Elizabeth Elaine Alexander

Elizabeth Elaine Alexander May 2013

I don't want to be treated like a queen or princess.

I just want to be yours.

Elizabeth Elaine Alexander May 2013

Another pill.
This is ridiculous.
All of this.
The doctors,
The medications,
The therapists.

Why do I have to be broken?
Why can't I just be happy?

A shelf full of anti-depressants.
Ridiculous.
I feel like a zombie.

I purposely skip doses.
I need to remind myself that I'm alive.
Even if it means I'm in pain.

It takes so much willpower,
You know,
Not to overdose.

This is ridiculous.
I want to fix me.
I don't know how, though.

I miss feeling alive.

For those of you who do not know me, I am open about this. I am on medication for chronic depression, and it does drive me crazy. I skip doses probably once every two weeks, just to come back to reality. But it is okay. I know it will be. <3

Elizabeth Elaine Alexander May 2013

Inside Feelings

....
...
..
.
Exactly.
Nothing.

Elizabeth Elaine Alexander May 2013

Promise.

I cry myself to sleep.
I forget who I am.
I self-harm.

I disconnect myself
From the world.
From everything.

I'm young.
I'm supposed to be alive.
That's how it works.
Right?

I don't know
Who I am anymore.
But it is okay.

I will get better.
I promise.

Elizabeth Elaine Alexander May 2013

Moving On

I know how you are.
You yell.
You hit.
You lie.
But I still loved you.

I found out what you did.
You hid.
You cheated.
You hurt me.
But I still loved you.

I put up with a lot.
More than I should have.
For longer than I should have.
Longer than anyone should have.
And now, I'm done.

I still love you.
But I will forget about you.
Most days,
It will be hard.
But it will get easier.

I still love you.
But I will move on.
I will find someone
Who treats me with respect.
I know this is true.

For sixteen months,
you controlled me.
I'm done.
With you.
With us.

I still love you.
But I forgive you.
And will get over you.

— The End —