I think I'm allergic to eating..

       I wake up the next day to
Soft blue blotches on my thighs
       And angry red lines on my hips.

I've seen this girl named Ana, she's pretty thin and tall, she has the smallest frame and not a single flaw.
I've met this girl named Ana, she introduced herself today. She seems so very nice and kind, she says she wants to stay.
I know this girl named Ana, she's so perfect and its true, I'm so fat compared to her, but shell make me skinny too.
I'm friends with this girl named Ana, I've started eating less, hating the person in the mirror, my lifes become a mess.
My bestfriend is this girl named Ana, I want her to always stay. All my other friends have left but she will never stray.
The only one I listen too is Ana, she's so mart and full of advice, I'm starting to get smaller. My health is my only sacrifice.
I'm scared of this girl named Ana, I can't get her out of my head. It finally accured to me, she wants me dead.
I hate this girl named Ana, she makes my life a living hell. Someone please hear my silent screams, cause she won't let me tell.
My worst enemy is this girl named Ana, she's a demon in my head, she seemed so nice at first but I was definately mislead.
I'm a prisonner to this girl named Ana, I'm captive to her will, I can't help to do what she says, how can I be so fat, still ?
My murderer is this girl named Ana, she starved me to my grave. My heart finally stopped beating, I just couldn't continue being brave..

Summer is comming and its getting hot, I want to wear normal clothes and not get caught.
I've tried everything to cover up, nothing worked so I just gave up.
And so I decided to wear a short sleeved shirt, hoping no one would see my deep deep hurt.
But with just my luck, someone notices my cuts.
He walked up to me and touched my palm.. He told me not to worry and to just stay calm.
Tears started streaming down my cheeks. In my head I know he thinks I'm a freak.
He said to me 'you are beautiful no matter what' then looked into my eyes and said 'even with those deep deep cuts' ♡

I'd like to thank my father on this Father's Day for all the things he did not do.

He did not teach me to tie a knot, stand up to bullies, or catch a ball.  He did not tuck me in at night, I never went to a father-daughter dance, no one was there to give the boys the evil eye or make certain I was home at curfew.

He was not a safe place to run to when I was hurting. And, I was being hurt in the most unspeakable ways. He did not defend me. He did not ask. He doesn't even know.

He never called me "princess" or "sweetheart". I never danced on his toes.

At my wedding no tender moment was had. No song played while he regrettably accepted that I was now grown.

He never knew the joy of bouncing his grandchildren on his knees...or his daughter and son for that matter.

I am forever grateful to him.

Grateful to have lived and grown without him by my side. To have learned my own way, become my own protector and provider.

Thank you, Father, sincerely. If you would have stayed I may had become something like you

An ex smoker,
          Picks up another cigarette
An old alcoholic,
          Can no longer abstain
A girl chews her lip, as a man starts to bite his nails.
A recovered boy,
          Drags a blade across his wrist
An anorexic girl,
      Tries to eat her salad,
           But can't hold it in

Once upon a time a young boy who seemed so happy, died.. But it was by a blade
and tears that he tried to hide.

His funeral was full of people who made everyday bad
His bullies, his abusive boyfriend, and his alcoholic dad

Well on that day
They buried a boy that they never ever actually knew.

Just a cut, just a scratch.
What's that? It was just the cat..
Just an excuse, just another lie.
What's with all the bracelets? Just fasion, why?
Just a tear, just a scream.
Why were you crying? Had a bad dream..
But its not just a cut, tear or lie..
Its always just one more before you die.

When i was a little girl;
I thought my daddy hung the moon..
He worked a lot,
but i had the best daddy in the world.

When i got a little older;
I started to go to my friends' house to play,
But then I'd see their daddies.
Their daddies were home every day and night,
their daddies loved their mommies,
their daddies had time for their little girl..
But maybe,
my daddy just worked a lot...

When i was barely a teen;
mommy wasn't present..
A week later, dad brought over a new mommy,
yet he'd always say how much he loved MY mommy.
Dad, then started telling me lies,
yet I never thought my daddy would've lied to me.

Dad has more time;
for his girlfriends than he does for me.
Before mommy died. Mommy and I,
were his number one girls..

In my years of high school;
My father left and bought a house,
So that I could never see him again.

He still thinks he's daddy.

I should've kissed you longer.
Then maybe you would've stayed.
Every time I'm next to you, my heart breaks all over again.

I should've kissed you longer.
But I didn't know it was our last.
Every time I see you talking about her, I physically feel the hurt on the inside.

I should've kissed you longer.
And maybe you'd still be mine.
Every time I think of you, I can't help but miss you more and more.

I sit in my corner of lies,
It's these four walls I despise.
Everywhere I look I see a glimpse,
Of everything I seem to miss .

I lie,
I cheat,
But it's myself I cannot beat.

I scream,
I cry,
But to myself I cannot lie.

These walls are crumbling faster now
This I wish I did not allow.
I'm swimming in this thick sea of lies
My excuses I do not buy.

I lie,
I cheat,
But it's myself I cannot beat.

I scream,
I cry,
But to myself I cannot lie.

The walls have tumbled to the ground,
My common sense; its nowhere to be found.
One lie leads to another,
Now more than every I need my mother.

I lie,
I cheat,
But it's myself I cannot beat.

I scream,
I cry,
But to myself I cannot lie.

I know there is not anything I can say,
To change what happened that day.
Who I am I trying to fool?
It's my emotions that mask, rule.

I lie,
I cheat,
But it's myself I cannot beat.

I scream,
I cry,
But to myself I cannot lie.

"Sorry" is the best I can do
Its the answer I never knew till now
It's not my fault,
it was you who broke our vow

I lie,
I cheat,
But it's myself I cannot beat.

I scream,
I cry,
But to myself I cannot lie.

Don't tell me how to cope, to feeling
I deal, how I deal.
I'm no longer associating myself with you,
My life, wall to wall,
just keeps on crashing because your so untrue

You lie
You cheat
But it's me you cannot beat

You scream
You cry
But to me you cannot successfully lie