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Emma Livry Dec 2015
Your love is so much more than a burden.
A pardon.
An excuse to cut me down when you want.

And I'm done trying to piece it all together
For better
Because the worst comes along when I'm with you.
Emma Livry Jan 2015
On Monday I feel close to death.
Tuesday and Wednesday stay in bed.
Thursday I found out what you said
But it's Friday, I fell out of love.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
Saturday's pleasant
Glow lightened the harsh shadow
Of Friday's mistakes.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
You cannot rely
Solely on the beatings of
Hearts for a response.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
In my life I have
Felt pain in my heart until
I met your kind self.
Emma Livry Jan 2014
You don't walk in straight lines.
You curve and weave and go right through where you want.
It reminds me of the time you decided to write on your arm.
You didn't need any ink,
"That's what the blood is for," you said.
"Have you ever done this before?"
No I hadn't,
But you convince me I've been through enough to want to.
You had me under the influence,
But the "influence" is much bigger than drugs.
Emma Livry Jan 2016
Six thousand five ***-
dred and twenty nine days I
Have lived on this sphere.
Emma Livry Mar 2017
I longed to be strikingly beautiful
But then I realized that's not what you liked.
You were beyond mediocre, but you loved subtlety.
Forgotten at an art museum
Wandering slowly
I take my time so that I do not miss anything
The way that I miss you.
I don't demand any attention
Or affection
Because I cannot command it.
Some dedications are sincere
Others are made to satisfy an ego.
I just hope that mine means enough
To flatter you.
I realize I am not valuable,
But I must be worth something,
Emma Livry Apr 2016
You came to borrow
But only stole
The things of sorrow
And made them gold.

Time is so fleeting
But never ends
So for our next meeting
Let us be friends.

You claimed to love
And give affection
But from above,
I see perfection.

It never is
Just as it seems
And you always
See my bursting seams.

You make me strong
And feel at ease
I know it's not wrong,
So just love me please.
Emma Livry Apr 2017
There are roses on her ceiling,
But you're climbing through the stars.
She can feel your every footstep
Along the pathway to get back into her arms.

They keep tugging on her eyelids,
And trailing down along her cheeks.
You tried to keep the whole thing quiet,
But it's already been six whole weeks.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
The current existence
Excited the reckoning
With blissful swarms of
Bleak kisses on
Troubled judgement.
Part 4
Emma Livry Dec 2014
You follow me everywhere I go.
Not a single day passes where I don't see you.
I want you to get out of my life
get out of my head
And leave me alone
Forever this time.
Emma Livry Jul 2017
And everyday
My bones break my fall
From sanity
Into love.
5:04 pm
Emma Livry Oct 2017
No matter what I write
It's BS
Sometimes it's a little better
When I wait to add the title
At the end.
That's what I'm doing now
And I am certain it is going to be...
Emma Livry Aug 2017
I really want to commit.
It's so hard
You have such a beautiful mind
But it's so twisted
I know I can't trust you
And I know I can't make you better
I can't fix you
So I know I really should
Commit you.
Emma Livry Nov 2017
Don't date a boy
With a common name.
If (when) things go wrong
You'll hear his name everywhere.
Boys with common names
Are commonly the ones
Who'll break your heart.
Emma Livry Jun 2017
­                  constantly
                                    ­                                             you      dragging
  ­                                                                 ­            to                     me
                                                              ­               opposed              d
                                          ­                                 at as                          o
                                   ­                                      to be                             w
                                ­                                       supposed                         n. . .
The                                                            ­   I'm                                       
     only                                                      baselin­e
      reason I                                             to the
           thought                                     me back
                I loved                                to get
                       you                            order
                         was                       made in
                            because           my body
                                of the        response
Emma Livry Jan 2016
You are the only one who can make me happy,
Yet you are the only one close enough to cause me pain.
Is it worth it?
Emma Livry Jan 2014
Temptation came in sliding on his knees asking, “Will you dance with me?”

He didn't say “hello”, or “wow it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”. Just a simple question. He stayed on his knees waiting for an answer, but he didn’t get one quickly. After I stumbled on my words for what seemed like forever, I finally managed a yes.

The band just finished playing. The owners turned on a CD for people to waltz to, and the floor was already crowded with smiling couples and stumbling beginners.

“You are going to lead me the whole time, okay?” I asked him, but it was more of a demand. I remembered talking to him about this place and I knew he came here a lot. We had never danced together, but I had always wanted to dance with him.

“Do you even know how to waltz?” he asked.

“I do ballet. Of course I know how to waltz.” I managed to say with more confidence than I knew I had. The memories from last summer were unfurling inside my brain and I thought I was about to explode. I didn’t think I could manage another word but I surprise myself by asking how he was.

“Oh, I’m pretty good. I ship out in June. You can’t believe how much I want to leave this place,” he said. I tried looking into his eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He was holding his gaze directly on me, but when I tried looking into his eyes, I had to look away. After all this time, I forgot their color. He then said, “Loosen up, darling. You’re so tense.” he flipped our arms around and twirled me quite a bit and I was getting lost, but he is a very good leader. He was holding my hands firmly, yet it was still gentle and we ended up with our hands over our heads. “Bend backwards,” he instructed, so I did. He lowered me down into a dip and I finally looked directly into his eyes. How could I forget that they are exactly the same color as mine?

Our faces were only but three inches apart; about a year ago, we were at a place where those three inches wouldn’t even exist. He lingered there for only a second more before I broke our gaze and he decided to briskly raise me back up and continue the waltz.

“You are really tense; loosen up,” he said again. It made sense, I have a habit of holding my breath when faced with temptation, but he just continued smiling at me.

“Sorry, I’m used to holding myself all the time.”

He just looked around the room and then dipped me again and whispered in my ear, “I’ll hold you.”

I wanted to hit him. Did he forget what happened last summer? Because I did not. I flashed back to where we were. Sitting on the rocks next to the creek that leads into the larger river. He was playing his guitar and singing me the song he wrote for me. It was cliché, but at the time it was a sweet gesture. His voice was always angelic to me. From the first time I heard him sing until the last time, which ended up being this day.

When he finished singing the song, I couldn't find any words to say. I just sat there and then he leaned over and kissed me. This wasn't the first time he kissed me, but it was different from the first time. The first time was at church and was really short. This kiss was, well, not short at all.

He brought me back up to standing and whisked me across the floor. He kept leading me and twirling me and switching our arms around. The waltz still continued and so did our conversation. I looked up at him occasionally and he was still looking at me. Throughout the dance, we drifted closer and closer together. I didn't notice when it was happening, but in this moment I realized that there was almost no space between us.

“You know, I bet my boyfriend’s pretty mad,” I said. I looked over at him. He was sitting on a bench glaring in my general direction, so I turned around abruptly and then my dance partner got a peek at him.

He laughed at the fact that he was glaring at us and then leaned in even closer to tell me something through his smile, “My girlfriend is watching too, but them watching us just makes it more fun.”
Emma Livry Nov 2014
But I know I am not good enough,
Nor will I ever be,
So thinking about that makes me cry,
And I don't like that,
For it makes me uncomfortable,
Or I just can't stop crying,
Yet sometimes that's okay.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
The coarse betrayal
Harkened an awakening
Of mind and body through
Enlightenment of
Existential crises.
Part 5
Emma Livry Dec 2017
The moon doesn't even create its own light
It's fake.
It reflects the sun.
Maybe that's why we're all
Okay with being rude
When the fake light is in the sky.
Emma Livry Aug 2017
You are as fickle as a newborn
Causing the rain to
Start and stop
Start and stop
As drops fall down my cheeks.
Emma Livry May 2017
I'm not saying
My way is the right way,
But people hurt people,
So why do we name
Inanimate objects after them?
Emma Livry Apr 2017
"You're so cute when you do that."

Do what?

"You know, that thing you do."

No, please tell me what it is so I never do it again.
Emma Livry Dec 2015
Please just say something.
Don't leave me hanging on by a thread.
I've always hated being tied to other's strings
So give an answer to all I've said.

I've waited so long to hear your words,
But you never give me a reply.
I can't keep up for my mind is blurred.
Even so, I'll never be fine.

I gave you so many chances.
Why won't you just give me one?
Down on my knees is my newest stance
Without closure I'll never be done.

I know you just want things to end
Believe me it's what I want too.
I hope that you'll just be a friend
And teach me how to get over you.
Emma Livry Aug 2017
Glare to the end of the tunnel and
Swear you will get through it because you are the
Heir of your own future and hang in the
Midair that is almost
Nowhere and be thankful that you don't have to
Share who you are or your
Lair with anyone if you do not want.

Stare at the edge of the
Air and love
Where you you are and
There you will find your
Pair of eyes work and you won't
Tear up your thoughts and theories or
Dare to give up on yourself.
Emma Livry Nov 2015
My love, I know not
If death is better as a
Butcher or ballet.
Emma Livry Jul 2016
You're a dime--
But not in the way that you think.

You're the dime that he
Leaves on the table because he
Doesn't feel the need
To pick you up when given spare change.

You're the dime that he
Puts in a machine with no hesitation
Because he just had a craving
And you're helping him to get his fix.

You're the dime that he
Digs in his pockets for so that
He can call home but he
Doesn't find you because you aren't there.

You're the dime that he
Lost because he
Never paid
Attention to you until he couldn't find you.

You're the dime that someone else
Found and picked up
Off the street and
Actually wants and appreciates.

You are a dime.
Emma Livry Sep 2014
I have been working at 110% for you
I stayed when I said I'd go
I pushed through
But then I had been through enough

I was done working for you
I left when I promised to stay
I didn't make it very long
I missed you

You said you were glad I was back
You said you had so much waiting for me
You made me believe you
But you were lying, as usual

And now here I am
Still in your cold grasp
Like my hand around a mug
Of Spanish hot chocolate that I'm drinking in the snow.
"Don't be too down on yourself"
That would be easier if you'd give me a hand and pull me up.
Emma Livry Dec 2013
You always talked about getting away from here.
What's the point in staying?
There is nothing here for you anyways
At least that's what you think.
I am here for you,
Does that mean I am nothing?
Please don't leave me; I need you
Promise me you won't go.
"I love you"
Emma Livry Jan 2017
When you are so low
You aren't afraid of pain-
It is just what is normal to you.
People walk all over you,
But it is commonplace for you to be on the ground.
You become a doormat,
But it's okay.
If you were a vase on a shelf,
You'd be on display, but unstable.
If you fell, you'd break and
Shatter into pieces.
It is better to live realistically
Than to live in a fantasy with a tragic ending.
Emma Livry Apr 2015
saunter right
  long for home to inhale dark spring
sky darkens
death is calm alone

run for death

somebody bleak
not you.
Emma Livry Oct 2015
We have never talked
About when you kissed me.

Did you think it was a mistake?
I'm too much of a mess
To take care of.

But still on quiet nights,
After I become clean
And rid myself of tears,
I long for happiness.
I find it in thoughts of you.

Those thoughts don't lead to much
I sometimes try to act on them,
But then the happiness is eclipsed by fear.
And my fear is always crippling.

So instead I turn to what people think of as fear.
Instead I long for dreams of
Clowns chasing me with an ax.
Maybe if all of my dreams are nightmares, I'll stop being afraid of the light.
Emma Livry Aug 2017
I don't want my love to make you drunk
I want you to feel tipsy
There's just something so
Alluring about a man being tipsy
Tipping over the line of
Finally opening up.
Emma Livry Jan 2017
The contemptuous lie
Faded to solemnity
In order to solidify the
Contrast between an
Erased reality.
Part 3
Emma Livry May 2014
The blood vessels under my eyes burst
From crying so hard last night.
An hour passed and it didn't get better.
For maybe 6 minutes I sat on his ***** drive way
Screaming and crying alone,
But then he ran to me
He took me in his arms
And held my head to his chest.
He told me it was okay,
But it is not okay.
Nothing is okay about it.
My eyes hurt and I could barely breathe,
And he helped me stop crying.

She spit her words at me.
Yelling at me as I cried for going on 20 minutes.
"Ever since February she's been on a self destructive path,"
She said to him and then to me,
"You think you can handle this?
Is this what you wanted?
You are doing this to yourself.
It is all your fault.
You are a mess up."
I clung to him tighter.
I felt myself shaking in fear,
But it wouldn't stop.
I couldn't make it stop.

**Make it stop.
I made what my mother said to me way nicer than what she actually said and thinks of me.
Emma Livry Apr 2014
Everyone thought it was the right thing to do,
and I agreed.
It needed to stop.
Our relationship was not healthy
and we both couldn't breathe.
I was holding my breath while tiptoeing around you
and you were holding yours like it was the last bit of air you had.
We were being so fragile with each other
but only when we weren't fighting
or yelling or crying or screaming
or begging each other to just let go.
Please just let go...
But even though it is over,
I still can't breathe.
Emma Livry Mar 2017
Struggling to keep up
I gasp and grasp onto
The ideals proposed by those before
Studying every inch of the cascade
Falling just out of tangible recognition.
Emma Livry Apr 2015
help me*

Fear, **** me
gnash me
with cold hands
twisting my lips
and tearing my fear.
Hiding underneath
its shirt,
faultless tree
appearing like
a steady restraint.
Emma Livry Aug 2017
I don't want you to be
A firework
You'd be beautiful
For only a second,
But I never want your love
To explode and never
Be seen again.
Emma Livry Jul 2014
Now that I think about it 
You don't look like my floor.
If anything, you are the exact opposite.
Such an uncomfortable surface,
But your arms hold me perfectly.
Even though when we hug, 
You hold me so tightly that I never want to leave.
Being with you feels so good,
But that just makes being away from you so much worse
I could just lay in the back of your car with you forever. 
And forever is a very long time. 
Did you know that?
Emma Livry Jan 2014
Any moment I had with you is priceless
Many people don't know what it is like to get chills when someone says their name
Perhaps they haven't found their reason of existence yet.
How could you make me feel so good and say it is wrong?
Every time you held me, I knew that was where I was meant to be.
Tragic. It is tragic that you didn't feel the same way.
All alone, I sat there because you didn't feel the things I felt.
Maybe you just needed to get away for a while.
I know you needed a break, I just didn't want you to go.
Now I am alone and I am waiting for you,
Even though I know you won't come back.
Emma Livry Jun 2017
You have stood me up
On two occasions.
One date we were
To meet at the art museum.

I stayed there for
Three hours
Looking at the artwork
And writing poetry.

For a while, I truly
Thought you'd show up,
But as I moved along
Through the gallery,
I knew you weren't coming.

The other date was
To an underground coffee shop.
I was also there for three hours.

I got a table in the red room
And sat there waiting.

I sipped on my London Fog
And looked across the table at the
Coffee I ordered you.

You never showed, but
After a while,
I just stopped checking my phone.

And as you forgot about me,
I forgot about your coffee
As I sat there writing about
How I'll never forget you.
Emma Livry Mar 2017
The tendency to let things
Slip through my grasp
Is far too high-
Especially when it comes to
Love granted.
I like to believe that
I love love,
But I don't think I do.
What I love,
Is the way he looks at me
When I speak.
The way he speaks
When my mind is blank.
I adore
The way he asks me how I feel
And actually cares about the response.
The way he is attentive
To the things I ramble on about.
I cherish
The way he touches me,
Deliberately, but not harsh.
The way he kisses me,
With longing, but not lust.
I hold onto
The moments we share,
Even if they may not hold the same meaning
To him.
Because to me,
He is perfect,
But he's been hurt too many times
To know that there are people
Who are afraid of love abandoning them,
Afraid of love betraying them,
Afraid of love.
Too hurt to recognize
The people who can look at him and see
What he offers,
Not what his shortcomings are.
I know because I've been where he is,
And I know it's harder to move on alone
Than together.
Emma Livry Mar 2017
To you,
It's all intentional.
Every touch, every gesture
Has a purpose and a connection
To the bigger picture.
You take your time
Because it's more than just motion
It's a building of emotion
That is processed in ecstasy.
You're gentle
Because I'm not just a body,
I'm a person who is experiencing
It all with you.
Emma Livry Apr 2017
Your cigarettes stained
My hair and breath.
We never found home,
But a place to rest.

Your alcohol intoxicated
My legs and sight.
You said you loved me,
And I believed you might.

Your cursing struck
My ears and face.
You decided to leave,
But left an empty space.

Your empty promises broke
My heart and wrists.
I knew I shouldn't write,
But I couldn't resist.
Emma Livry May 2017
You never accused
me of being unrelenting,
so why are you?
Emma Livry Dec 2015
For the past few days
I have felt drunk without a drop of alcohol.
My mind is fuzzy
Which doesn't help my memory problems.
I'm dizzy
Which doesn't help my low blood pressure.
I have a lack of motivation
Which doesn't help my lack of motivation.

For the past few days
When I drink, I don't feel drunk.
My mind gets clear
Which is the complete opposite of when I drink.
I'm still dizzy
Which is completely normal for me.
I have a lack of motivation,
Per usual.
Emma Livry Dec 2016
Imagine a natural disaster
A mass collection of terrible things.
Think wind and rain and clouds that start to stir,
A noise so loud that it makes your ears ring.

Tormenting a whole town 'til it is done,
Just raging devastation all around.
Why do you terrorize us just for fun?
Is this where all your attention is found?

But after it is through we all come out
And realize exactly what happened.
This disaster brought out all of our doubt
It was not there we all just imagined.

Oh, dream that reached us all- thank you so much.
You got us out of our own evil clutch.
This is old.
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