It starts off with a whisper,
a slight ruffle,
like a summer breeze moving through tree branches,
a few twisted words that slip from loose lips,
that's all it takes to stir up a hurricane of chaos

     Hey did you hear?

whispers that evoke labels
&
discrimination
as if they magically grant everyone permission to poke and ****

              ****              *****                    b­itch                   worthless
                            ugly          loner        ­  ***             ***

these twisted words lead to stares that burn holes with the heat of their intensity
&
pointed fingers that judge,
&
condemn

      Did you hear about what happened?! You won't believe it!

they lead to giggles
&
laughs brought on by a sick satisfaction of entertainment found at the expense of the agony of another

     Oh my god, isn't that her?

they lead to tears behind closed doors
&
ends with nothing but
   *painpainpainpain

not the kind of pain that tickles and pokes
but the kind that knocks you back a few feet when it hits
&
rips the air out of your lungs
like the few moments of excruciating pain you feel when you stub your toe or clamp your hand between a door
it's an unexpected kind of pain
& your nerve endings can't help but become overwhelmed in pain

it's a greedy kind of love
the kind that takes and takes and TAKES
it slices you open, not enough to be fatal but just enough to bleed
&
that's all that's left for you to do,
                                                           b l e e d
this love bleeds you dry,
it takes all that is you
&
leaves nothing behind
nothing for others to identify you by
it leaves nothing for others to
                                                           s a l v a g e

it's a suffocating kind of love
like a horrible case of claustrophobia
the walls seem to be closing in
the world is getting smaller
the air is getting thinner
&
you watch for a few painful seconds as you lay there gasping for life
clawing at the walls like a trapped mouse
aware that you are dying
aware that there you are utterly helpless to stop it

a love whose purpose is to cage
not treasure
it boxes you up
&
creates a world that composes of only two strong arms that feel more like a prison than comfort
they bind
&
enclose on you

it's a love that should know when to stop
but doesn't
it's a never ending cycle of violence
of heavy fists
&
relentless kicks
then sweet kisses that act as apologies
trying to soothe the pain
&
then whispers  
"I'm sorry, never again. I promise."
words that you know not to trust

it is a love with no way out

I hate you.

I hate you for what you did to me.

I hate you for making me write about you.

I hate you for making me love you

I love you

I love you for caring about me

I love you for filling my thoughts

I hate you for loving me