loving you is a constant ache
a constant shiver
and a constant wake

loving you is as hard as crying in silence
as running forever
as running in water

the clock says it’s 2am
so 2am it is
to everyone,
but not to me

how selfish would it be
to keep counting my days
when you’re not
when you can’t
when you won’t

i miss walking home to you
even tho you were never inside

there was you in the moon
from my window
when i stargazed the sky

there was you in the pages i wrote
with the intention
of getting you out of my nights

there was you in the bedsheets
that held a shivering body
full of “neverminds”

there was you in the keys of my piano
that caught me hum through the cries

i felt you everywhere
cause there was you in my mind.

i have a bad feeling
about never seeing you again
little child whining
right over your head
big girl pining
in my big girl bed