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 Oct 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
i thought i could handle
not being yours but when
trying to describe why i
feel the way i do i just
completley breakdown.

i tried describing your eyes
to someone who has never had the
beautiful chance to be in your vicinity and
i could barely get through to the
part of where i compare thy
eyes to an ocean after a
strong storm.

what should i do?
its easier now to be around you but
should i even try?
you've picked me up and brought out my
wings but can i really fly?

oh dear, please tell me because
i'll drown without you here.
im drowning in the ocean that is
you and im not sure if i should
cry out in fear.

maybe im better off in a
kiddie pool.

****.
 Oct 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
everyone was dancing
having fun
not caring about
anything.
but i stood still,
scared of the voices,
feeling like i didn't
fit in.

when he bent
down to kiss me,
i pulled back.
i felt bad but....
i just couldn't.

all i do is hurt people
and I'm so sick of it.
i cant even be happy
at my own homecoming
dance.

he told me to have
a good time because
everything gets better.
but they don't,
its only for a little
while that
they do.
i cried and relapsed the other night because i knew this would happen. i just knew.
 Oct 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
w10
 Oct 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
w10
i did not feel pretty
but he said
i was?
Her eyes that have life
Legs thick and strong
Shiny fine hair
A smile that makes the heart race
Laughter that gives light to the darkness
Time together full of purpose
Goals and dreams so real
Minds made up pursing more
Only time will tell where well end up
Communication rich full of fresh perspective
Take it slow rush or wait things feel right
On my mind end of the night wonder
If she feels the same
Will she make her way back
Appreciate her companionship
And the time we spend together
 Oct 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
ive seen the pictures and gifs of
when people go to far when
cutting.
and honestly, i get
so scared.
to think that people can just
open themselves up and
let blood pour and
spill and not have a
second thought about it
because they are just trying to
let their demons out.

but then i remind myself that
i do the same and that i
could end up on the
bathroom floor if i
dont be careful and
end this addiction
i have.
 Sep 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
w10
 Sep 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
w10
he wants to discuss the
universe so
im pretty
stoked.
I want to hold the world
Just a marble in my hand
I want to save the world
If you let me then I can

I'll put it in my pocket
The one that's by my heart
I'll put it in a locket
So it won't break apart

I'll hold it close and dear
In hopes that it won't shatter
I'll always keep it near
So war and hate won't matter

They won't destroy my world
The one which I have saved
For nothing in my world
Will ever need be saved
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