I walk down a broken street in search of my Promised Land,
I'm on a mission from God and my God's name is ******.
In the distance I can hear the gunfire,
I'm in a holy war, my sergeant’s named desire.
I walk past other junkies nodding out against a wall,
We're fighting the same cause, fighting against withdrawal.
I reach my destination, I talk with the man,
I hand him twenty dollars, he puts my God in my hand.
****** you must be God for everything I do is for you,
I'd crawl ten miles on broken glass for you.
I'd sell my soul, my family and friends for you,
If you asked me to sell myself, I'd do that too,
You can see I'm truly nothing, nothing without you.
But if you’re really God, you leave me confused,
At times I feel like I've really been used.
You leave me shivering when it's not really cold,
Unable to walk and I'm not even old.
You leave me penniless when I'm not even poor,
You leave me feeling beaten, aching and sore.
You take away my pride, my looks and my health,
Make me lie to my family, my friends and myself.
Although for you I have dedicated my life,
What have you done for me except stabbed me with a knife?
I look in the mirror at my own bloodshot eyes,
I stare at a man whose world is all lies.
I think about my past and start to realize,
You’re not a God at all, but the Devil in disguise.

A flower does not simply die.
it is killed, by the very same thing that created it.
Soil. Though now, much less nutrient.

Its honestly quite ironic,
how the things that create you,
are also capable of destroying you,
like nothing.

I mention irony,
in terms of my mother,
whom is now using her bony fingers,
as knitting needles,
to bind my eyelashes together,
as if to blind me from the obvious.

She wasn't meant to be a mother.

No, definitely not a mother.
maybe a toddler,
whom spends her days nursing a bottle,
and then occasionally falling,
flat on her face,
whether its up the street,
or down the stairs,
her face has to leave blood stains somewhere.

She was meant to be alone.

Alone, so she couldn't,
**** the life out of anything that came near,
like she decided she would do to any ***** bottle,
that crossed her path,
dumping me on a road to destruction as she went,
and never came back to save me from myself.

Honestly, I don't know what she could've been.

I just know she gave up everything,
for a bottle and a good time.
shes the flower that sprouted early,
and died in the cold.

What would you do, if I slipped in your life
Jumbled the thoughts planted deep in your mind
Placed your life carefully under the knife
But saved you to make you think I was kind?

If I stole your cold heart, what would you say?
Would you stomp and stare with eyes that glower?
Let me warn you, I would just slip away
And I wouldn't help in your darkest hour

How would you act, if I made you less black
And made the light peek through your filthy fire?
So let loose your fears without looking back
And throw away your hideous desires

For what would you do, if life was a place
Where the beauty of love is without any grace?

I want to be
the ponytail holders
you find on your
bedside table
long after I've left
in the morning.

Drunk off you love
Drunk off your touch
I can feel that burning and violent rush,
hit the back of my throat,
As you watch me choke, on our memories
And gag on our laughs and cry our sorrows

I wont be able to see straight till tomorrow
When I wake up back in your arms with a pounding in my head,
telling me to get out of your bed and go

But I still can't see
I just want to be free
from your demons at night, that take away sight

So I go back the next day and take a sip of your seduction,
and feel your mass destruction on my liver

Because once again and now till the end I am,
Drunk off your love
Drunk off your touch
I just want to be sober it that too much?