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 Sep 2013 Ellyn k Thaiden
R
when he said, "this is
my note, after all, thats
what people do, right?
leave a note?" my heart
completely caved
      >     in.    <

when my teacher said
that a lot of people
commit suicide due to
bullying or because they
feel unaccepted,
i raised my hand to
speak up about the
facts.


the true facts.

how more than half of the
homeless teenage population
are gay. they were kicked out
by their mums and dads.

how its not just the
bullying, how its
them too.

they feel so alone and
we always wonder why
there is a new name in
the paper saying,
"Suicide--Age --"
and yet because of
someone being p    u s h  e       d
to                                                      far

it made them take
their own life.

i wish i could stop
suicides,
i wish for once
i could be the one who
closed the door on
death.

but im no rolemodel,
i always let death
back in.

but that doesnt mean i
wont help you take
him out.
if you ever need someone to talk to, please please please dont hesitate to either talk to me or one of the other HP members. call a hotline or call your friends. write it down, talk to someone. 1-800-273-8255 heres the suicide hotline. please, if you need it, use it.
I want to cut.
I yearn to smell that metallic scent of blood.
Feel smooth crimson droplets roll down my wrists.
Watch them fall to the floor, into a puddle.
Into the puddle diluted with my salty tears.
Weakling. Can't you even take this much pain?
Biting on my lip,
I press the razor down even more,
still crying.
The blood flow increases to an ooze.
A thin stream of blood flowing down my pale wrists.
I feel free, I feel like I'm in control. Only I can hurt myself.
LIES
I'll never be the only one to hurt myself.
Other people still will.
I no longer want to stick around to get hurt.
I want to move on the other side,
to whatever may be waiting for me.
It would only be too easy
I want to sink into oblivion.
One day I will.
*That day is today
No, I don't cut. I don't believe in cutting. However, I have friends, seniors and even juniors who cut and this poem is for them.
Good morning Elizabeth,
Elizabeth two
Hello, hello
How do you do
Elizabeth Ann
You've grown quite tall
You used to be
Oh, so so small
Just a name
Upon a screen
Just a poem
Rarely seen
But now you're a girl
With a lovely name
With pain in your chest
But love just the same
You're a girl with words
That speak of life
A girl with words
Sharp as a knife
Elizabeth Ann,
Elizabeth two
You used to be me
But now you're a you
As we spoke and I
found myself safe in your eyes
I suddenly saw
what you have given me

His hands link with mine,
our arms create a matching line,
his patterned lightly by freckles,
and we're sitting on the
summer porch at dusk.

He loves me.


but only because
you showed me the secret
I had kept from myself:

that my eyes can see into souls
my laugh can turn hearts
my smile can make blood race.
that my words, my thoughts, my loves
and hate, my
passion and fire and tears,
my temper and my gentleness,
my utter ridiculousness and
my absolute
poise,
my total seriousness
and surprising propensity
for laughter,
my complex flaws and nuanced perfections,
that I,
me,
everything I am and all
I will ever be
is worth something.

And could be someone's everything.

This is the secret you have pulled
from the depths of my maybe not-so-broken soul,
cupping it in the careful curve of your hands,
holding it out to me,
fragile like a newborn but growing stronger
all the time.
And I'll take it in my nervous palms
and the warmth will fill me
and I will live like new
because of this precious truth that only
you
could have extracted
from the labyrinth
of a deep and winding heart,
that only you could have known well enough
cared for deeply enough
to traverse the dark passages long enough
to find
my lonely light.
You know who you are. Thank you. I love you.
One foot
Two foot
Right Foot
Fast foot
Running
Running
All the time
I'm running
Running to you
Away from another
Running to pain
And away from horror
Running through hearts
And minds and souls
Running across tongues
Of liars and mockers
Running to hands
And away from arms
Running to clouds
Buried in the ground
Running to run
So I don't have to walk
Running to run
I can no longer walk
I just keep
Running
and
Running
and
Running
With nowhere
To go
So
I
Just
Run
I ******* say goodbye,
I had not enoght time,
When I realized
You were already gone.
I coudnt say goodbye,
But if I could fly
I would find you,
Hold you,
Embrace you in my wings,
In a never ending moment,
Just like and angel.
Yes, I said angel,
But I'm not talking about me
Since I'm here for you.
PAGE #1
°°°
Hollow
That's how I am
My eyes can't see light
Where just disgrace stand
Hollow
I'm the dweller
Of my own devastation
I hope for demise
My only inspiration...
This is not a poem
About friends
Or lovers
Or relationships at all

This is not a poem
About cars
Or guns
Or politics of the world

This is not a poem
About places
Or people
Or creative ideas

This is not a poem
About swings
Or trees
Or other silly things

This is not a poem

But really, it is
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