The porcelain of my skin, has deceived you once again, Forcing laughter and faking smiles, hiding me, I tell you lies, your reality suffocates me, its true I can hardly breath, stuck within a tarnished cage, I know the role i am to play, masking how I feel inside, there's truth beneath my many lies. While you write the words I say, I vow this will end one day

I'd have to be dead
to let you back in my bed
Your voice is the last thing
I need stuck in my head

It seems so strange how love can still exist in this messed up world,
And how memories can still live on.. Even after our roads devised.

We bumped into each other in the hall one day. As I blushed and apologized you smiled and told me I was classy.

Under the sweet smells of popcorn and that warm summer air.. We shared our first kiss.. And we held hands from there on in.
We would run around the streets and laugh like lunatics..

Everything would be so great, the town thought we were mad.
We took our walks on the beach, and danced under the moonlight sky, with the candles glowing below.

We would jump in the leaves and twirl with them dancing around us We called it dancing with the leaves.

We made pillow forts and had our Nerf wars on the cold winter days, to end it all off with a hot coffee as the suns rays dipped under the horizon.

We would pretend we were birds and fly with the wind atop of large hills, then run down them as if they were a large valleys.

We had our days, we both shed tears, and we both messed up. But we would always end it with a " I need you" letter.

We wrote in a bottle: "we will always be." .. And then threw it into the river. It all changed soon after I got that text..

You moved away. That day.. I fell to pieces..
It was like time itself had stopped and I couldn't breath.
I had been stabbed with bits of glass, I couldn't help but scream..

I haven't quite been the same, I've turned into a emotional wrack.
Trying to fill a void that's been empty for so long..
If you saw me now.. You'd be disappointed.. I'm not the same guy you fell in love with..

My hair isn't combed and doesn't have that brown shine, my eyes glow black and my skins gone sour, I've become more hunched, and I always have a cloud over my head.
No one seems to care,
So with this pain I must bare.

I never stopped caring, now I'm dealing with the weight of the world.
People say that there is someone out there for me. To stop dwelling on the past and move onto the here and now. There was someone out there but now she's gone.
I cry every night and then think of you, and that's when I realize,

I'm lost without you.

I never knew, I never knew.
You were leaving,
never comming back..

I never knew, I never knew.
that when you said goodbye,
it would be for the last time.

I never knew, I never knew.
how to love anyone else
I though, it was you.

I never knew, I never knew.
That you had died that night.
I just thought you didn't love me anymore.

I never knew, I never knew.
You were on your way home.
You were going to say sorry.

I never knew, I never knew.**
and now i never will....

Rain drops onto head tops
let her touch you,let umbrella blow in winds
your only companion,rain,tears& pain

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||­|||||||||||||||

        /She crept over to me

      //Glided her hands down my pants

    ////Guiding me to her

  //////Without hesitation

////////Sliding

Into her gut

\Aware that soon

  \The throbbing

    \The strangle hold

      \\The gentle moan, through her lips

      //Would over

    ///////Come

  ////////////My razor thin, capacity

//////////////////                                                                                                                

                     ||     T o
                                                                                      feel.

Guilt.

A small child once swam up to me
While I was drowning and gasping for breath
And asked.
Kindly.
Be my friend?
Without responding I looked at her,
And ignored her
To continue with my flailing in the shallow water.
And it took me until now,
And until later
To realize the deepness of the water was in my mind.
That she had not swam to me but walked
With water around her ankles
Her ankles alone.
So now I'm standing
In shallow water
With a friend, who has waited
And waited
For me to realize there was never any water at all.
None at all.