We always yearned to hold one another
Empty space between our arms
Filled with people of lesser affection
Until we could no longer deny the truth
The urge to hold hands and say i love you
Too strong to fight. false affecions
started to smothered our light

So we let go of what we thought we knew
And reached for the unknown
An unknown Truth of i love you

a long time ago i wrote about the feeling of  being over you...

I am now
Or rather, I'm pretending to be
You still make my heart strings chime
but your ears are clogged with dark memories
and I understand, I do
but i need you to understand
that I will never be over you
But i need to act like real people do
so I'll fake it till i make it
and someday you will too

cabinet doors left open
cake mix on the counter
a board game half finished
family portraits hang on the wall
laundry folded in neat piles to be put away
everything is still, silent
not a breath, nor a soul
like everyone just vanished
their laughter hangs in the air
like the portraits on the walls
their shadows still strewn across the floor
but nobody's home

A man's intelligence is not measured by the number of words knows
but he uses them

People build fortresses
High and mighty
walls that tower above the trees
Walls that can be seen from across the see
These walls that we build
they keep people out
our secrets inside
but it gets dark
and lonely
with no one inside

no one to hold you when you cry
so when you build your walls high and mighty
build a door
with a lock and key

its silly
I know it is
but i can't help but to wonder
what if?
What if you two weren't together?
What if on the slim chance that would happen,
you'd fall for me?
What if, the world just stopped
and it was just us
What if!
what if i said I love you
what if what i'm saying is the truth?
What would you say?
I love you too?
what if  my what if
leaves me alone and aloof?

A blanket of white silences the town
like everyone is laying in a comforter of down
as if it is night
yet, it is day and it is bright
The snow flakes fall gently
like children fall asleep

3 wishes
one two three,
can't ask for anymore
so call me evil for not wishing for world peace
but would you like to live like dirt?

we are human
at least that's what we like to call our selves
Without war
there's nothing to fight for
Take away the fight
and you take away our nature

we are human
we need to fight, we want more
we have an undying compassion
so we wish for things that can't happen

So yes! you can most certainly wish for world peace,
but you take away the fight in you and me

you say that I'm pasty
but what keeps things together better than glue?
you say I'm odd
well so is number one
so I guess I'm number one to you
you say I'm crazy
so was Einstein
you say I'm a *****
others would say I'm just more mature than you
you say,
you say...

I don't care what you say