All I can see
         are your bright blue
                   eyes like crystals.
    Oceans to drown me.
All I can hear
           is your breathing,
                your chest
   rising and falling
          as you sleep
next to me.
   All I can feel
is the weight
                 if your arms,
     holding me tightly
            through this hurricane.
All I can taste
        is the stale
                              cigarette smoke,
            my cancerous lungs.
All I desire
      is your soul
             harmonizing with mine.
You *******.
                You make
                                           me want
         to believe in something
   bigger than myself.

I hate this.
**** her.
I'm better than her.
You're mine.
I can give you the world.
Well...
Maybe she is better.
I mean,
That's why you're there
Right?
You're in her home
Feeling her skin
Kissing her lips...
I hurts so ******* bad.
...
I miss you.
...
Leave her and be with me.
...
I love you.

I'm fine.
Ask anyone.
"She's smart,
beautiful, healthy,
happy, and bright."
Exactly why I wear
bracelets every day
To hide my wrists.
Exactly why I take
Medication just to function
Properly.
But I'm fine.
I promise.
Ask Anyone.

As I sit here in the dark
And pollute my lungs,
I think about my life.
I wonder if my life
Is a life
Worth living.
Day in and day out,
I'm dying.
Every second.
Its hard to breathe.
I'm dizzy and lost
In this cold, dark world.
Another pill to stop the pain
Another cigarette to clear my head
Another drink to make me sleep
I just want to disappear.
But I've already done that.
I'm alone.
I like it that way.
But  I still wonder..
A handful of pills,
A bullet to the head,
A slice to the wrist...
It would only take a second.
Easy enough..
...
But I won't. I'll wait.
I'll figure this out.
...
Someday.