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Aug 2015 · 344
Please Do Not Leave Me
Emma Livry Aug 2015
People come and go all the time
Like you did over and over.
Every time you promised to stay
All you would do is roll onto your other side,
Sit up on the edge of the bed.
Ending the magic so soon.
Deliberately you broke it,
Or was it an accident?
Nonetheless, you ended it.
One night of peace is all I wanted.
Together we are a mess.
Love me or let me go.
Every time I see you I feel strange.
All of my body wants to shut down.
Vicious waves make me cringe
Everything begs to stop working.
Must you be the reason
Every time I cry?
Aug 2015 · 321
SMH
Emma Livry Aug 2015
SMH
I can still feel myself
Pressed up against that wall.
I hope you know I really
Needed to study.
Jun 2015 · 195
It's Been A While
Emma Livry Jun 2015
Love like laughter
Lives forever
Your love is my heart
From which you will never part

Maybe we can
Endure forever
Your love is my fire
That fuels my desire

You are half of my whole
Your love is forever burned into my soul

You are who I've been looking for
Your love is everything to me and more

You have my heart

**You have my heart
Apr 2015 · 291
Down
Emma Livry Apr 2015
saunter right
  long for home to inhale dark spring
sky darkens
death is calm alone

run for death

somebody bleak
not you.
Apr 2015 · 354
Fear
Emma Livry Apr 2015
help me*

Fear, **** me
gnash me
with cold hands
twisting my lips
and tearing my fear.
Hiding underneath
its shirt,
faultless tree
appearing like
a steady restraint.
Apr 2015 · 209
Why
Emma Livry Apr 2015
Why
walk left.
  miss Washington DC to down rainy night
sadness cries
a monster is still at peace

die if I cry

somebody happy
about you.
I used a poem generator... weird
Apr 2015 · 840
Sexual Assault
Emma Livry Apr 2015
The hardest thing about this is
You believe it is your fault.

I should have known better.
I should have not been in that situation.

There is no telling when this would ever happen.
There is just you and them.

Fight or freeze?
More times than most, people freeze.

Why didn't I scream?
Why didn't I fight it?

Everyone's body processes things differently.
It is alright if you froze.

Know it is not your fault.
You are a victim.

But he was my boyfriend.
He said he loved me.

Everyone has their own problems.
He just chose to let his out in a ****** mode.

*Why would he do this to me?
Notes from therapy earlier.
Mar 2015 · 311
Perfect
Emma Livry Mar 2015
I could listen to you talk all day. In fact, I have. You have so many interesting stories and accounts from your life that I want to hear. I want to know everything about you. I want to know your successes, failures, trials, and fears. I want just want to help you.

The last time I saw you, you were complaining about how awful your day was. I just watched your performance, and we were standing outside the stage door in the freezing weather. My right leg was shaking terribly and I couldn't make it stop.

You kept talking about your day, but for some reason I didn't hear a word you were saying. For some reason I could only focus on the way your lips were moving and how you tilted your head back when you were getting angry and how when you finished talking you would take a deep breath before throwing me your stunning smile.

"Well I should go," you said.

"No. You should never go. Just stay with me and I promise everything will be okay. I will love you I promise. Just give us a chance. Give me a chance. I have such strong feelings for you- please just stay," is what I should have said, but I actually said, "Oh, okay."

I reached in for a hug because I could no longer wait for your arms to be wrapped around me. I wanted you to hold me forever, but I knew it wouldn't last more than a couple of seconds.

When you pulled away, I thought you would just pick up your bags and go, but you are always full surprises. I felt your hands pull me back in. A kiss. A perfect kiss. Much more than I could have hoped for from you.
Emma Livry Mar 2015
"I just don't know how you can love me."
Ignore me.
You never look at me in the light.
Are you so ashamed
To look at me longingly?
As I look at you?
See my eyes.
See the pain you cause
In the name of "love."
You think you are always right
When you say there is
No one who will love you.

"I just don't know how you can love me."
Insult me.
You never speak to me kindly.
Are you so afraid
To be nice to me?
As I strive for you?
See my eyes.
See the pain you have caused
In the name of "coolness."
You think you are always right
When you say there is
No way I can love you.

*I just don't understand how not to love you.
Mar 2015 · 175
The Truth
Emma Livry Mar 2015
I wait for the night
I long for your touch.
I wait for your heart,
But my pain is too much.

I live for your words.
I beg for your kiss.
I live for your love,
But it's too hard to miss.
Feb 2015 · 377
Realization
Emma Livry Feb 2015
The inconsistencies were nothing to her
The slips
The ice that was freezing her
Had started to melt
Into his eyes like summer
The beautiful thing is that it moves-
Rather, it's moving
Slowly at a pace compatible to
His breath as he is almost asleep
He rarely ever does, which adds to the beauty
She moves too fast
Frantically until she tires herself
And falls asleep on his shoulder on the way home--
Don't be silly:

I have always loved you,
Just not this dearly.
Jan 2015 · 335
I have no...
Emma Livry Jan 2015
... muse
... ambitions
... reasons
... restraint
... happiness
... friends
...passion
Jan 2015 · 252
*
Emma Livry Jan 2015
*
On Monday I feel close to death.
Tuesday and Wednesday stay in bed.
Thursday I found out what you said
But it's Friday, I fell out of love.
Jan 2015 · 278
Honestly (Rambling On)
Emma Livry Jan 2015
I love you, but you do not love me.
It is torture
You say you love me, but you do not.
You only want me,
And you make it very obvious.
Telling me your wants and desires
To feel alive.
To feel wanted.
To feel love
I say I love you, but you do not believe me.
You don't believe anyone can love you.
But I do.
I love the way you look at me
When you think I don't see.
I love how you randomly just lay on me
And let me play with your hair.
I love the way you hold me
So lovingly
Without even realizing it.
You kiss me so intensely
I feel my blood trying to pass through my skin.
That may seem gross but it's what I feel.
I also feel other things.
For example,
Butterflies.
I didn't know I could feel them anymore.
I thought that he killed them.
Then you brought them back to life,
But they aren't just in my stomach anymore.
They fly through my entire body
Making my hands and knees shake
Every time you touch me-
Even though it's not often.
You take my breath away
Every time I see you.
My hope is to never breathe again.
It is torture to feel love without even realizing it
Jan 2015 · 277
In the Woods
Emma Livry Jan 2015
Starving eyes,
Cold tongue and cheeks
Whisper very bad things.

Placid ears,
Sharp hands and feet
Creep up underneath.
Jan 2015 · 219
Untitled
Emma Livry Jan 2015
Breath
Skin
Lips
Sin
Melt
Eyes
Touch
Lies
Heat
Stain
Bury
Pain
Guilt
Fa­me
Torture
Shame
Dec 2014 · 316
Words Within
Emma Livry Dec 2014
I feel like the room is spinning.
There is so much pressure in my brain
And it needs to go away.
Let it drain out of my mouth as beautiful words
That are carried on zephyr.
The wind will carry the words to you.
I hope you are flattered
Because normally you flatter me, but I wanted to do something different today.
I wanted you to say that you loved me, 
But it is all still pressed inside my head.
Dec 2014 · 521
Terms of Endearment
Emma Livry Dec 2014
I usually hate being called "baby."
Like who do you think you are?
I am not a child, nor am I a baby.

But when you called me baby,
I didn't mind at all.
I guess it just worked coming from you.

And now you're gone.
And now he is calling me baby,
But it works coming from him
Because it reminds me of you...
I really should start taking my exams. Oops.
Dec 2014 · 257
Thought
Emma Livry Dec 2014
I'm young
But I am not reckless.
Everything must be
Strategically
Thought
Out.
Dec 2014 · 276
New
Emma Livry Dec 2014
New
Is it too hard
To understand me?
Or do just want to break my heart?

Well look who's crying
On the cold floor
Now.
Dec 2014 · 396
Black Spots
Emma Livry Dec 2014
You follow me everywhere I go.
Not a single day passes where I don't see you.
I want you to get out of my life
get out of my head
And leave me alone
Forever this time.
Dec 2014 · 244
Winter
Emma Livry Dec 2014
The world seems to be growing darker
That's what happens in winter.
The days get shorter and the nights get longer,
But my nights were already long to begin with.
My days are long too.
Everything seems so difficult.
Lifting my arm is hard labor.
I wonder when these hard times will end.
Nov 2014 · 6.0k
Conjunctions
Emma Livry Nov 2014
But I know I am not good enough,
Nor will I ever be,
So thinking about that makes me cry,
And I don't like that,
For it makes me uncomfortable,
Or I just can't stop crying,
Yet sometimes that's okay.
Nov 2014 · 1.6k
Oops
Emma Livry Nov 2014
Please lay your heavy head upon my chest.
All I want is to hold you all night long.
It would make my day if you do say yes.
It has been you forever- all along.

I should not have let you go, my darling-
What mistake!- a poorly made decision.
I need to be taught the law of Starling
So my heart can know its own precision

But when you gave me all your affection,
My eyes were already for one cruel boy.
He was a mess and a wrong selection,
For his mode was only set to destroy.

I know I am too late to be your girl;
I just thought I would let these words unfurl.
It was nice to see you again,
I'm just so sorry about the circumstances.
Nov 2014 · 418
Will You Ever Come Back?
Emma Livry Nov 2014
The guests are leaving
The shoes are off
The mascara remains
Only because it is waterproof.

The room is empty
The music is off
The food remains
Only because it is already paid for.

The door is open
The lights are off
The flame remains
Only because there was no energy to extinguish it.

The veil is torn
The dress is off
The girl remains
Only because she does not believe you're gone.
Nov 2014 · 435
I am Enough
Emma Livry Nov 2014
Lost.
I am last
In a little place
With the human race.

I am just a girl.
Always second place
Second... place.
Sep 2014 · 869
Disappointment
Emma Livry Sep 2014
I have been working at 110% for you
I stayed when I said I'd go
I pushed through
But then I had been through enough

I was done working for you
I left when I promised to stay
I didn't make it very long
I missed you

You said you were glad I was back
You said you had so much waiting for me
You made me believe you
But you were lying, as usual

And now here I am
Still in your cold grasp
Like my hand around a mug
Of Spanish hot chocolate that I'm drinking in the snow.
"Don't be too down on yourself"
That would be easier if you'd give me a hand and pull me up.
Sep 2014 · 819
Sleepyhead
Emma Livry Sep 2014
Don't you think that it is a little strange?
Everything I do is just a waste of time.
Possibly a never ending cycle of nothingness.
Restlessness stays with me in my sleep.
Every night I am in unrest. 
Speak to me with words of encouragement.
Sing sweet melodies to me while you hold me.
I will sleep then.
Only to be awoken by terror.
Netherworlds do exist.
Sep 2014 · 393
Untitled
Emma Livry Sep 2014
The aesthetic of leave-taking
Despises a self-satisfied kiss.
Emma Livry Aug 2014
Darling** (I)
You are a dreamer.
All you do is reach and reach for the stars.
You said you wanted to give them to me
To prove your love.
But the trick here is.
You aren't a dreamer.
You're just high.
All the time.
And I can't get through to you.
You are tearing down the stars.
But the stars are my eyes.

Sweetheart (II)
"Your eyes..."
Is one of the first things you said to me.
I still want to know what you meant.

Honeybee (III)
An angel came to me the other night.
And then I realized it was just you.
Emma Livry Aug 2014
I am infatuated with you
Not the idea of you.
Ever since we met
I never thought we could work
But we do
Well we did
You've been gone for a while
And I don't really know
If you are coming back
Will you make it home to me?
Or will you fall
And vanish forever?
Just let me know
When I lose you
Because I've lost you before
But this time I know it's for good.
Before we met,
Everything scared me.
Now I feel safe in your arms.
More secure than I ever did
Anywhere else.
Like safe as in I never had to worry.
Letting you take all my trust
Even when I thought it was too much.
Never did you fall, nor will you ever.
Jul 2014 · 315
Old Friend, Where'd you go?
Emma Livry Jul 2014
Things aren't as simple as they used to be
It's not like when one hug from you could secure me for a day.
Not just one reassurance can calm me anymore.
I need more than just  one conversation with you to feel sane.
But you haven't spoken to me in months.
The last time I saw you, you didn't even look at me.
Jul 2014 · 389
Floor
Emma Livry Jul 2014
Now that I think about it 
You don't look like my floor.
If anything, you are the exact opposite.
Such an uncomfortable surface,
But your arms hold me perfectly.
Even though when we hug, 
You hold me so tightly that I never want to leave.
Being with you feels so good,
But that just makes being away from you so much worse
I could just lay in the back of your car with you forever. 
And forever is a very long time. 
Did you know that?
Jul 2014 · 338
Winding Down
Emma Livry Jul 2014
I'll be the first to say
That i hate it.
It's so pointless to fight this.
Our defenses are on such a high intensity that we are stiff.
Nothing is comfortable anymore.
Even laying next to you is foreign
I feel as if something is pulling you away from within
We both say that we want to be together and don't want to lose each other,
But when we look back,
We see that we already resent the place we are in.
Always sneaking around
Meeting at parking garages just to get a kiss.
But it isn't just a quick one
We could kiss for hours if we had the time.
And we did one day
When we were together for ten hours.
But now we don't even have the time.
Different lives,
Different friends,
Different obligations.
We drink different coffee in the morning
And complain about how I can't just lay in your arms all day
Because we are running and
Hiding, lying,
Trying just to get a few moments alone with each other
But it is so hard
Because I am stuck in my superficial tower without a door
And no matter how many times you beg me to let down my hair
I can't.
They donated it to someone who actually deserved it.
I ask why you don't just go and find someone who deserves your love,
But you say, 
'Where's the fun in that, my dear?" 
You said,
"Love isn't supposed to be easy.
The harder you work for it, the more meaningful it is."
I just sit there and wonder how hard i have to work
Because I feel everything is starting to callus
Including my heart.
It's slowly turning into rock
And I don't mean for it to,
It's just every time I try I just can't be with you. 
You ask for all the reasons why and for your sake I make a list
But for my sake I take it and tear it apart so you don't worry
I don't want anything else affecting your life.
Especially me.
I'm just a girl that you'll think about in a couple of years and say,
"Oh her? I just knew her in high school.. I guess she was kinda cool."
But you
When I describe you, I'll be fighting back emotions
I'll say something along the lines of a boy who made a dent in my life
But in reality it wasn't a dent,
You took a lot from me, but in return you put stuff back. 
The void that was left empty before you
Was finally filled again with your kindness
But slowly it started to drain again
And when you tried to cover the holes it just made it worse.
You tried to be my nurse, but in reality you were my curse.
That savory poison that flows slowly through my veins
Sugar coating all the pain just to gain some recognition.
You just wanted me to need you.
And believe me.. oh I do
Emma Livry May 2014
Gnashing the words in my mouth before I say them.
Tick-tock why can't you speak?
pause



"Hello?
Sorry I uh..... I
"Are you drunk?"
No.
"Are you sure?"
...
Repeat five more times.

Form sentences quickly.
you are a pathetic idiot
Who said that?

Don't babble.
Babble=stutter.
Don't stutter.

Form sentences.
Don't take too long to think.
May 2014 · 301
Empty
Emma Livry May 2014
The blood vessels under my eyes burst
From crying so hard last night.
An hour passed and it didn't get better.
For maybe 6 minutes I sat on his ***** drive way
Screaming and crying alone,
But then he ran to me
He took me in his arms
And held my head to his chest.
He told me it was okay,
But it is not okay.
Nothing is okay about it.
My eyes hurt and I could barely breathe,
And he helped me stop crying.

She spit her words at me.
Yelling at me as I cried for going on 20 minutes.
"Ever since February she's been on a self destructive path,"
She said to him and then to me,
"You think you can handle this?
Is this what you wanted?
You are doing this to yourself.
It is all your fault.
You are a mess up."
I clung to him tighter.
I felt myself shaking in fear,
But it wouldn't stop.
I couldn't make it stop.

**Make it stop.
I made what my mother said to me way nicer than what she actually said and thinks of me.
Apr 2014 · 629
Is There a Monster Within?
Emma Livry Apr 2014
I've never been admitted to a hospital.
But yesterday I was.
I went through registration and
They put this bracelet on my arm to identify me.
I am sitting in my bed now.
It moves to adjust to my body
So that I don't hit a pressure point while I sleep.
Doctors ordered an echocardiogram.
They did an ultrasound on my heart.
I could see everything.
All of the valves and movements.
The technician doing it said that even
My heart loves to dance.
Everything was normal with my heart,
But I will never forget how the aortic valve looks.
It is quite terrifying with all the other valves around it.
It looks like a face, just distorted.
And it moves,
But the two smaller valves on top that look like eyes,
They never stop looking at you.
Apr 2014 · 334
What is happening to me?
Emma Livry Apr 2014
I am scared

C O N S T A N T L Y
I feel uncomfortable.

DON'T TOUCH ME!! please...

My skin is crawling all the time.
I can't take this anymore.

I feel strange

what is inside of me?

help me

HELP ME

Help Me

help me..

I think I'm dying.
I'm sorry I gave up.
I'm giving up.
Just make it go away.
Please make it

GO AWAY

...

I'm sorry for yelling..
I just can't take it anymore.
Goodbye.
Apr 2014 · 391
End
Emma Livry Apr 2014
End
Everyone thought it was the right thing to do,
and I agreed.
It needed to stop.
Our relationship was not healthy
and we both couldn't breathe.
I was holding my breath while tiptoeing around you
and you were holding yours like it was the last bit of air you had.
We were being so fragile with each other
but only when we weren't fighting
or yelling or crying or screaming
or begging each other to just let go.
Please just let go...
But even though it is over,
I still can't breathe.
Apr 2014 · 485
Phone Call
Emma Livry Apr 2014
Ringing

Pick up... pick up...
Hello?
Go to the hospital.
I'm good. Don't worry about me. I'm good.
Allen, go to the hospital.
I'll get better. Stop nagging me.
You won't get better if you don't go to the hospital and get looked at.
I'm not going. I can't afford that.
You have insurance. They want to help you. I promise.
I don't have money for that. Hospitals are only for rich, white people.
Allen, go to the hospital. You are worrying me! Please just go.
No. I will get better on my own.
You need help, Allen.
No I don't. I'm good.
Allen, you don't even want help, do you? You don't even want to get better at all..
Emma, I'm fine. It will all be okay in time.
That was your point wasn't it? To make it all okay? But for who, Allen? Just okay for you? Because if you leave, I won't be okay. Please get help..
I don't want help and I don't need it anyways. I will be gone soon and everything will be better. You'll move on. Everyone will. No one cares about me anyways.
... You think no one cares about you? Allen, I love you. And you want to leave? Because you think no one cares? I care. I care about you so much. I always see those cuts on your wrists even when you always wear longsleeves because I think you are a little more comfortable around me than everyone else. I see those cuts and think *Why does he do that to himself? Is it my fault? Is there anything I can do to make him realize that he doesn't have to do that? I really try to be there for him, but maybe I am not enough for him to be happy
But I still try. Even though I think that, I try to help. And I don't do that because I pity you. I do that because I love you. I love you, Allen.
... Emma, please stop.
No, Allen. I won't stop. You need to get help. I can't lose you. What about your mom? She needs you. And your little sister? She needs you. Do you want to leave your family?
EMMA STOP! I HAVE TO GO!
NO YOU DON'T ALLEN! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO!
Emma.. you are the best person I know.
Allen what's happening are you okay?
Yea... Emmmmma It'ss aaall okayyy
Allen, please get help, your words are slurring.
...
Allen can you hear me?
I loooove youu Emmmmaa. My prettyyyy Emmmma.
ALLEN STAY WITH ME! PLEASE DON'T GO!
...
ALLEN
...

*Dial-tone
Feb 2014 · 392
I do not know
Emma Livry Feb 2014
I     am  so          emotionally            drained
I do   not       even  know      what to  write.
I cannot figure out how to  express myself.
I                   am                                       numb
And            I               do                 not    care.
Feb 2014 · 557
Male Ballet Dancers
Emma Livry Feb 2014
His muscles contract.
Arms extended, one front and one side.
There is so much concentration-
You can tell by the face he always makes:
One eyebrow raised, lips pursed, eyes focused.
He bends his knees,
Opens his front arm to the side,
Relaxes his face,
Barely closes his eyes,
And then returns to the intense gaze.
Then he is spinning and spinning and spinning.
The pirrouette is flawless and he even holds a balance at the end.
His leg that is raised shows his sartorius bulging out in the lights.
Then he extends his leg to the side parallel to the ground
And then kneels for the final pose with his eyes closed.
When he opens them,
All he sees is his reflection in the mirror.
No one is there to congratulate him,
But he gets up and starts it again.
He did 7 turns-
He wanted to do 8.
They should be appreciated more.
Jan 2014 · 562
Inamorata
Emma Livry Jan 2014
When will we get to dance?
All I want to do is be twirling with you.
Lead me across the room in this waltz.

Would you even want to waltz?
I long for you to ask me to dance.
I close my eyes and wait for you.

Why do I even want to dance with you.
The last thing I should want to do is waltz.
Especially with you because you don't like to dance.

All I want to do is dance with you and waltz across the room in your arms.
Jan 2014 · 1.3k
Confrontation
Emma Livry Jan 2014
Temptation came in sliding on his knees asking, “Will you dance with me?”

He didn't say “hello”, or “wow it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”. Just a simple question. He stayed on his knees waiting for an answer, but he didn’t get one quickly. After I stumbled on my words for what seemed like forever, I finally managed a yes.

The band just finished playing. The owners turned on a CD for people to waltz to, and the floor was already crowded with smiling couples and stumbling beginners.

“You are going to lead me the whole time, okay?” I asked him, but it was more of a demand. I remembered talking to him about this place and I knew he came here a lot. We had never danced together, but I had always wanted to dance with him.

“Do you even know how to waltz?” he asked.

“I do ballet. Of course I know how to waltz.” I managed to say with more confidence than I knew I had. The memories from last summer were unfurling inside my brain and I thought I was about to explode. I didn’t think I could manage another word but I surprise myself by asking how he was.

“Oh, I’m pretty good. I ship out in June. You can’t believe how much I want to leave this place,” he said. I tried looking into his eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He was holding his gaze directly on me, but when I tried looking into his eyes, I had to look away. After all this time, I forgot their color. He then said, “Loosen up, darling. You’re so tense.” he flipped our arms around and twirled me quite a bit and I was getting lost, but he is a very good leader. He was holding my hands firmly, yet it was still gentle and we ended up with our hands over our heads. “Bend backwards,” he instructed, so I did. He lowered me down into a dip and I finally looked directly into his eyes. How could I forget that they are exactly the same color as mine?

Our faces were only but three inches apart; about a year ago, we were at a place where those three inches wouldn’t even exist. He lingered there for only a second more before I broke our gaze and he decided to briskly raise me back up and continue the waltz.

“You are really tense; loosen up,” he said again. It made sense, I have a habit of holding my breath when faced with temptation, but he just continued smiling at me.

“Sorry, I’m used to holding myself all the time.”

He just looked around the room and then dipped me again and whispered in my ear, “I’ll hold you.”

I wanted to hit him. Did he forget what happened last summer? Because I did not. I flashed back to where we were. Sitting on the rocks next to the creek that leads into the larger river. He was playing his guitar and singing me the song he wrote for me. It was cliché, but at the time it was a sweet gesture. His voice was always angelic to me. From the first time I heard him sing until the last time, which ended up being this day.

When he finished singing the song, I couldn't find any words to say. I just sat there and then he leaned over and kissed me. This wasn't the first time he kissed me, but it was different from the first time. The first time was at church and was really short. This kiss was, well, not short at all.

He brought me back up to standing and whisked me across the floor. He kept leading me and twirling me and switching our arms around. The waltz still continued and so did our conversation. I looked up at him occasionally and he was still looking at me. Throughout the dance, we drifted closer and closer together. I didn't notice when it was happening, but in this moment I realized that there was almost no space between us.

“You know, I bet my boyfriend’s pretty mad,” I said. I looked over at him. He was sitting on a bench glaring in my general direction, so I turned around abruptly and then my dance partner got a peek at him.

He laughed at the fact that he was glaring at us and then leaned in even closer to tell me something through his smile, “My girlfriend is watching too, but them watching us just makes it more fun.”
Jan 2014 · 498
Of Course
Emma Livry Jan 2014
"I was walking and then I fell into a prickly bush."
Darling, I know what you have been up to.
You don't walk near prickly bushes,
You don't even like walking at all.
"No I promise. The leaves scratched me, look."
Then please tell me, my love, why they are all straight lines?
Why are the marks in evenly straight intervals?
And why can I see the beginning of a word under your sleeve?
"IT WAS A BUSH!! YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME!"
Oh, yes.
It was a bush alright.
It was a bush made out of flesh and bone.
With muscles and tendons and ligaments making everything work.
But the leaves, the prickly leaves.
The leaves were made of metal.
This I know as a fact.
A random blade you pulled out of a razor that you broke.
And I know exactly where you "fell" into this "bush".
It is in your bathroom with the shower running to wash the blood right down the drain.
Your parents would never suspect because "Oh, he's far too happy to even think of doing that."
The bush is you, sweetheart.
And you are destroying your beautiful branches.
The sad thing about bushes is that they are also very flammable...
Jan 2014 · 481
Forever Waiting
Emma Livry Jan 2014
Any moment I had with you is priceless
Many people don't know what it is like to get chills when someone says their name
Perhaps they haven't found their reason of existence yet.
How could you make me feel so good and say it is wrong?
Every time you held me, I knew that was where I was meant to be.
Tragic. It is tragic that you didn't feel the same way.
All alone, I sat there because you didn't feel the things I felt.
Maybe you just needed to get away for a while.
I know you needed a break, I just didn't want you to go.
Now I am alone and I am waiting for you,
Even though I know you won't come back.
Jan 2014 · 587
Addicted
Emma Livry Jan 2014
You don't walk in straight lines.
You curve and weave and go right through where you want.
It reminds me of the time you decided to write on your arm.
You didn't need any ink,
"That's what the blood is for," you said.
"Have you ever done this before?"
No I hadn't,
But you convince me I've been through enough to want to.
You had me under the influence,
But the "influence" is much bigger than drugs.
Jan 2014 · 414
I Need It
Emma Livry Jan 2014
Maybe all of this will go away someday
Everything that haunts me will vanish into thin air
This seems so unreal, but most things do.
How do we even know what is real or not?
You never really know how to tell.
Letting different things control your brain just makes it harder.
Everything is heightened, you are heightened
Never looking down, never going down
Energy is restored, you feel alive!
Doubts are gone, what are doubts?
I don't  even remember.
Of all the things going on in my brain, I can't pick one out singularly.
Experts can't even decipher who I am.
You have even told me that I am hard to read.
My mind has never rejected so many things before
Even when it rejected everything that used to make me happy.
Transform me into who you want me to be because I lost myself.
How can you tell me to leave you when you hold me up 89% of the time?
Anything we do is to benefit the other.
Maybe we can just leave each other without pain
Pain is inevitable in every situation.
How could you leave me alone without you
Even when you knew that you were everything that I had?
Together, I could breathe
Apart, I hyperventilate.
My mindset is that if I run fast enough maybe I will catch you my dear.
I will keep on running until I reach you.
Never have I ever tried so hard to keep someone in my life.
Everyday you stay, I am thankful to have you.
I don't even remember writing this.. but I know it's mine and I promise I mean it.
Dec 2013 · 642
Love is so Damn Fickle
Emma Livry Dec 2013
You say that you love me more than anything,
Yet I see that it is not true.
Your heart doesn't love just me.
Your love for me doesn't pump the blood in your veins
As my love for you does.
I know your heart wants more.
More than me.
More than money.
More than anything,
Your heart wants to stop.
You want to stop.
Dec 2013 · 333
Don't Leave
Emma Livry Dec 2013
You always talked about getting away from here.
What's the point in staying?
There is nothing here for you anyways
At least that's what you think.
I am here for you,
Does that mean I am nothing?
Please don't leave me; I need you
Promise me you won't go.
"I love you"
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