playing with matches lit
listening to the fight
sitting on the stairs
knowing it all
but not helping
you always said
a child not embraced by the village
will burn it down to feel its warmth
but now your house is flaming
the blaze flickers between your teeth
the child plays in the shadows of the fire
what will you do now?

world, forget me
as i'm nothing special
a blank slate
with no motivation

i stay sedimentary
afraid to fail
how can i fly
if i wont take a leap

world, forget me
i have nothing to offer
nothing to share
just an empty shell

a passing character in someone's story
i'll never be the one they read for
my life is nothing but trials
all which i've failed

world, forget me
please i beg you
don't waste your time
trying to see me as who i was meant to be

why must i
live
why must i
keep going
when every time i whisper
the wind steals it?
when every time i speak
teeth scatter?
just let me know
when the world is better
when the fires stop
and the forests grow back
and then maybe
i can too?

yelling
screaming
numb
numb
numb
the thread broke
now its not the voices telling me to
**** myself
its

me

silent wounds
and invisible screams
running
from the existence of
nothing
but then
turning around
because the
invisible wounds
and silent screams
from the absence
of everything
capture attention

help me
please
                          i'm
              s p i r a l i n g
        
         down the rabbit hole
                                           but now
                              alice is gone
         all that's left
                   is the

                            mad hatter

music
fills my world with light,
dancing to Cavetown in my room,
letting the happiness fill me up
like nectar
falling asleep to Madilyn Mei,
listening
until the world goes quiet,
a rare moment of pure joy
despite the cloudy uncertainty of the world,
i exist only for myself in that moment